abortion....1 year ago, feeling guilt?

Question

i had an abortion in feb of 2006, my senior year. i was with my bf for a year but we knew we werent ready i was still in school, so at 5 wks of pregnancy i took those abortion pills n omg ill never do that again. the pain i went through still gives me the chills n see everything happening made me cry. i didnt think of it nemore n we never told neone or spoke of it to each other. but then in august i got pregnant again using birth control n had a beautiful baby bon on my 19th birthday in may!we got married n we love him n so happy. but lately i keep thinking of the past n it makes me feel so bad that i did thatbut then i thuink if i went through my son wouldnt be here n i feel better but i dont like living with that. my husband tries to forget we did that cause hes never brought it up. so i never talk to him again. y am i feeling like this. im a proud catholic n went against y beliefs, i went to confession but i dont feel forgiven, ne1 have advice/ thanks

Answer 1

Your feelings are perfectly normal. Don't let anybody tell you that you shouldn't feel the way you feel -- you can't help feeling what you feel, and it's okay to work through this place of feeling guilty and onwards. And no, you won't and shouldn't forget your first child.

Project Rachel is a Catholic post-abortion support group that can help you and your husband find a way to forgive yourselves and each other for the loss of your first baby.

Many post-abortive women find that the best thing they can do is help other women avoid abortions. Most women get abortions because they think they don't have a choice (ironic, huh?) and you can help them find real choices so that they aren't stuck with only one bad option.

May God bless you -- He is full of mercy and very forgiving. Perhaps if you did a novena for all the mothers who are struggling with unexpected pregnancies, you would feel a little more like you were making up for what happened in Feb '06?

Answer 2

You are not a bad person because you had an abortion, You need to know that honey. I hope you and your husband will be able to talk about this because it is necessary and will hopefully enable you to heal and move forward as a family. I have spoken with many women who have had abortions and every one of them regret it and carry it in their heart. It is not an easy thing to overcome. Some of them have found a crisis pregnancy center that they volunteer at, it helps them to find redemption. I will pray for you and your family. Is there anyone in your church you can talk to? You might be surprise at how many woman within your church made similar choices before they were saved.

Congratulations on your marriage and your baby, those are true blessings.

I have found a website for woman who are suffering emotional pain post abortion and I have posted the link below. There are letters and testimonials and spiritual encouragement.

May god bless you and help you find forgiveness for yourself and healing for your family.

Answer 3

Well you have asked and i will tell you i am a catholic'
love kids married young and had a daughter at 18 son at 19
divorced at 31 i am now 45 and have been divorced a long time. as far as i can tell you both did the best you could at the time. STOP the guilt it wont help it will kill you dont give in to it
I say if you think you have made a mistake and you learn about it and dont do it again well that is good.

Answer 4

I am so sorry for you pain and guilt. If there is one thing I know, though, it is that God forgives. Just look at Paul. He murdered Christians before his experience on the road to Damascus and yet he wrote most of the New Testament and became one of God's greatest men. Pray to God, ask forgiveness and He will forgive you for certain. If you don't FEEL forgiven talk to someone. Your husband would be a good choice, but if not, try to find a good Christian counselor.

Answer 5

I'm sorry you are struggling so much with your emotions, but I assure you it's not an unusual reaction.

You say you have been to confession, that's a start...but what I think you really need to focus on is forgiving yourself.

I don't know what your relationship with your priest is like, but if it were me I would consider meeting with him (outside of the confessional) and talking this through. If you don't feel comfortable talking with your priest, then perhaps a counselor would be a good option.

I also think you need to to discuss your feelings with your husband. He can be there to support you and perhaps you will find out he is struggling with similar feelings as well!

Answer 6

First of all stop beating yourself up about this. I understand you are a catholic but it is hard to say what you will not do until you are faced with the situation. Until you walk a mile in someone else's shoes no one can judge you. Remember that! Only GOD can judge you, and trust me GOD does not. GOD is the all forgiving. If you need to cleanse your soul and ease your mind...then repent. As long as you ask for forgiveness then all is forgiven. Do not let anyone tell you that you are a bad person. You are not. It is you body. It is your choice. But please learn from this choice. Always use protection. Do it for you, do not just trust the guy. Sure he says he has birth control. Then oops you are pregnant again and it is not the right time again. But please set this bag of bricks down. It is weighing you down and it is unfair to do this to yourself.
Remember GOD loves you!

Answer 7

I am sorry for your pain. We all make mistakes and do things that we wish we wouldn't have done. Unfortunately there is nothing that can be done to take them back once they're made. All that we can do is learn from the experience and move forward. Forgive yourself for making a mistake and move forward. If you have intense feelings or much difficulty doing so you can always make an appointment to speak with a counselor. Best wishes.

Answer 8

Even if I'm against abortion(sorry ) if you think you did it because you really needed to then that's you most people would feel guilty after the end. And some of those that don't are just heartless and mean to know that you don't feel no emotion for killing a beautiful human being that was suppose to be a gift from god:( May god bless you and your beautiful son have a good day:)

Answer 9

Guilt and sadness is just one of the many things that goes along with your decision. Really it will probably get better with time but in the mean time I would suggest finding someone to talk to. Sometimes (often) talking about things is healing. If you don't have an adult friend or family member to confide in maybe talk to your priest. I would however talk to your husband maybe he feels the same but doesn't want to bring it up to afraid of what might happen if he does.

Answer 10

It's normal to feel this way. You've started the healing process by going to confession. But if you don't feel forgiven, it's because you haven't forgiven yourself, not because God hasn't forgiven you. So, there is more you need to do to help yourself find peace about what you did. I suggest looking at this website: http://www.hopeafterabortion.com/ - it has testimonies from people who feel the same as you do (you're not alone) and resources for people who are grieving over a past abortion. God bless and good luck.