My husband got mad at me for buying a work shirt without telling him. The shirt wasnt even that expensive, when I brought it home along with some other items he knew I was buying he took my car, cell phone bank card and emergency credit card away. He was "nice" enough to give me the car for work and school but he is keeping my cell phone (which I need for work and my kids) and cards in his posession to teach me about being responsible. I feel this is controlling behavior but he feels its a good lesson to learn. I admit I have made past mistakes with finances but is this too far?
2007-08-29 09:51:38 · 29 answers · asked by Lovinlife915 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Marriage is a partnership it is not about either teaching the other a lesson, you are a grown women and you should be treated as such. You should be able to buy what you want, you work too, this is ridiculous with him taking anything from you. If he is doing this now, what do you think he is going to act like, as he gets older only worst my dear. You need to stand up to him.. and don't ask him.. tell him ..that you are not taking this crap anymore. You are not a child, but he is treating you like one. Everyone make mistake you are human, but do you have to pay for it the rest of your life, and I am sure you will make more mistakes. but it is not up to him to punish you. Think twice before you say I do, because he will be say to you you wont, do you need another daddy or a partner?.
2007-08-29 10:16:05 · answer #1 · answered by carmel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
RUN QUICKLY! You do not need to be taught a "lesson." Being a husband he should have talked with you concerning this and the two of you came to an agreement about puttin the credit cards away or something. You are not a kid and he has no right to treat you as such. Leave now before this controlling behavior turns deadly. Good luck.
2007-08-29 09:57:41 · answer #2 · answered by Bubbles 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Have you maxed out your credit cards before?? He is either way too controlling, or you are leaving out some significant details, some people honestly can't control their spending habits and if the husband doesn't want to break up the family, maybe he is right to do this.
2007-08-29 10:11:43 · answer #3 · answered by Billy Voltaire 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that is controlling..you may have made mistakes in the past but how are you suppose to learn unless you make them? a husband is suppose to be encouraging not "ground" you from buying a "work" shirt... it is as if he is treating you like a child...he will only continue to do these things if you let it happen...take your paycheck and purchase what you and your children may need..work together on finances instead of against one another
2007-08-29 09:59:31 · answer #4 · answered by Mindy S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is controlling. My boyfriend does the same thing. We recently got a joint bank account. But he had thought I was giving money to my kids, so he took my ATM card away. He got mad at me once before, and he took my set of car keys off my keyring. Even though it is his car, it is childish.
2007-08-29 10:01:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As soon as you get your car, cellphone card and credit card back for being a "good girl", pack up your bags, clean out half the bank account, and head for the hills.
No woman should have to put up with that crap. Why are you?
2007-08-29 09:58:07 · answer #6 · answered by grrluknow 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Could you define "I have made past mistakes with finances"? Did you bounce a check once, or did you get yourself tens of thousands of dollars into debt and were/are on the brink of bankruptcy? You don't have to get too personal, just a general idea.
2007-08-29 10:08:03 · answer #7 · answered by Liz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This constitutes some heavy counseling for HIM or maybe a nice trial separation....and um,.....WHY are you taking this from him?? Move in with a relative to avoid all of this drama.....I'm sorry but this type of behavior from your husband can only lead to other forms of abuse. Get a grip on your life NOW!! Especially since you have children!!
2007-08-29 09:57:37 · answer #8 · answered by Lovin' Life As Mama & Wife 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is it with these control freaks. Yes he has taken it way to far. In this day in age this is NOT acceptable!!! I'm not sure what my advice is, but if it were me I would take the kids and leave ASAP before it gets any worse.
2007-08-29 09:58:32 · answer #9 · answered by charm_link 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are his wife, NOT his daughter. Yes, you need to be responsible, but he has gone over the top. What he is "teaching you" is that he is the boss of your whole life, and you must obey him or suffer the consequences. You need to make up your mind if this is the kind of "partnership" you want to be in.
2007-08-29 10:11:48 · answer #10 · answered by Debbie D 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋