Say you know of an individual who states he is heterosexual but you have a sense that perhaps he is homosexual.... is there sure way to get a true idea if the person is in denial?
2007-08-29 07:39:04 · 28 answers · asked by lilys.petal 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
This question clearly opened a can of worms! In response to a few questions posed by fellow "Answerers.."
1. The person I am questioning is a friend of mine.. an extremely good friend who I care deeply about. In fact, he's my boyfriend! I would have never posed such a question but the other day he was sitting and his hand did this strange movement... like a "limp-wrist" movement someone below described. Yes, anyone can do this, but it has me questioning as another situation arose- he states one of his male colleagues calls him a "******"- and yet still wants to hang out with him and he reciprocates! Personally, I despise the term ******, like the N word, I think it is beyond derogatory.. Another element to this story- he is Catholic and I am his first girlfriend..... This question was not designed to "hate" on any individual for their sexual preferences- as long as you are happy this is all that should matter....
2007-08-29 13:35:29 · update #1
The surefire sign is when he opens up his mouth and forms the words "I'm gay."
Anything else is strictly guesswork.
2007-08-29 07:42:02 · answer #1 · answered by Acorn 7 · 14⤊ 0⤋
What you MUST remember is that just because someone is camp does not mean that they are gay. In the same way that some gay men act 'straight' some straight men may act camp, but this is no indication of their true sexual orientation. Generally in terms of personality and the way a person acts, one cannot make a 100% positive decision about their sexuality. I think you just need to trust the fact that he loves you, and if he was gay and wanted to start a relationship with a man then he would end the one he currently has with you. If you feel you have a trusting relationship with this guy then I think you should lay your thoughts on this matter to rest and be confident in the fact that if he had something to tell you, he would, for himself if not for you. Ultimately the only time you can tell if someone is gay is if they tell you, however I would not recommend asking your boyfriend in this situation.
2007-08-30 15:02:58 · answer #2 · answered by Joe F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See if he wants you to strap one on and run it in him! Of course that still doesn't mean he is gay. I think a real gay person will want to spend time and have a relationship with another man. There would be feelings. Not everyone who gets a hummer or has dirty perverted sex with another man is "Gay". He may be practicing some homosexual acts from time to time, but some people will just take sex no matter who it's from just as long as they don't have do it for themselves. Being gay is a sexual orientation that compells a person to be attracted to the same sex in every way. It's not all about the sex act. Gay people get romantically involved. They hang out. They get jealous. They kiss each other good bye in the morning, just like the rest of us. I don't think he would be romantically interested in you if he were truly gay.
2007-08-29 14:45:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
There are no "signs." Being gay or straight is only about who you are physically and emotionally attracted to, which only the person himself would know. If the person is in doubt, one test is, who do they notice first when they walk into a room full of people, the gals or the guys? When a couple walks up to them on the street, who do they check out first, the guy or the gal? There is so much pressure to "behave straight" that many people are just oblivious to their true sexual nature. But how one acts or dresses has little or nothing to do with what's going on inside.
2007-08-30 16:22:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing new in people questioning their sexuality or that of their friends. However the mistake we make is jumping to quick fix conclusions and assumptions. For example, I have feelings toward the same sex, that makes me gay and all the connotations that go with that label. Sexuality is very rarely that straightforward or simple. The best thing I can advise you is to let that person feel comfortable around you, so there is a bond of trust so that person doesn't feel that you are digging up dirt on them and are actually interested in who they are as an individual. If someone is in denial, first of all how do you know that? Second in denial of what exactly? Your assumption of their sexuality? A person's sexuality is something that is very personal to them and it is not fair of any us to make assumptions or look for signs as if we are playing some sort of game of 'outing the gay.' Let people be the people they want to be without us making assumptions or trying to put them into a box of our own prejudices and assumptions!
2007-08-29 15:54:11 · answer #5 · answered by waggy 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I have been surprized a few times by people who have turned out to be gay/straight but normally I am right, even if it has taken a few years for them to work it out for themselves. Saying that though who cares, its no one elses business and as long as you help and support your friend either way then nothing else matters! In my experiance though, the only type of guy you can be sure is gay is the mixed up homophobe that goes around doing everything to prove he is straight, just so that he can supress it further and cause himself even more hurt and distruction!
2007-08-29 17:00:49 · answer #6 · answered by Rafael 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sure - if he out and out TELLS you he's gay. Otherwise, you'd have to catch him in a homosexual act - and be darn sure you aren't misinterpreting a standard greeting between men belonging to cultures wherein a kiss on the cheek is expected and accepted and does NOT indicate either man is "quare"...
2007-08-29 14:45:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only way to be sure is to ask that person - only they know for sure. If they say no, it might just be that they haven't come to terms with it yet - or it might mean NO!
2007-08-29 14:43:56 · answer #8 · answered by Fluffy 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Some gay people will put out 'signs' that they are gay but if they don't then there is no way you can tell if someone is gay anymore than you can spot 'signs' that someone is straight.
2007-08-29 14:57:03 · answer #9 · answered by Bunny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are ignorant enough anything can be a sign of Gayness.
Some people decide you are just because they dont like you.
there is only one true test for gayness. does he/she engage in sex with same gender
yes = gay
no = not gay
simple enough
2007-09-02 01:47:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
To me, the only way you can know for sure is if the say flat out: "im gay.".
Anything else is just stereotypical.
2007-08-29 15:36:41 · answer #11 · answered by Agent 007 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋