Getting MARRIED YOUNG?! Good/Bad/or My choice?

Question

So I'm 22yrsold, sophmore in college, and I want to get married. I don't know what it is...(well I do know what it is, I'm sick of dating) , but I want to get married. I don't care what anyone else thinks, I want to start my family life young. I've always wanted to get married and start a family young, my parents both did, and it's just in my blood. Family is the most important thing to me in life. Everyone I have talked to, however, says that I'm really young to get married. I do not think 22 is young, and even so, I don't have a set date/year/or even a man! The thing is, and how I see it, is that I'm NOT going to pass up a good opportunity with someone I truly connect with and view as my soulmate, despite what my age is and what others view as acceptable. I dictate my own life! I'm not shopping for a husband, but I'm not dating casually either. I want something longterm, stable, and something I can build upon, and if it leads to marriage then great, even better.

I have my mind made up, I know what I want. Why do others seem to want to criticize and make my point of view negative?? Is getting married young really that bad? Other people seem to be so unhappy to me and I don't want to be like them. I do NOT want to pass up a guy that makes me happy, and that deep down, I know I WANT to be with for the rest of my life. I have broken up with guys in my past because of what others think, and what they view as right for me. I KNOW what is BEST for ME, and only I KNOW WHAT IS BEST FOR ME, no one else. So...my question is...what is your position on young marriages and my point of view? Am I just plain crazy for wanting these things? Any input is greatly appreciated!

Also, again, I don't even have a boyfriend at the moment, let alone anyone I am serious with! So, I don't necessarily mean getting married at 22. I'm thinking 22-24yrs of age.

*Also, when I said that everyone seems unhappy to me, I mean my friends/coworkers and people I talk with who seem to be endlessly dating until they're sick and confused. They go through men/women like they're changing their underwear, they cheat, they lie, and everything is game, and then they wonder why they're always alone and can never find the right person. I don't want to be LIKE THAT and unhappy and never satisfied because society says be a serial dater and use/abuse people before you find THE ONE for you ....which should be sometime in your late 30's!

*I think I do want to get married for the right reasons. I think marriage is a very important thing to society/families/children/and just the welfare of people in general, and people seem to want to demeen it constantly. I don't understand why.

Okay...let me fess up...technically I don't "have a man" but I've been "seeing" someone for over a year now. I really genuinely like this guy/borderline love this guy, I could see myself spending the rest of my life with him. He will not , however, label our relationship, that is why I state I do not have a man. He is younger than me, and like someone who answered already, he is afraid of committment and is does not want anything to do with "taking away his freedom". It bothers me, but I don't know what to do. I can't force him to do anything, I simply accept him for who/what he is and does.

Heads up to *Call Me* I obviously don't live off of what other people say because I've just stated in this NOVEL that i've practically written here, that everyone is against young marriage that I've spoken to. I still choose to go about life on my own path. Have you read anything I've written?! Perhaps you should, before you just throw you'r negative two sense in. Thanks :)

Answer 1

You're right. You're old enough to make your own decisions. I was engaged at 24 and I had been dating my husband since I was 14. So even though I was young, I made my own decisions as to when and where. I am battling the baby situation. I want one now and my family thinks I should wait until I go back and finish my graduate education. So you see, even at 27 I am fighting the good fight. You are always going to have those that try to stop you from doing what you feel is right. I believe that if you make a mistake on the marriage thing, at least you found out. I like the trial by error method. Good Luck

Answer 2

sweet and simple... if you get married now, you will just be contributing to the divorce rate 10 years from now.
for one, your just getting married because everyone else is - which is sad. second, your point of view on life changes every 5-6 years. I mean, do you see things the same way when you were 14 or 15? You will mature and 'grow' in another 10 years and look back and realize how little you knew about the world and that there is so much to learn. I'm 23 years old, and I know I'm not mature enough to get married, nor would a girl around my age be either. I graduated from a university, have a well paying job, have a girlfriend of 3 years but I still feel I'm not ready. I just know it will just be a decision I truly don't want, and I don't live off of other people's 'ways'.

Answer 3

Ok, there are several pros and cons to this and I'm going to write all my opinions so this might be long. There are several pros to getting married young. First off, if you have children (and this is the biggest one), you have much more patience with them than when you are older. I had my first child at 30, the second at 34. I had very little patience with them but if I had been younger, I know I would have had more. There are also alot of cons to getting married young. First off, if you are in that "I want to get married now!" mode, you will be marrying for all the wrong reasons and your marriage will ultimately fail whether you are young or old. Being older and getting married allows you to finish college, start a career and build a nest egg. This is very important these days because things are so expensive, and with divorce always looming on the horizon, it is very important to have your own money saved. Alot of men do not want to get married that young. They feel it ends their freedom. You don't want to end up with someone like that either. I'm not saying they are any better when they are older. Some men never grow up. But you stand a better chance of finding a more grounded man if you wait until at least your late 20's. Don't be in a rush. Marriage is alot more than the pretty white gown and the big party. I found that out the hard way in my first marriage. I wanted so badly to be married because everyone else around me was getting married. I married a guy who I really didn't love. He was unemployed and I still didn't care. I gave up all my principals just for the same of "being married" and I wasn't young...I was 29. I got pregnant on my honeymoon and found out very soon into the marriage that he was a mental and phyical abuser. I stayed in it for 6 years and 2 children later. Marriage is alot of work. Never rush something like that. When the right man comes along, you will know it...but don't ever push it. It's not all it's cracked up to be. Enjoy being young...it goes by very fast.

Answer 4

Of course you can get married. You have nothing to risk, and everything to gain. However, it's your boyfriend who should not marry. It no longer makes sense for men in America to marry. Period.

The ugly truth is that more than 67% of marriages will end in divorce. 92% of the time it will be initiated by the woman for no other reason than she is “unfulfilled” – oh, and because she gets the kids, the house, at least ½ the assets and most of his future after tax income for the next 18 years. The man will get raked over in family court. He will lose the house. He will see his kids 2 out of 14 days (if the ex doesn't level unsubstantiated "abuse" claims.) He will be forced to hand over 40-50% of his take-home pay. If he loses his job due to illness or downsizing, the State will toss him in jail. While jailed the arrearage will grow and the state will charge interest. The State will revoke his driver's and professional licenses, make him virtually unemployable.

If you were to take up sky-diving, and the instructor informed you that 67% of the parachutes were defective, would you take the plunge?

The men’s Marriage Strike is alive and well, thank you.

nomarriage.com

Answer 5

I am 20 and my husband is 22. We just got married about a week ago and I don't think we're too young. I think it depends on the couple and the situation.

In your case though, you don't want to get married for the right reasons... You don't even have a boyfriend! Don't rush or push getting married so early because you'll be making a mistake. When you meet the guy that you sincerely love and want to spend THE REST OF YOUR LIFE with, then start thinking about getting married.

I don't think people stop and think about how serious getting married really is... How permanent it's supposed to be. You should take your time and find a guy that you know you'd want to wake up next to everyday until the day you die.

Answer 6

Uh, yeah, listen up!
You have the option right now. Either
A: Get married and be commited forEVER
B: Live life the way you wanna live it. Free of children and spouse to ask where you going, where you going, where you going?
I know that you don't realize it yet but there is a whole world out there for you to take over.

Think about it. This is very (marriage) serious. Its not a game.

Answer 7

Getting married yound is one thing, but you stated that you dont even have a man. Why would you just marry someone why not wait till you have been with someone and fall in love and then get married. There is nothing wrong with it if your ready but it sounds like you just want someone there. Find a friend to hang out with instead of jumping into marriage.

Answer 8

22 is young but it's not as young as I thought you were going to say. I thought you were going to be 17 or something. Anyway, as long as YOU'VE MET THE RIGHT PERSON TO SPEND YOUR LIFE WITH, then getting married is perfectly fine.

I met my husband when I was 25, he was 32 and when we got married I was 27, he was 35 so everybody finds love at different ages.

Answer 9

Bad idea!

The divorce rate in America is 75% and rising. One of the major contributors to that is adultery. One of the main causes of adultery is getting married too young and not exploring with a variety of lovers before hand. Later in the marriage, one or both of the spouses begin to wonder "what is it like with them?" and so they cheat. Then there is divorce and feelings of inadequacy, etc, etc, etc.

Stay single until you finish college, have a career, and buy a house!

Answer 10

well if this is what you want to do then by all means do it....
I thought this way too and had a son at 17 married at 18 now going through a nasty divorce with my sons father just wish i would have waited on the marriage part, my son was 8 months old before we married legally.