Why do I always have low self esteem with men when they look at other women?

Question

I have had a b/f for the past 2 two months. I dont think that he would cheat on me physically but when he looks at other women and i dont mean at there face, it bothers me and I feel betrayed He said he likes to look at women and he knows that it does bother me, but I dont want to make an issue over it, but it really does bother me. When i was younger, someone tried to fondle me and it really has made me not trust men,as this man was a relative of mine.

Answer 1

Well a true gentleman does respect how his lady feels so he should be sensitive to your feelings. that said my honey of 5 years doesn't check out other woman.Why go browsing for eye candy unless you plan on shopping. I know its normal to notice an attractive person but noticing and checking out are not the same thing.

Answer 2

I suspect that the two issues are not related. Your experience as a young person really doesn't relate to the current issue which is a form of jealousy. Men look at Women and Women look at Men. It is the natural course of things. That said, you can be more trusting and accepting and he can be more sensitive to how it affects you, so you can both work together to resolve the issue.

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Answer 3

Is your self-esteem affected by others' opinions? It sure is, according to a new study, which shows that virtually everyone -- no matter what they say -- cares what people think of them. The study helps remind us that perfectly healthy people -- with perfectly healthy self-esteem -- are still affected by what others think, he says. Occasional feelings of low self-esteem are only normal. I believe you when you say you were fondled at a young age ,and you don't trust men that is normal to have feeling's with this issues. Now you need to move forward with counseling is a good option plus you can recover again and be happy. Good luck

Answer 4

Men are pigs!(OK, not all) but he should not be looking at other women when you are right there. If this behavior was there from the begining the you should have dumped him the first time it happened. I know that we (men and women) are always looking for something better even if we have a bf/gf, but he should not make it so obvious. Especially if you are right there and he knows that it bothers you. Dump the loser.

Answer 5

Go see a counselor. You have to learn to trust people, otherwise you can't ever form true relationship with them.

A twinge of jealousy when your man looks at another woman is normal, but it sounds like you have far stronger feelings than that.

You can get past this, but I really do recommend you speak to someone or join a support group that can help you through this.

Answer 6

It really looks to me that you need to do some work on yourself before you are mentally healthy to date.

So you were fondled and now you don't trust men. You are going to carry that crap for the rest of your life?

I am a firm believer that just because you are fondled/raped/abused it does not have to affect the rest of your life, and if it does, you were probably mentally unhealthy to begin with.

Answer 7

i was going to say it must be something to do with personal issues or experience that you've had in the past.

for me, on another hand, i dont mind, as i like to look at other men (and weirdly women as well) - so it doesnt bother me if my husband says, look at that girls booty or whatever.

i think you need to try and work together to try and put those bad memories behind, and if it means him at least not looking other way while he is with you, i think will make you feel better.

so explain to him, why it bothers you, he should understand and sympathise, therefore stop, at least when you're around

;)

Answer 8

trust me we all have the same problem..but its natural everyone does it... you and me..but i know for some reason when they do it,it feels as if we dont exist. but id rather my bf look then actually be with that person. im 8 months pregnant and looking like a fat hippo...i know my bf is looking at other girls...but what can you do...nothing.. the question is are you really gonna let it get to you.. because deep down you know your guilty too. you cant say you never look at other guys..not even a peep..

Answer 9

If he's blatantly being a pig when you're out and about, confront him. He should at least have the decency to look elsewhere (perhaps at you?). Then again, is it a quick glance or is he ogling? Given your sensitivity, perhaps you're too busy waiting for each and every subtle opportunity to arise. Remember, people have eyes and sometimes they make contact with other human beings -- it happens.

Answer 10

my husband does the same thing...it definitely makes me have a low self esteem also...but if the tables were reversed and I looked at a guys asssets...**** would hit the fan...double standards...can't figure it out...but I don't care anymore cause i expect it now and he never stops...I think who really has a low self esteem is our men...they always gotta feel they can have that extra...I feel sorry for them actually...I'm happy with myself now and don't make it an issue.. hope you will do the same...maybe you oughta take a look at some assets in front of b/f and see how he handles it...good luck