My husband and i have been seperated for about 6 months now. we have a 5 yr old son. the relationship was unhealthy and tons of arguing and overall he was a bad husband. i cant decide what to do in means of sep or div? i dont miss him and i dont really want him back right now either. i love getting my individuality back and finding out more about me! .I can also see that he has not changed and not sure( almost positive) he never will. I am just not sure what to do from here?
2007-08-29 11:02:41 · 11 answers · asked by calimom42 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ok Chris thanks for your response...uh your not at all bitter are you??? just a lucky guess. and for your information, not all women are like that, namely me. my ex is a good dad and i would never "take him for all he is worth" out of spite. he gets equal visitation and wouldnt dream of taking it away from him. Open up your mind dude. and you know what he doesnt help me at all with my son financially....and he doesnt even "have" anything to take if I was interested in that.
2007-08-29 16:43:29 · update #1
It sounds like you have already made the choice, you just need to decide when to make it final. There really isn't a huge difference between legal separation and still being married, other than you can say that you technically didn't cheat if you met someone else. It sounds like you are finding yourself healthy and ready to move on, why not give yourself the closure of the divorce? If in the end you find that you both have grown up and can give it another try, then there's nothing to say you can't re-marry and call it what it truly ought to be, a fresh start instead of a continuation of something that already wasn't working.
2007-08-29 11:17:43 · answer #1 · answered by Breanna C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is America - just divorce him and take him for all he's worth and then poison his own children against him because he's such a horrible man. It's the American way!
For a man in America it no longer makes sense to marry.
The ugly truth is that more than 67% of marriages will end in divorce. 92% of the time it will be initiated by the woman for no other reason than she is “unfulfilled” – oh, and because she gets the kids, the house, at least ½ the assets and most of his future after tax income for the next 18 years. The man will get raked over in family court. He will lose the house. He will see his kids 2 out of 14 days (if the ex doesn't level unsubstantiated "abuse" claims.) He will be forced to hand over 40-50% of his take-home pay. If he loses his job due to illness or downsizing, the State will toss him in jail. While jailed the arrearage will grow and the state will charge interest. The State will revoke his driver's and professional licenses, make him virtually unemployable.
If you were to take up sky-diving, and the instructor informed you that 67% of the parachutes were defective, would you take the plunge?
The men’s Marriage Strike is alive and well, thank you.
nomarriage.com
2007-08-29 23:33:16 · answer #2 · answered by Chris 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all a legal separation is NOT a disillusionment of marriage. You will STILL be legally married so you can't enter into any committed relationships with anyone else otherwise you WILL be committing adultery. If you are NOT legally separated right now you'd better GET there ASAP. A LEGAL separation will "freeze" all of your accounts that way neither one of you will be able to empty out the bank and leave the other one with nothing but debt. If you want to be able to "move on" with your life I suggest you get a divorce because a separation isn't going to allow you to do much moving on.
2007-08-30 00:14:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can't you just file for divorce and make up your mind later if you want to finalize it? I think you can wait years. that's what i would do. If you get a legal separation, neither one of you can re-marry someone else and if you want to get a divorce, you will need to pay again. check with your state. If he's already out, what is the difference if you are divorced? Are you having second thoughts? dont do it until you are absolutely sure.
2007-08-29 18:10:37 · answer #4 · answered by me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a seperation is if you still have to work out the minor things in a relationship and to figure out/try to work things out for a reconciliation however divorce is if you know you are making the right choice and are ready to cut your losses and dont need a seperation to think about it- Being seperated you are still legally married even if you are legally seperated- however the choice is yours and you can only decide it... good luck
2007-08-29 19:17:24 · answer #5 · answered by mrsyac2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your subconcious has already made the decision, your concious mind just has to catch up. Reread what you wrote. You are happier without him. He will not and has not changed. Get the divorce and find someone you deserve that is good to you.
2007-08-29 18:16:33 · answer #6 · answered by eharrah1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have no interest in giving the relationship another try, then visit a lawyer to get info. Don't wait until you're in another relationship b/c you'll have a looooooong wait to get this done.
2007-08-29 18:09:33 · answer #7 · answered by rebelyellniki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't believe he will change and you don't want him back, divorce him. If you think there is a possibility of getting back together then do the legal separation.
2007-08-29 18:39:36 · answer #8 · answered by ophirhodji 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
D I V O R C E.you are doing good you made a change stick with it but remember you are a mom first!
2007-08-29 18:09:15 · answer #9 · answered by STALKER BLOCK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't look to others to help you make such an obvious choice. You do not need anyone's approval to improve you life.
2007-08-29 18:09:04 · answer #10 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋