Cry to sleep or rock to sleep??

Question

I have been scolded for rocking my baby to sleep each time and then I hear such terrible things about crying it out. I am a first time mom with a ACTIVE 6 week old. He literally sleeps 4 hours a day TOTAL!!!!! I know I have to deal with that part but I spend hours upon hours getting him to sleep. I need some advice from those who have been there.

Answer 1

I was scolded too! I felt terrible letting him cry to sleep. I always rocked him, gave him a warm bottle and let him lay on my shoulder for a while until he fell asleep. Not only is it better than hearing your child cry (he wants you!!), you are building an amazing bond between yourself and your child. The babies cry when you put them alone in their crib because they are so used to being attached to mom, and he misses you. Don't listen to the mean people, care for your baby the way you see fit!

Answer 2

Well, I won't scold you for wanting to rock your baby. I think you're a loving parent who just wants to get a good night sleep!

The book that really helped me establish a good routine for my 2nd child was "On Becoming Babywise" by Gary Ezzo. I highly recommend it.

But you need help right now, so, in a nutshell I'll give you some tips from his book.

Make sure your baby takes full feedings everytime he eats. It's not unusual for a 6 week old to eat every 2 hours during the day, and that's fine. When they eat more often during the day, they sleep better at night too.

Establish a routine of "eat - wake - sleep." First thing that happens when your baby wakes up in the morning is he eats. Then change his diaper, let him have some tummy time and play for a little bit (at 6 weeks, he won't be awake very long). When he gets fussy, it's bed time - he's telling you he's tired. Put him down for a nap. Then when he wakes up, the cycle starts over.

Establish a consistent routine before you put him in his crib. It might be the same song you sing or a short rocking session. But put him in his bed awake. If you do the same things before you put him in bed everytime, he'll know to expect sleep after that. Believe me: it is SO much easier to teach a 6 week old to sleep without your help than a 1 year old that you've rocked to sleep all that time.

You have a perfect opportunity to get the right steps in motion now, when it's easy to change your baby's habits! Do it right now, and you'll be the envy of all the other new moms - I know you will.

With my second child, I put her in her crib awake from the beginning. And it was rare for her to protest sleep, but when she did, she would have stopped her crying by the time I started going down the stairs. So, if you have the timing right, with the routine in place, he won't cry for very long.

Answer 3

I don't agree with letting them cry it out. You have to do what is right for you. When you get too tired to deal then by ALL means put the baby in a safe place and go outside and take a break. I just wonder why you are spending so much time trying to put the baby to sleep. Maybe the baby isn't tired yet.

My son was collicky and these things worked for me. Get a good baby carrier and walk around with the baby - I used Native Carrier, but there are so many different kinds. Your baby can hear your heart and you talking and singing - walking creates a rocking motion and the carrier gives a cocoon feeling that babies like. There is also a video called Happiest Baby on the Block that I recommend you buy or borrow from your library. It is all about Shushing and swaddling.

Don't worry your baby will let you know what works for you guys. They always do. Good luck Momma!

Answer 4

I don't think you can spoil an infant. I have a 6 week old (almost 7) and she is held when fussy. My baby gets colicky and even though she gets inconsolible I know she can trust me. Right now I think that trust is important. I'm going to try to put her on a routine however when she gets 8-12 weeks so she will sleep by herself. I put her in her bed when she is sleeping soundly. I don't think when they are that young there is a such thing as too much. I do think once my baby hits 3-6 (depending on the baby) I will start letting her cry a little. My dad tells me to let her cry it out as does my sister but each mom and dad has certain ways of raising their children and as long as you are not neglecting or abusing them there is no right or wrong. Congrats on your baby.

Answer 5

A couple of good books have been mentioned (No Cry Sleep Solution and Healthy Sleep Habits...). Also, try "The Happiest Baby on the Block."

Crying it out is not a good option, in my opinion. I think you are doing the right thing by rocking your baby to sleep. You can't spoil a newborn baby. Plus, they aren't ready for sleep training until they are about 8 weeks old (some aren't ready then).

Things that have worked for both of mine are swaddling, running an air filter (white noise), and using a swing.

Best of luck to you! It doesn't last forever and you'll miss these sleepless months later on.

Answer 6

It is your choice, and the only thing that will work to find out how you and your son "agree" is to experiment and practice. Pick a plan and stick with it for a few weeks. Nothing works right away...

I let both of my kids cry it out (with obvious exceptions) and to this day if there is uncontrollable screaming, the child id put in the room to have some "calming down time". My children and I are completely in love with each other, and both are perfectly normal, loving, and bright kids.

However, like I have said before in other similar questions, my friend rocked her baby to sleep until he was in grade school. They also have a great relationship and he is a fabulous and well-adjusted kid.

When I was a first time mom, I became increasingly annoyed by the people who would *angrily* tell me what to do with my child. I am all for sharing advice- that how we make it through the day!! But scolding? Uh uh... if you want to raise my child, you need to fork over college fund money. Otherwise, share your idea and back off! LOL!!

Don't let more experienced mommies make your decisions for you... it is not their place! Only you can decide how much crying you can listen to without breaking, and only you can determine how much rocking you can take before you feel like screaming yourself!

Good luck, dear.

Answer 7

My daughter is 2 1/2 months old and I still rock her to sleep when she lets me...during the day is when she mostly lets me...at night time, she just wants to be laid in her bed (which is a pac-n-play w/the bassinette on the top...very helpful) with her pacifier and goes to sleep by herself, but I sit on my bed and make sure she is sleeping. She is a very active baby and has been since she was two weeks old. I would rock her to sleep, lay her down and if she woke up, I would try to give her the pacifier and if let her fuss for just a couple of minutes. If she didn't settle, then I rocked her to sleep and held her longer until she was completely sound asleep....(you can always know when a baby is totally asleep when you feel their entire body weight). Then I would lay her down in bed and she would be sleep soundly. Like the others said though, NEVER feel bad for rocking your baby....he needs you and needs that time with you. You do what's best for the both of you....mother's know what is best for their baby!!! Good luck to you!!!!!

Answer 8

I rocked my babies to sleep and they all turned out great. Beware of people who tell you you HAVE to do it their way.
I dont' think babies should be left to cry over ten or fifteen minutes. I think your instinct is right.
On the other hand, :) it's ok to try to teach your baby to soothe himself. Over time. Wait until he's ready to sleep, but not over tired, play the same music, lay him in the crib and let him cry for ten min. Then go get him, and when he's relaxed again, try again. It won't work the first night, it may take you a month. But eventually they will learn to soothe themselves to sleep.
You can buy books or find info on that.
However if that never works, when he's three and you look back at all the hours rocking and sing and cuddling him to sleep, you won't regret it. I don't.
Another trick is to have a mattress on the floor by your bed, let him go to sleep with you, then transfer him to the close by mattress. A lot of parents do a lot of bed hopping.
Also, if he wakes up when you transfer him, you can sleep on the mattress on the floor and leave him in the bed!

Answer 9

I personally have NEVER agreed with letting a baby "cry it out"....what are they crying out anyway? Sucha a stupid phrase. I digress.

Your baby is only a baby for a short time, enjoy those moments of rocking and cuddling because before you know it they don't even want you to go near them in public...LOL.

In all seriousness, each child is different and developes differently. I have 4 children. One only slept while I held her until she was almost 3, another slept alone from day one, Another still sleeps with me (2yo) and my youngest sleeps through the night in a crib since 4 weeks old. I treated them all the same as far as routine and bed time.They are individuals from birth. Just do what feels right to YOU.

Answer 10

Don't let anyone scold you for holding your baby or rocking your baby or being in love with your baby or wanting to spend time with your baby or wanting to be with your baby or wanting to cuddle with your baby or any of those ridiculous things. I'm not sure what you mean by he sleeps 4 hours a day TOTAL -- do you mean within a 24 hour period he sleeps only 4 hours or he only sleeps 4 hours during the day time and then he sleeps at night as well? And I'm not sure really what you mean when you say that you spend hours getting him to sleep.... what are you and he doing for those hours and hours? Is he eating about 8 or more times a day? Are you changing his diaper atleast that many times as well? After you've done all that it doesn't seem like there would be enough hours in the day for you to spend hours and hours trying to get him to sleep!! I don't mean to sound weird, I'm just trying to understand. Babies love to suck and love to be held and love to be rocked and want to be held virtually all the time and want you to walk with them -- but, all that doesn't mean that you are trying to get the baby to go to sleep while you are doing all those things. That's just what it all looks like. You might be better off if you looked at it as time to spend with your baby rather than time that you need to spend to get him to go to sleep. If he really does sleep only 4 out of every 24 hours, I would talk with your doctor about it. Babies are certainly all different and need different amounts of sleep but, that would be way under anything near usual.