Do you think the mother-in-law will end up controlling the marriage by instructing her daughter?
Is this healthy for the marriage?
How can the husband deal with this and still have a grandmother from his wife's side for his children?
2007-08-29 13:46:50 · 10 answers · asked by Sweet n Sour 4 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
Well it wasn't healthy for my son's marriage. He finally did put his foot down. It was to the point that her mother was actually put first before him. The mother/daughter relationship came before the marriage.
Three counselors later things seem to be improving.
2007-08-31 03:57:41 · answer #1 · answered by proud grandma 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do not believe that anyone can control someone else or their marriage unless they are otherwise open to it. I wish I could spend time with my mother who has passed in 2001. She loved my husbands and each one that I divorced- she blamed me (with some humor, of course). A woman should enjoy her mother and appreciate any real 'wisdom' that she displays. I think that is what is wrong with much of the world today. The older women no longer pass along their wisdom to the young women and also for the men. We have a nation of people who allow the elderly to waste away and die in nursing homes who often still have great wisdom to share. I pray that the people involved know the difference in controlling and being supportive of her daughter and of the husband and has some compassion for the welfare of the family. The husband and wife should have a relationship by which they both know what and how much they will reveal to each's parents. There is no such thing as 'sides' when there is real love and concern for the family's members and the man should still be the head of his household. I feel very fortunate that I have a fiance' who's mother and I are close in age - yes...and we have a great relationship. Indeed the same for his 'grandmother, his father and all his family members. They are close, but far enough away from our relationship that we can ask for support and advice and get good wisdom from them. He deals with the situation well and so do I. I love having a family who does love me. My own family consists of my one sister, her two children (her 2 grands) and my one daughter. Immediate family is slim and limited - but our extended family is great and wonderful and loving!
2007-08-29 15:33:52 · answer #2 · answered by THE SINGER 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, what happens is what i like to call the "nipple suckle" effect. The wife will call the mother at all times of the day for reassurance that the husband is always at fault. This can be a potential problem, and must be nipped in the bud right away. I suggest the "crowbar" approach. Using a crowbar you simply pry the daughter, preferably not while suckling, away from the mother.
2007-08-29 13:58:49 · answer #3 · answered by oooooreallyfoo 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
What is too much time? If they all get along then great. Why is it that people feel the husband is the topic of conversation?
Can't all these ladies enjoy each other and be a family? Some people can respect boundaries
2007-08-31 03:13:54 · answer #4 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It would appear that the wife is too dependent on her elders and is somewhat incapable of making her own parenting decisions. This is never healthy for the marriage for the reasons you cited.
2007-08-29 15:33:21 · answer #5 · answered by Rio Madeira 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Nothing can be done my friend, when my g/f's mum comes to the house I disappear quick sharp. Check out the family portrait below, just hope the looks don't run in the family.
2007-08-29 14:06:18 · answer #6 · answered by Johno 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
theres no dangers. its the results of whether you like whats going on or not. shes probably immature and still needs her mommy around i dont know. just observe- if she is using her mom to defend her- well shes not totally independant of her mom. if she does that to me using her mom as a defense well baby- we are breaking up- i dont need another person to help my baby decide for herself.
2007-08-29 16:00:28 · answer #7 · answered by bullet b 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's her mother, for God's sake! She should ba allowed to have a good relationship with her own mother!
2007-08-29 13:56:07 · answer #8 · answered by Alana 2 · 2⤊ 3⤋
It depends on the people. I can't imagine a hard and fast rule about what will happen.
2007-08-29 13:52:33 · answer #9 · answered by Steve-O 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
they can complain about the hubby/son in law respectively.
2007-08-29 13:49:59 · answer #10 · answered by 27ysq 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋