would you forgive???

Question

i used to be best friends with this girl, well she was havein trouble with her family i let her move in my house, mind you i was payin ren, i bought the food, i drove her around, it was like pullin teeth to get her to even apply for a job much less go. she worked for one day and quit. well i found out she was havin people at my place while i wasnt there..... i kicked her out, then we were friends again, then she fools around with a man i dated for almost three years we broke up early this year..... now she expects me to forgive her, do you think its wrong that i dont? how should i handle this or is life to short???

Answer 1

Please forgive her and move on. You already know what kind of person she is. You are a very compassionate person to help someone out like that. The best you can do now is to forgive and let it go. Don't ever regret what you did by helping your firend out.

Remember, we all reap what we sow. You have already shown compassion and kindness to this person. One day done the road, someone will do the same for you when you need it. That goes the same for forgiveness. You forgive your friend and when you need forgivenss, it will be given to you the same. Good luck.

Answer 2

I would tell her that Yes you can forgive her for the things that she did, but that you cannot continue to maintain a friendship at this point. She needs to really evaluate her life, do some soul searching and and make some serious life changes before she becomes self destructive.
I had a friend like that who was alcoholic, couldnt keep a job, didnt have a car, and I tried and tried to help this person until it just got to a point where no matter what I did or how hard I tried, it just came back to bite me in the butt.
You should just let her know that you will always care about her, that you hope things get better for her, wish her luck and let her be on her way. People like that can't be helped unless they want to be helped and it doesnt seem like she is ready for that yet. One day hopefully she will change her ways and then maybe you guys can try to start a new relationship.

Answer 3

Well first, you have to forgive. You can't be happy within yourself if you are carrying around bad feelings for someone else.
Second, forgive doesn't always mean that you have to be close friends with her. She took advantage of you and not just once. The first time can be a mistake, but only the first time. Respect yourself more than that!
Last, yes life is too short, so why go through it being angry or unhappy if you don't have to. Surround yourself with good things and good people. Don't bring on yourself any aggravation or negativity. Trust me! Life takes care of misfortune all on its own. You will have enough of that.
What I would do is I would be kind to her, but keep my distance also. I wouldn't want to let her get too close seeing how you know how much she thinks of you. But, don't be mean either. Remember what comes around goes around. Treat people how you would want to be treated, and when they do you wrong, then you know where they need to stand in your life.(further away!)

Answer 4

Wow, she's done a lot of stuff... I don't know how many chances you're gonna give her after all (because it's really only up to you, we can only affect your decision so much) but if she has a truly valid excuse that she's been putting off for ages to tell you about, then I say forgive her. Otherwise, just keep an eye out on her. Maybe set some ground limits for certain things... Help her out but do it in a way that you know won't hurt you. You'd kind of have to build a protective shell around you for the meantime. But I don't know how hard it will be to break or what kind of a toll it's going to have on your friendship. It's a really tough situation. Good luck

Answer 5

What is the use of forgiving when you don't really forgive? When the time comes for forgiveness then you will know, but if you are wondering if now is the time then it isn't. Don't you have any feelings/likings/ memories with your friend?Ask yourself that. If you feel like being friends again then forgive. Situations like this would only get worse by explanations. Forgiveness is they tool for repairing bridges. Explanations may speed it up or burn it down completely. She can't explain why she acts like a bum or why she takes advantage of you.

Answer 6

Yeah life is too short. I suggest you forgive and move on. It takes the pressure off of you. Let her do her and you GO BACK to doing you. You don't want to spend all your time dealing with a problem that could be fixed by 3 words ( " I forgive you"). That's not atrue friend,but it's always a good thing to forgive.

Answer 7

Ok, "Sunday school answer" forgive her.
Personally, I wouldn't. I think that once one of your "friends" crosses the line and moves in on your man whether you've broken up already or not, without your permission (if you've broken up of course) deserves all that's coming towards her.
I think you are a great friend to have let her live with you, and do all that stuff for her, someone like that just doesn't deserve that good of a friend!

Answer 8

You've been used and abused, and this girl wants you back as her friend so she can do the same thing to you again. I had a 'best friend' like that, and even though she doesn't know where we live, or have my phone number, she calls my husband at work every three or four months to 'cry' about how 'badly' I USED HER! I don't care, and neither does he ... but he's the one who has to 'listen to her' yowling, and I am 'sorry' about that. You did the right thing ... if I were you, I'd move, change my phone number, and even change my job to get rid of her. Life it 'too short' to have a 'user' like that as a friend.

Answer 9

Life is too short to waste on losers like that. If she were your friend who wishes only the best for you, she would not have disrespected your place, your life, or your man-but she did. Tell her and yourself this- I loved you, I trusted, you and you made me regret that, what are you gonna do to make that up to me? Its her place to make amends before she can expect anything from you. The best thing for you to do is offer her the chance to earn your trust again, but don't let her put a guilt trip on you and don't lose any sleep over someone who proves themselves not to be a friend. Be fair, but find closure.

Answer 10

I would just let your friendship go. She's obviously not your true friend. It sounds like she just walks all over and doesn't care about your feelings. You need to stand up for your self and stop letting her take advantage of you. You sound like a sweet girl and I wouldn't forgive her.