I am not sure if I'm keeping my baby or giving it up for adoption.. need some input please?

Question

I'm 18... it should be born around my 19th birthday. I'm 11 weeks now, and plan on saving my money, finding a room mate, and moving into an apt... and continuing with school.
I'm no longer with the father, but I have a new boyfriend that is very supportive, and I can for him very much.
I still can't decide if I should keep him or her or not. It's a hard decision, because I want to be able to, you know?
In the mean time, I dont plan on buying any baby furnerture, or much clothing, incase things go the other direction.

So my questions are
1) what are some things I NEED when bringing a baby home... like, things that cant wait a day or two to buy
2)do you think I should keep it if Im able to?

Thanks so much for your input and answers, I really appreciate it

Answer 1

You are a child yourself, proof is in your words and level of thinking. So this guy impregnates you 11 weeks ago, leaves you and you are on to a new guy you care about a lot. Do I have that right? I know I sound harsh right off but think about what your situation says about how or if you are ready to raise a child.

My opinion is that you do the baby a favor and put the child up for adoption by a family that can truly provide for him/her. You will be doing yourself a huge favor as well, by letting yourself grow up at a pace you can handle, and giving yourself a much better chance at a prosperous future.

Letting the baby be adopted will prove one thing, that you really love your child and yourself. You obviously care about things, and you obviously realize the seriousness of your upcoming choices, or else you would not be asking questions. That said you could raise the child on your own and be successful, a lot of women have done it, but a lot have failed as well.

I'm hoping you and your baby do well no matter what choices you make, and I commend you on your decision to get informed and to do the right thing. When you have sex the next time use reliable birth control, and condoms to help protect yourself against std's. If you chose to raise the baby on your own, do not let the father out of his financial obligations, get an attorney if need be.

So I'm reading my answer over and I sound like a preachy f---to myself, but I'm relating all my thoughts and feelings openly to you because you are sincere. My opinions and comments come out of my experiences with/around my female friends/loved ones who have had these types of issues over the last 20 -25 years. No matter what do your best, and don't let anyone judge you.

Good luck to you.

Answer 2

It's a really hard thing to have to give your baby up for adoption, but I for one am so proud of you for giving this baby a chance at life! Good for you! As far as keeping the baby? I don't know. It's a decision that you must make with your whole heart and soul and don't rush into it one way or the other and know that in most states you have at least until you leave the hospital to change your mind.

Some things you will need if you bring the baby home with you that can't wait would be a couple of outfits, a few blankets, diapers(unless someone can run out for them when you come home) a carseat, some place for baby to sleep. I'd reccomend getting a bassinett. You can get them cheap and they don't take up much space so if that's a concern look for that. Basically, other than that...there's not a whole lot you need to get before hand if you aren't sure BUT it can get expensive and daunting if you have to do it all at once especially with a newborn in tow. You know, if you have supportive friends and family you might want to tell them and register a baby registry and you never know, they might buy all the things you would need for the baby which would take alot of stress out of the decision. Whatever you decide I wish the best for you both. It's not an easy situation to be in and you are already acting like a mother caring for your baby's needs or future needs over your own selfish desires and that says alot!

Answer 3

You are an adult, and i don't think you should give him up, or at least I wouldn't. I guess those that don't want children would end up doing more harm than good, but if I were that age there would be no question. You need diapers, and the hospital will give you some. If you bottle feed, then you need bottles and formula, and you can get the store brand kind to save money. The baby needs clothes. If you are on a low budget you can look into craigslist or something to get used things for cheaper (clothes-they are always selling baby clothes, mattress and crib. But you can't take your baby home unless you have a car seat, and it is possible the hospital might have a program to help out with that.


So, a couple of outfits, carseat, blanket, wipes, and possible bottles.
The hospital will give you some diapers to get by and a few feedings of formula as well as a pacifier.
Then you can get other supplies if you have chosen to keep the baby, like shampoo a crib (or pack'n'play) sheets, ect.

Answer 4

Definitely keep the baby. You have no idea how close of a relationship you will have with your baby by the time you're 5 or 6 months pregnant. Then when the baby finally comes out, all you will want to do is hold your baby tightly next to you. I know you're young and it's probably a lot to think about right now. Pregnancy definitley changes you. Just accept it and take it one day at a time.

Right now, go get yourself a book called, "What to Expect When You're Expecting". It tells you everything you need to know each month that goes by.

As far as what you need to bring the baby home all you really need is an Infants Car Seat. Dont worry about food, the baby will be just fine with your breast milk. As far as all the other things, call some friends or family members that have already had babies and have them give you their old stuff and make sure they throw you a baby shower. You will get tons of gifts.

If possible, and if you can afford it, try to take a Bradley Method course. You will get all kinds of knowledge, more than most people get. It cost about $300, once a week for 12 weeks.

Good Luck.

Answer 5

This is a question that you will go round and round with for about 9 months. Mainly because no action can be taken until you have the baby. You are not allowed to sign papers that give him up till 48 hours after birth. Meanwhile, here is what I think you should do. You can find an adoption agency or home for unwed mother's. A type of agency that will help you weather you keep or give up the baby. There are some like that as that is where I adopted my baby from. They help the birth mother get a job and go to college as well as keep up her prenatal visits and a place to stay before the baby was born. The birth mother whose baby I finally adopted was the third to choose me. The other two changed there minds after the babies were born. Yes this was hard for me but understandable. I agreed to meet the birth parents and now through the case worker, I send pictures of my baby and tell what he is up to. He is 3 now. They call that a semi open adoption. As for what you need when you bring a baby home. You need wipes and diapers, bottles and formula and clothes and baby blankets. You in my prayers and good luck

Answer 6

I couldn't imagine raising a baby without the help of a father, and extended family...you need a lot of support especially if you are going to work and/or go to school. The right thing to do would probalby be to give the baby up for adoption to a two parent home, people who WANT a child and didn't just accidentally get pregnant, HOWEVER I can't imagine how hard that would be, but sometimes doing the right thing is the hardest thing. Think more about the baby....what do you think will benefit the baby the most?

Answer 7

First, congrats on your little one. Motherhood is such a joy. Now, to your questions.
1) You will NEED:
a car seat (good luck getting out of the hospital without one),
a bassinet (or crib),
formula (if not breastfeeding),
diapers (take the ones from the hospital that they stock you up on while you're in there),
sleepers (pjs with feet),
blankets (for bundling baby on the way home and at home) (unless in a warm place) and
best to have some diaper cream too. Those first few poops can be really irritating on baby's bum.
2) This is totally up to you. Loving and taking care of a baby is a lot of work but it is oh so rewarding! Every day is a pleasure... even when the baby is fussy. I recommed keeping the baby as it is a wonderful thing, but if you feel you couldn't take care of the baby due to all the other things in your life... adoption would be good as well. This baby was given to you so only you know what is best for the little one.
Many blessings in whatever you decide to do. :)

Answer 8

Yes, keep if you can because you said, "I want to be able to."

Ask yourself: if you keep the baby, can you continue school? Who will watch the baby when you're in class? If you can't continue school, will that break your heart?
If you give the baby up, will you suffer the rest of your life because of it?

If people waited until they had enough $ to have a kid, they never would have one. For example, in the old days (1900s) people would sometimes just use a dresser drawer for a crib instead of buying a crib. It worked just fine, you put it on the floor or a table and fill it with blankets, etc. So you don't literally have to have all the baby stuff people get. If you have supportive friends & family, they will all pitch in & get you the stuff you need (baby shower). You don't have the shower until later in the pregnancy and by then you'll know if you're keeping the baby. After the shower, you'll know what you still need to buy. No. 1 is diapers.

Answer 9

you have a long time left to think about what you are going to do. buying baby stuff will only make it harder to give the baby up if that is what you decide to do.
are you ready to provide a stable home, financial support it, emotional support, physical support, and devote all of your time and energy into raising a baby for the next 18 (at least) years? by yourself?
how are you going to continue with school? who is going to watch the baby? how are you going to afford to buy thing for you and your baby if you are in school? welfare?
you say you have a supportive boyfriend... at 11 weeks you are probably no even showing yet, how is he going to be when you are huge and pregnant? and hormonal? and tired?
you need to take a realistic look at what you have to offer a child. and what are your reasons you want to keep it and give it away.
by law to get home from the hospital, you have to have a rear-facing car seat, you also need diapers, wipes, formula (unless breastfeeding), bottles, blankets and some onsies/ sleeper.
good luck on whatever you decide.
i'm not trying to be mean to you, you just need to think before you decide anything. a baby is not a puppy, you can't change your mind if it is not how you imagined. i know at 19 i was not ready to be a GOOD mom. you might be. don't count on the boyfriend, as you know, men come and go.

Answer 10

This is a decision that has to be made by you and only you. You are the one who lives with whatever choice you make. The older I get (I am 34) the more I have learned to go with my instincts or gut feelings on thing and 99.9% of the time they are right. Think long and hard and go with your gut feeling.
Adoption is a wonderful thing to give someone a child who cannot have one themselves.
And every mother regardless of age has doubts, I even felt a bit doubtful with my second at times and I was married for 8 years, they both had the same father. I am not saying it should be that way, I am simply saying even married people with older kids have doubts at times. It is a big repsonsibility at any age, but it is also very wonderful and rewarding.
Another thing I have learned is that things usually work out in the end, it may be a hard road but in the end we are ok and have made it financially (sometimes with only pennies left LOL) and are still together.