Please help?

Question

I cut all contact with my ex 2 days ago. It's so hard though. We were together for 3 years and I really loved him, more than anyone else. We stayed in contact after the break up but it was too hard for me, especially as he was the one who ended it. He was the one who wanted to stay in contact with me but I just could not because of all the feelings I have for him. We met a couple of weeks ago and it was a really nice meeting. He told me though that he thinks it's for the best to end our relationship and he wants to move on. But he said that he is scared that he might be making a mistake at the same time and we might get together again. i told him that in order to move on, I need to say good bye and go my separate way. It was so sad. I miss him so much and i am scared that I might not see him or hear from him again. Do you think by cutting all contact with him I ruined all chances for us to get back together again in the future? I really didn't want to do it but do I have any choice?

Answer 1

i think he was being selfish, expecting you to wait around for him to decide; i recommend you move on and find someone who will give you everything you need and want in life

Answer 2

You did not have a choice. And you DID do the right thing by cutting off contact. Try not to think about the two of you and your chances of having a future together. There is also rarely any good thing about using each other as a crutch to try to get over the break up, it's like picking a scab, it'll never heal.

You did the right thing, it is hard but every day you are making positive changes by not being in contact with him.
Now that I think about it- he probably really does love you and want to be with you but timing is bad.

Remember: Women will agree to settle down with someone they love and think is "the one". With men, it's all about timing, you could be "the one" but if timing is bad- the deal's off. "Timing" can be anything from finance, to career, to geographic logation, to age. Hope this helps.

Answer 3

I'd hate to break this to you, but the chances of the two of you getting back together are quite slim. Guys often wish to keep in contact with their exes for the following reasons: 1) They are afraid they made a mistake, like he said, and want to keep you close just in case they find that there's nothing better out there, 2)they are hoping for "booty call" privileges, and 3) Even though they don't want you, they don't want anyone else to have you either, so they try to stay in your life to prevent you from meeting new guys. Cutting off all contact is the necessary thing to do to begin your healing process, and also to open you up to the idea of dating someone else when you're ready, once you're over him. I'm so sorry you're heartbroken. I remember exactly how that feels, like you're being crushed by those medieval compressing walls with the spikes hanging off of them. Good luck to you.

Answer 4

You'll be fine. Time heals, just hang in there! When he tells you that he is scared that he is making a mistake its becuase he wants to know that if he fails without you and cant find another girl, he wants to be able to come back to you. Don't let it happen. Move on with your life and after you two are over the breakups, you will feel much better about yourselves and then can see whether or not the relationship is worth another try, but for now I say cut all contact.

Answer 5

It's either you want to keep in contact with him or you dont. It sounds like you want to stay in contact with him in hopes that he might change his mind. He broke it off for a reason. You should cut all ties with him if you want to move on. If not then talk to him and tell him you want to remain friends but at the same time go your separate ways. If he wants you back that bad though, he'll be knocking down your door. Maybe he needs time to really miss you and maybe he'll realize what he lost. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Good luck hun :)

Answer 6

You did the right thing, ask yourself this: say you did hang out and he found someone else, could you handle that? I believe the heart ache would be much worst. I had the same thing happen to me not long ago. Cut all ties, I feel different now and I'm glad I did. It Will take time to heal but soon someone will come into your life and will want to be there forever. Hang in and keep your mind bust on other things rather then him, it will help. Good Luck.

Answer 7

There is the saying "if you love something let it go, if it comes back it was yours to keep, if not then it wasn't yours." something like that.
Don't rush into anything with another person. Everything I read says people should wait at least 2 months before moving on, to give themselves time to know what they really want and how they really feel. When people jump from one relationship to another they are looking for a way to make there pain go away and to let the other person make them happy. Other people can't make us happy, we have to do that for ourselves. Give yourselves some time. If we don't give ourselves time before moving on so quickly then that saying doesn't mean anything, becasue how can that love come back to you if you're not there. I think sometimes we self destruct our lives by how we manage our feelings and actions and we will always feel unhappy. My point is, theres nothing wrong if oyu need to not talk to him becasue of the pain, but don't rush off to someone else becasue while you're thinking and hurting, so is he. It happened to me, my gf of 3 years broke up and started seeing someone within about 10 days. I loved her so much and wanted us to work things out but couldn't becasue it allowed her to be emotionally unavailable to me and she jsut wanted to see how things would go with the new guy. Who knows, we could have had the best relationship ever but we'll never know becasue she didn't giver her self time. It may work out for the two of you, just give it some time. Goodluck.

Answer 8

Try not to think about "getting back together". For as long as you hang on to this hope, you cannot move on. It's the right decision to stop all contact with him - and of course it's going to be hard. But you have to set a goal of "moving on" - which means distancing yourself from this relationship. Try to rebuild your future on a different foundation. Yes, this person might not want to be with you - but there's someone somewhere looking for you right now. You have to get over your past to be ready for your future. It'll get better with time. Good luck.

Answer 9

Wow, this is a tough situation and I feel for you. It sounds like you are doing the right thing, though. You can only be true to yourself when you are honest with him and yourself that you aren't capable of being his friend right now because you want to be with him as more than that, and that's what you've done. You can't solve his dilemma for him, you were committed to him and you can't answer the question of whether or not walking away from you is the right thing for him to do. However, you can take care of yourself by knowing your limits and sticking to them. If you don't hear from him again, the healing process will have already started, and if you do, it wasn't because you pushed him by maintaining your comforting presence in his life at the expense of your daily emotions.

Good luck, if things don't work out for you with this one, it sounds like you are able to know yourself well enough to make it work when you meet the right person.

Answer 10

He was the one who ended it, he should be the one to do the first move if he wants you back. You just did the right thing by breaking off any means of communication with him. The thing is you can't move on if you keep on seeing each other. And if ever you do decide to stay in touch with him, it would be twice as painful if he tells you at the end that it wouldn't work.

Answer 11

No I dont think you ruined the chance that you may contact each other in the future. Take time to find out who you are and move on with your life. Keep the same phone in case he wants to contact you later on. Dont sit and wait for him though.