ivn just decided to get a divorce?

Question

im only 21 and been married a year and a half...im very unhappy and just decided to get a divorce. my husband knows and understands that i am very unhappy and need to leave. i want to leave but i feel very upset now what am i supposed to do. i think i really just need some support

Answer 1

Maybe you should try a seperation first. If he really understands then he sounds like a good guy. Maybe you need some time and space to figure out why you are unhappy and then go from there.

Answer 2

Divorce should be the last resort to any marriage that can be fixed. Look at what is really making you so unhappy, not only in your marriage, but what makes u unhappy about yourself. about who you are. A lot of people go into marriage with so many expectations. When they are not met, then they are unhappy. Don't go into any relationship with expectations. You are young and u guys have so much growing to do. U think u know him and then there is something new that u never knew about. Take it one day at a time and put God first in your marriage. Prayer changes things. Look in your heart and see what will make u happy with him and not be against him. You are together for a reason. God Bless.

Answer 3

Well of course you do. Women spell support "money". "All of it." Only proving that men in America should not marry.

The ugly truth is that more than 67% of marriages will end in divorce. 92% of the time it will be initiated by the woman for no other reason than she is “unfulfilled” – oh, and because she gets the kids, the house, at least ½ the assets and most of his future after tax income for the next 18 years. The man will get raked over in family court. He will lose the house. He will see his kids 2 out of 14 days (if the ex doesn't level unsubstantiated "abuse" claims.) He will be forced to hand over 40-50% of his take-home pay. If he loses his job due to illness or downsizing, the State will toss him in jail. While jailed the arrearage will grow and the state will charge interest. The State will revoke his driver's and professional licenses, make him virtually unemployable.

If you were to take up sky-diving, and the instructor informed you that 67% of the parachutes were defective, would you take the plunge?

The men’s Marriage Strike is alive and well, thank you.

nomarriage.com

Answer 4

I stayed way too long and it just got worse. I know how you feel I didn't know what to do b/c ending your marriage is upseting. The thing that got me out was that he hit me and I still would have stayed but I told 1 person and then I told another and after you tell people it was easy to get out I left the night he hit me and never went back except to get my stuff. It was the hardest thing I ever did. I had the divorse papers for 6 months before I left and if he didn't hit me that night I might still be with him. People told me I would be happier but I wasnt' sure and I just wasnt' sure I wanted to break my vows. But I'm telling you that I have never been happier than I am right now. My divorse is final on Sept 4th and I have met a new guy who treats me like I didn't know I could be treated. I was almost suicidal when I left and now I'm just so happy. If you need support, send me a message this is not going to be easy but you can do it and you will both be better for it. Good luck honey.

Answer 5

In most marriages months 1-6 are pretty good. Months 6-18 are usually a different story.

To paraphrase Lady MacBeth "Twould be done, twould best be done quickly."

If you both are sure that this is the way to go don't waste a lot of time agonizing over it. You're only 21. Might be worthwhile to make sure you know why you are unhappy in this marriage. I'm sure you don't want to travel this road again.

Answer 6

Divorce is a loss...its natural to feel depression about it, even if you are the one that wants it. You'll experience a multitude of negative feelings. But just remember, so long as you gave everything that you could to your marriage and that you really tried and divorce still felt like the only way to happiness then it isn't wrong. What is best for everyone in the long run may hurt in the present.

Answer 7

21 is extremely young for marriage...you can't expect to have a mature relationship if the people involved are not mature themselves to handle it. Most people can not maintain a healthy relationship until they are in their 30's or 40's. It just takes a lot of life experience to deal with. Your young and if your hubby understands that..count yourself lucky you are no in a knuckle drag down fight for a divorce.

BTW: I was in your shoes....15 years later we both grew up and are now back together...It doesn't mean its the end..it just means you need to put yourself first for awhile. A divorce doesn't have to be a negative or bad thing.

Answer 8

ok, so ur unhappy and u want out.

i truly understand, but really have you thuoght about that maybe that ur just depressed? i mean i would understand and try to give u advice, but u dont really mention, not loveing him at all in ur column.

u got married for a reason, and im thinking that reason was love, you dont love him anymore.

i think that u just have depression. it has nothing to do with u being married, its just these things happen, when divorce papers are served theres no turning back.

Answer 9

S.D. had great advice with suggesting a trial seperation. See what it's like not to be with your husband. I don't know how much time you should give it....I would say at least ninety days, though. After that you can decide whether you are happier apart, or if you want to give your marriage another try.

Good luck to you!

Answer 10

OK...Ive been married 13 years,and one thing i have learned is not,to throw the word divorce around.i was married when i was 19....marriage is hard,very....people fight..we probably fought 10 out of 12 years,but I'm still married and Ive cried,and hurt just like I'm sure he did...but we stuck it out,not because it wasn't harder than hell,but because we realized it does not have to end up in divorce.it takes,patience,trust,forgiveness,and compromise to make your marriage last,and no one said it had to be easy while you do it....Good luck!!