Today she told me that she's leaving me.?

Question

This morning my wife, of just under eleven years, told me that she's leaving me today. She's taking the kids and going back home to her dad's.
My question, regarding this matter, is why does it not bother me? When she told me, I almost felt as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Am I over her, or do I just not realize what's happened yet?

Answer 1

It will hurt like hell after she's taken you through divorce court and poisoned your own children against you. It's what 92% of American women do, and there's not a thing you can do about it.

Divorce - the process of ripping out a man's genitals through his wallet.

This is why men in America should no longer marry.

The ugly truth is that more than 67% of marriages will end in divorce. 92% of the time it will be initiated by the woman for no other reason than she is “unfulfilled” – oh, and because she gets the kids, the house, at least ½ the assets and most of his future after tax income for the next 18 years. The man will get raked over in family court. He will lose the house. He will see his kids 2 out of 14 days (if the ex doesn't level unsubstantiated "abuse" claims.) He will be forced to hand over 40-50% of his take-home pay. If he loses his job due to illness or downsizing, the State will toss him in jail. While jailed the arrearage will grow and the state will charge interest. The State will revoke his driver's and professional licenses, make him virtually unemployable.

If you were to take up sky-diving, and the instructor informed you that 67% of the parachutes were defective, would you take the plunge?

The men’s Marriage Strike is alive and well, thank you.

nomarriage.com

Answer 2

You're a little shocked, maybe, but it sounds like she did something that needed to happen (for both of you). Breaking up isn't the worst thing in the world -- being in a dead relationship is.

That weight-off-your-shoulders thing is real. There will be a few issues here and there (for about a year) that'll smack you in the *** when you're not looking, but you're not required to be traumatized or anything by this.

Take your time, and by all means keep this "positive" attitude while you work through custody/divorce issues, but you seem to intuitively grasp the big picture (i.e., that you just may be happier unwed) so be glad that you're already on your way.

Answer 3

I think there must be some relief for you. Often couples are in unhappy marriages for years, but neither spouse says a word. They just co-exist. Maybe you finally feel free to live the life you wanted, to stop pretending.
i do think there will come a time when you are sad. Maybe not about the marriage not working out, but the fact that you won't be able to see your children everyday. that will most likely be the hardest transition.
Try to make the divorce as civil as possible, realizing you are both going to be happier people as a result of it, and that maintaining and amicable relationship with your soon to be ex, is best for your kids.
Good luck and ENJOY!

Answer 4

it may take a few days to kick in when you dont hear the kids running around, and when the house is quiet. or maybe you feel this way cuz you saw it comming. or because it was long awaited. your marriage had probably been sour for a while and you probably didnt want to be the one to leave so now that she did you feel lighter, like weight has been lifted. i hope everything works out for you. good luck, and im so sorry. hope i could be of some help to you.

Answer 5

You don't care what happens to her or the kids. That's why she is leaving because over the years you let her know that you didn't care. I'm sorry that your kids have to go through all the pain that a divorce brings on them. If you couldn't be a good husband at least try to be a good dad, because the kids deserve it. You brought them in to this world, so finish your job.

Answer 6

It could be something you have been expecting. If both of you have been having a rough time, sometimes you get to the point where the weigh is lifted off and you sigh "finally". Hopefully this is it and it is not that it has not hit you. At this point you are at a better place emotional than you would be if it has not hit you. I hope things go well for you. GOOD LUCK!!!!

Answer 7

I think there is a sense of relief when a bad relationship beaks up. Men really don't like to be the ones to walk first. If she leaves you, it is easier to be "the victim" to all your mutual friends and she's the one who gave up. Not that I think your being selfish, but it's true. Also, you have alot of emotions to go through yet (anger, bitterness, jealousy, and loneliness) so don't sink too deep when they come. IT JUST DIDN"T WORK OUT!! Stay as nice to each other as possible, cause you have kids together and you used to have SOMETHING!

Answer 8

Either your feelings for her have diminished (if there ever were) or it hasn't hit you yet. It will when you go home and nobody is there, not her or the kids. Maybe not the first day but in a few days it will hit and you'll definitely feel it then. When it does let me know if I can do anything to help.

Answer 9

This is a complex question.

Charles Dickens once said "Life is full of meetings and partings, and that is the way of it."

Perhaps you feel this way because you know in your heart that your relationship is over, but the important thing is moving beyond your relationship with her and focusing on working together to do what is best for your children.

Answer 10

Obviously the marriage wasn't working, she is leaving. It has probably been so bad and stressful for so long you are just feeling relief that its over.

You will start to feel lonely in a few days, but if just remember the relief you felt knowing you don't have to deal with it anymore you will be fine.