He is verbal, and mentally abusive, i need out asap i cant handle this anymore, we spent 3 weeks appart for holidays and i realize i need out he is so crule do i write him a note and leave till he reads it or do i stay and listen to the verbal and mental abuse? please, i dont know how to get out :(
2007-08-29 11:07:03 · 16 answers · asked by 12121212 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have 2 kids with him, this is my place, he needs out, we arent married and I shouldnt have to leave from here he should. When you are mentally and verbally abused and brainwashed you dont know how it feels to be me(unless you have) i need advice on how to get him out! without the kids seeing him getting all mad this is a hard shoe i am in right now
2007-08-29 11:14:38 · update #1
You pack your stuff and leave when he is at work. You leave him a note saying you are not coming back and he will be hearing from your lawyer......
2007-08-29 11:10:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that most of the answers so far have missed the point that you stated about it being your place. This is what I would do.
First of all you will need a witness. Second of all, wait for the children to be gone. School, playing, etc. Have a friend of yours come over for a visit. While the friend is there, call your b/f into another room and simply tell him what is on your mind, but stand close to the door. If he starts getting abusive, simply walk out to where your friend is. This should alleviate any issues of physical abuse. Tell your b/f that you think that it would be better if he would move from the house as things just aren't how you had imagined them to be and also that neither one of you are getting anywhere in the relationship. Should anything bad come from the encounter, then you have a witness should you feel the need to call the police. Good luck to you.
2007-08-29 18:24:36 · answer #2 · answered by pappysgotitgoinon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Plan it out so you don't have to return. While he's at work, move the stuff you & the kids need. Leave a note, don't say where your going to be or he'll track you down to verbally abuse you again. Call the police and ask if they can assist you in his eviction.
Even if this is going to take you a week to plan out get it in motion and don't back down. You can do this.
You deserve better...this is his problem not yours. You did not make him this way and it's not your fault. Get out, don't look back. Please whatever you do don't listen to the vile things he says about you. Remember who you are and who you were before you met him. When you are out of this situation you'll look back and wonder what took you so long.
Turn to your friends and family, don't think they don't know or that you can't ask them for help, they will support you in this I guarantee it. You are going to have to file an eviction notice on him if he won't leave willingly so be prepared for a 3 month haul if he drags his feet.
Good luck sweetie.
2007-08-29 18:45:31 · answer #3 · answered by Cher 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can do this for yourself, and only you can really know what you are capable of putting up with and still getting out. If you already know how he will react, then you can make the choice to leave him a note. If you feel you owe it to him to tell him in person and think you can still leave, then you should stay to get closure. However, if you think that there is any chance that he will hurt you physically when you try to leave, you should make sure you have a support system when you do. If you don't have friends or family close enough to help you, then there are local domestic violence offices that can help you. He doesn't have to have physically hurt you in the past for them to help you prevent it when you go.
Good luck!
2007-08-29 18:13:16 · answer #4 · answered by Breanna C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are still trying to be nice to a man who is not nice to you. As long as that is more important to you than getting out you will probably stay. My suggestion is that you simply pack and go. Leave a note telling him good bye. Get a prepaid cell phone and call him 48 hours later to tell him y ou are OK. Then move far far away. You deserve better.
2007-08-29 18:11:54 · answer #5 · answered by Brent 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah you need out! Now 7 years is a long time, maybe just maybe counseling is an option, but if not then you have to find a place to live first, maybe a friend. Then just pack a bag and go. Call him later and discuss your reasons. Shouldn't do it in person, because if he becomes violent you don't want to be in his way.
2007-08-29 18:13:21 · answer #6 · answered by billy m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You get out by walking out the door and never look back. First find a place and then tell him you will be leaving him. It sounds like you don't have a job. I suggest for you to get a job save your money and find a room sharing rental in town.
2007-08-29 18:14:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never allow anyone to bring you down. If you allow this type of behavior to continue, you obviously lack self esteem and are insecure. Be strong and walk away definitely, way too many fish in the sea girlfriend. Tell him to his face, the worst he can do is really be a jerk about it but once you say goodbye, thats it, its over. You can learn to be your own person and learn how to be self effient, good luck!!!
2007-08-29 18:15:53 · answer #8 · answered by Jersey Sweetheart 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to leve asap leve when he is not around so you dont get the verbal and mental abuse
2007-08-29 18:13:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him you are a human being and cannot and will not live like this. Get a Lawyer, file for divorce, move out.
Get friends and family support during this process.
Good luck. You WILL be happier and glad you did it.
2007-08-29 18:11:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋