I have been married for about 6 years , I have a 10 year old from a previous relationship. Wll I have a daughter who is 2 and Iam pregnant again. I work nights about 4 nighs a wek ad am home durinthe day. I do all of the cooking ,cleaning, bill paying, dr.'s appts and so on. I dont mind doing them but I need anight out with him or maybe just to go to a book store or to a movie. Well he works urin the day and by th time he comes home the kids are in bed and I am at work from 5pm ti 3am and up at 5 everymorning cuz thats when my daughter wakes up. He goes out 2 nights a week by himself and I want to make him undestand that I need time away too. Bt he just says I am nagging and that I should be happy with what I have. How do I make him understand that not only having 2 kids and one more on te way takes its toll too and I need to get out othe than to go to work?! Help! Serious inquires only please!! Thanks in advance.
2007-08-29 12:41:46 · 17 answers · asked by littlemama 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
lol whats good for the goose is good for the gander eh?.. well my suggestion to u is not to say anything.. i would just go.. dump the kids on him and leave and go out to a movie.. u've tried being nice about it but all he wants to do is turn into a fight and make u feel guilty about it.. so just go u have a right to ur time, and if nothing else hire a babysitter and go.. why should u be the only responsible person in this relationship ? u need ur time to relax as well..and when he starts complaining about u going out tell him , "hey i tried to talk to u, i tried to get it arranged so we can have a date night.. and u wouldnt listen , u wanted 2 nights a week to go out and i never stopped u , but when i asked for one, u were selfish, so im no longer asking im taking"
2007-08-29 12:52:00 · answer #1 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you sound like an amazing woman. He is very lucky to have you in his life. You also sound very predictable. What I mean by this is, your husband knows everything that you do from the time you get up in the morning until the time you go to sleep. If he says that you are nagging him, ok that fine. don't wait for him to take you out or to a movie, take yourself out. Find a baby sitter for the kids, fix yourself up, put on a little makeup and go see a movie or just go somewhere and get a bite to eat. For once he need to see that you don't need him ALL the time. Let him wonder where you are for a chance. If he isn't home before you leave the house spray a little perfume around the house so that he can smell it (sounds silly, but what do you have to lose) when he get home. I bet this will get his attention. He will start wondering where you are. Sometimes we have to take these men out of their comfort zone every once in a while.
Good luck with all the advice you get.
2007-08-29 20:00:00 · answer #2 · answered by lisaraye 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is beyond selfish. Being pregnant your workload should've been cut in half with his assistance or hired help, if financially able. I realize that you are pregnant and not disabled, but really? Working a graveyard (10 hour) shift and only 2 hours sleep? On top of all that, most of the house work and child care? That's almost slavery! You deserve more than a couple nights out, you deserve a vacation!
You should seriously talk to him so that he can gain a more realistic perspective on your point of view. If he isn't willing to make a compromise, then you should reevaluate your situation and determine if doing all of the aforementioned is worth your health as well as that of your unborn child.
2007-08-29 19:59:13 · answer #3 · answered by christyn79 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can not keep going at the rate you are, especially if you are pregnant. Two hours sleep is not healthy for you or the baby. That being said, find a reliable babysitter and go out with a girl friend. I would also suggest marriage counseling because he is being unreasonable. There is no way to keep a marriage together without spending time together.
2007-08-29 19:49:28 · answer #4 · answered by nimat33 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
God, he sounds ridiculous. Tell him you are going to pay a sitter if he won't watch the kids one night a week. Tell him you are going out on such a day to a bookstore, and you'll be back around such a time, and goodbye. What is the worse he'll do to you, leave you? I don't think so, you sound like you make life very comfortable for him! He's not stupid! He doesn't need to give you permission, did he ask you for permission those two nights a week?
2007-08-29 19:45:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
He said you should be happy with what you have? I don't think you have to try to make him understand anything after a comment like that. TELL him you're going out and TELL him either you're hiring a babysitter or he can make sure the kids are fine. If he isn't willing to accept that, then I suggest you sit the boy down and give him a good talking to.
Don't let him be unfair. You deserve your time away.
2007-08-29 19:51:58 · answer #6 · answered by grambleboy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Based in what you said I wouldn't try to make him to understand that I need to have some time for me too. I just would have it and end of story.
Now regarding to cooking, cleaning and all that story a very good strike would help a little bit, especially now that you are pregnant again.
A lot of people only recognize what they had after losing it.
Just tell him you snooze you lose!
2007-08-29 19:56:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can only imagine that his complete ignorance of your need is due to your tone with him. Aside from that, I can only guess that he doesn't love you much. I know that sounds terrible, but he seems to think you're not worth your needs. He doesn't own you. Go out and get some time away a couple nights a week. And for goodness sakes, stop working yourself to death.
2007-08-29 20:01:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Simple tell him he should be happy with what he's got at home too....tell him his boys night out is a thing of the past if you don't get the same privilege... if he is too lazy to watch the kids then hire a babysitter.
2007-08-29 19:53:59 · answer #9 · answered by ♥♥♥MiSSY♥♥♥ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you. I use to be in the same boat. Mine are grown now. I finally told him that I was going out and he could either take care or the kids or pay a baby sitter to stay with them. He finally got the message and started letting me have my time out. We also made plans once a month to get a baby sitter and go out together.
I wish you the best of luck and get out by yourself soon.
2007-08-29 19:48:08 · answer #10 · answered by sexyladyinak 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋