Believe me, i do put him 1st most of the time. I cooked, cleaned, kept myself up and attractive, did the majority of the work around the house, carried the family health insurance, etc..., and I did NOT with hold sex from him. I just didn't want it as often as he did. I have also tried all the things he has asked me to do as far as sexy clothes, etc... I was also molested by my own brother as a teenager, and I had a hysterectomy at 35, and I am on multiple meds for fibromyalgia, and thyroid problems. I don't think he takes any of this in to consideration. I just don't know anymore. My gut feeling, is that he just wants to get rid of me, and find someone new. Like he's outgrown me or something. So confused......
2007-08-29 09:32:51 · 20 answers · asked by CSmom 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you have a lot going on....Perhaps you should consider going to therapy - alone. A trained professional can help you sort out your feelings and deal with your issues.
Please remember we are not perfect...We are brought up to put others ahead and to think about others before ourselves; and that is just not healthy and not fair. You cannot give what you do not have...So I'd say please get some help and consider what you can and cannot change or do.
We all need to feel loved and accepted;and if you don't feel this way in your marriage you should consider other options.
Think about yourself, your needs and what you want out of life. If it can be done with your husband, as a team, great. But if you two cannot "tango together",then perhaps it's best to call it quits. Life is too short to waste it on being miserable and on hoping things will get better. Good luck.
2007-08-29 09:54:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I hat to be the bearer of bad news if you feel it nine times out of ten there are some signs just look for them or simply sit him down and have a talk with him. If he cannot treat you the way that you should be treated maybe you should be getting rid of him. if you are feeling unloved and unwanted that is not the way that you should be treated. You shouldn't have to compete for your husband he should love you through thick and thin good and bad. i am sure that you would do that for him. Talk to him he will tell you how he feels indirectly or directly sometime you have to read between the lines if he is not man enought to come out and tell you how he feels. Dont wonder talk to him he will tell you everything that you need to know.
2007-08-29 09:38:58 · answer #2 · answered by Lady L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel the same way. Do you talk about it? Tell him how to feel and be honest. Write it all down and give it to him. I think that all couple have the problem sometime in their marriage. I find that as couple you either grow apart or together in life and it may not be a person fault.
Good luck.
2007-08-29 09:39:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes we hold onto things in hope that it changes, soetimes we make excuses for men's behavior, and sometimes we just don't know how to stand up for what makes us happy. It sounds like to me that you need to sit down face to face and let your husband know how you are feeling, if he tells you that he doesn't care or doesn't show that he wasnts to make it better, tell him that you are going to have to leave. You deserve to be happy and you should never let anyone take that away, and don't ever be scared to be alone. Lonely is a better feeling than hurt and pain. Good luck sweetie!
2007-08-29 09:41:27 · answer #4 · answered by greeneyes2kus 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh God, I'm sorry to hear about all that,
listen....
Life is tough and we as women have to be tough, my husband was my world until he turned out to be a liar and you know what, life went on for the rest of the world dear....
Please just have a sit down and talk to him, be clear about your feelings and read his responses, his posture, you CAN tell if he's lying...MORE importantly, start doing things for YOURSELF, I started learning how to drive and I'm 31!!! But it feels good, even after my fender bender I still am on the road. Little things for yourself first and then we as women won't be so concerned with "why our husbands don't love us anymore" LOVE YOURSELF FIRST, THAT is the most attractive thing...
2007-08-29 09:39:01 · answer #5 · answered by Hope 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he has "outgrown" you, then nothing you can say or do is going to change that fact. You deserve to be happy and be with someone who wants to be with you. It's quite possible he is going through a mid-life crisis and he isn't sure what/who he wants.
Why not talk with him about it and see if you can figure out exactly what is going on? Until you know what is going on in his mind, you will continue to guess and jump to conclusion.
2007-08-29 09:37:45 · answer #6 · answered by endo_chic 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
CVommensence mom , sweety was he at your wedding ? Did he take the vows ? You two became one flesh so your health problems should be his health problems ! You deserve a better. The guy does not deserve any women. Hon the only problem you have is not being married to a gentleman !
2007-08-29 10:24:17 · answer #7 · answered by lonewolf 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im so sorry to hear about your situation, i couldent imagine my husband being that way, im used to not ever even being fussed at, so if hes treating you like that maby you need some time away from him its not your fault its something to do with him, some guys just act like jerks, maby you could get him to go to counceling, but if he wants to leave or theres someone else no matter how many sexy clothes or anything else you do hes gonna do what he wants, some guys like a chase maby you need to try that method on him, get out and do things and dont be there for him so much maby he will see whats hes gonna loose anyway i hope it works out for you, God bless you....
2007-08-29 09:41:53 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your meds can be playing around with your sex drive also, l think we all go through a stage where one wants it more than the other, has he said anything to make you think this? or is this all based on gut feeling?, sex is not the basis of a relationship, its the icing on the cake, try talking to him about your issues, start going on dates again and spending quality time together, good luck
2007-08-29 09:41:52 · answer #9 · answered by t.s 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps he did... but, you know, sweetie... he may have outgrown u but there is someone else out here looking for YOU. You can believe me, or not... but you have to end your relationship on all levels with him and just cut him off. You won't ever be happy again playing with your husband. Set yourself up for the opportunity to find love again... it'll come. I promise. :)
2007-08-29 09:42:54 · answer #10 · answered by Buttafli 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋