One day my husband went to the photo studio to develop photos from film he's had for nealy a decade. He returned with a strong desire to take kinky shots of us intimately. I found that fun and exciting and we had a blast.
The next day he asked me to get something out of his pocket book, and as I did so, I found a contact strip of he and his ex adn I'll just say, VERY pornographic. I felt ill and traumatized and obviously I am having a hard time getting over it. The worst part to me is the lying. He told me that he kept them there because he didn't want to throw them away where a small child might find them. He should of thought about putting them in a place where I would never find them, because I can't get over that horrible image in my head!
2007-08-29 08:08:58 · 49 answers · asked by gelfling 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Of course he wasn't a virgin when he met me, I certainly don't expect him to throw a way his past. I don't even really mind that he has the photos, It was traumatizing to have seen them so unexpectedly. I certainly wouldn't want naked pictures of me exposed to my exboyfriend's wife ot worse yet... But thanks for all the diverse responses!
2007-08-29 09:14:00 · update #1
9 times out of 10 he kept it to show his friends rather than showing them a kinky photo of his own wife. Although his response to the whole thing makes no sense to me, he should have burned them or destroyed them in front of you. You have the right to feel disgusted, afterall, what person wants to see their spouse in a pornographic position with the opposite sex? He should be doing all he can to make it up to you or to show you that he truly had no interest in the photos. If he can't, then you should be worried.
2007-08-29 08:18:36 · answer #1 · answered by wrtrchk 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-06 00:17:57 · answer #2 · answered by Lillie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's tough, but in these days of identity theft, it's not hard to come by a shredder, or last time I checked, most people have matches and flamable liquids around the house. It would be easy to dispose of this without the risk of a child finding it.
As for what's going on, remember, it's been a decade ago...I don't know how long you've been married, but we all have pasts. As for taking pictures with him, it probably did stir up some ideas when he found these pictures, and that may or may not be right, but at least he wanted to see you like this, as opposed to just keeping these other pictures only.
I think you guys need to sit down and talk about it, that's for sure, let him know how you feel, just make sure you're not attacking him regarding it, that won't help.
2007-08-29 08:17:54 · answer #3 · answered by gorstev 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow that would suck so bad. I feel for you. I can imagine the what emotions you are going through right now but when it comes to him wanting to take pictures of you like that after he found the ones of her I think thats a good thing. It means though he saw another girl naked it made him think of you and want to do it with you his wife. And just think about this he had the camera forever so obviously she wasn't that important for him to want to see right away when the did that. But he should have thrown them away. That would be the part that would have botherd me the most. Talk to him and tell him how it made you feel. Communication is very important. I hope everything turns out well for you!!
2007-08-29 08:22:42 · answer #4 · answered by Kimberzzz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, a few things.
1) Your husband has had sex before you. Sorry you had to see it, but it's a fact of life.
2) I agree with you that he should have thrown them away, period.
3) He asked you to take erotic photos of the two of you together, right? That's a good sign. He was turned on by the image of himself involved in sexual acts, not by the sight of his ex!
My advice: Burn those old pics and set up the tripod! You are going to have to get over the images you saw. Only way to do that (and him to forget them as well) as to make your own. Have fun!
2007-08-29 08:43:58 · answer #5 · answered by meagain 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to keep in mind that, as you say, those pictures are OLD. Disregard the excuse, you cornered him, and, I bet weren't all that nice about it.
Ask him to get rid of them for you, and let him know the pictures make you uncomfortable......no one wants to see their husband or wife in photos like that.
Don't beat the poor guy up about it, every once in a while we all like to take a stroll down memory lane, he just happened to have pictures of the trip! I'm sure that at some time during your marriage, you've thought about an ex lover....we all do it from time to time.....difference here is just the pictures.
It isn't YOUR job to get rid of them, it's his. Be straight, understanding, remember that he's the same man you were married to BEFORE you saw the pictures and is probably embarrassed as all get out, and ask him to throw them away, or shred them for YOUR happiness. I'm sure he will.
Good luck!
2007-08-29 08:28:32 · answer #6 · answered by wentfishing2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to get rid of them...There is absolutely no reason to still have pics like that of an ex. So you found the negs, now the real question is...where are the pictures?
I would just destroy them, and let it go. It could be that wanting to take pics with you is a way of saying he liked that experience of doing something risky, not that he liked who it was with (back then!)
2007-08-29 08:17:36 · answer #7 · answered by kansasfarmergirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry that you had to see that. You have two choices. Forget about it and move on or make a bigger issue out of it and demand he get rid of it. I still have pictures of my x, nothing like what you found just family photos. But I keep them in a seperate book from our current photos. If you are worried he may still have a thing for his x, you need to ask him about it. Never be afraid to ask what you want to know. best of luck!
2007-08-29 08:17:20 · answer #8 · answered by Candace C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok....there is humor here...all Anthony could think about was the fact that you husband had a pocket book. That made me laugh. However, this isn't funny. I would be very upset, I hope I never see a picture of my husband with another woman like that. I would strongly tell him that you are feeling this way....did I mention strongly? That had to be painful for you. This world is full of insanity, I hate it when it finds its way into my home..... He owes you many hugs. Good luck.
2007-08-29 08:37:56 · answer #9 · answered by Rein 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
K - this happened to me but, tables turned. The pics were of my ex hubby and I and the new boyfriend found em.... I had forgotten about them. I know it's hard to think about and now have physical proof of you hubby's previous sex life, but didn't you have one too? If you still have the pics, burn em. After the anger - maybe a few days - think about this... He obviously enjoyed taking the original pics and now he has enjoyed it with you. I would be honored that he thought of me as wild and exciting as an old fling cause after some years in marriages thing fizzle out. BUT NOT YOURS! He still sees you as hot. Be confident in you relationship and take more pics. Maybe have some sexy professional pics done for a Birthday present for him. Don't get mad, get saucey-er!!!
2007-08-29 08:28:02 · answer #10 · answered by hnfs73 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋