Why do some women like to date married men?

Question

My best friend is involved in her 2nd relationship with a married man. She was with the first one for about 3 years and finally realized that he wasn't going to leave his wife for her. (of course the entire time I'm telling her that he wouldn't leave his wife either) Now she is involved with another married man who, like the first, has children. They have been involved for about a year, and from what I can see, this guy is doing the same things that the first guy did. I know that there are a bunch of women out there who choose to date men that they know are married. Why?

I have asked her why. She refuses to give me a straight answer. She usually just says something like, "you can't help who you love"

Answer 1

This should be a psychology question because most of the people here are married and are just going to tell you these people are dirty w*ores who deserve to die.

In all seriousness I think it's because of the thrill. Have you ever watched TV/movies? It makes affairs exciting and dangerous. It makes them seem romantic and all about the fun. TV/movies does not show you the dirty side of it; the families it destroys or how "the other woman" feels after committing the act. TV/movies sorta idolizes these "escapades". Society sees this and then goes and tries it out because it looks so romantic. It's an adventure. Something dangerous and sneaky to do and of course it feels good at first but the later consequences are dire.

Also there are those girls who just don't see the value in themselves and run into any man's arms that will have them married or not. Those poor girls are a completely different psychological explanation.

Now don't get me wrong I'm not condoning these actions I'm simply trying to provide some type of explanation for the influx of affairs. I believe everything in life is a choice and being with a married man is one of them.

Answer 2

With a married man, there is none of the game-playing. Both of you know you can talk, banter, even flirt, and the relationship will remain as it is. So the comfort level is greater with a guy who is clearly off-limits. There is no real possibility of risking involvement, rejection and all those complicated things that come with a relationship. (Of course, married men sometimes do cross the line and enter into affairs or emotional affairs. Also, to some women, a married man can seem more interesting and desirable. This is because somebody else wanted him — which makes it seem he must be worth talking to.

Bottom Line: Women are often more at ease talking to men who are married. This is largely because, once the men are off the market, they are “safe.”

Answer 3

Do we have the same friend (lol)? A friend of mine is on her 2nd relationship as well with a married man and her reason is she enjoys the company & sex. I tried to tell her that he really is no company because he can see her certain times and they cannot be seen in public. I don't know about your friend but I think women who constantly seek relationships with married men have self esteem issues. These women normally feels like they can't do any better and will settle for anything. As for my friend, she enjoys drama. I say that because the 1st married man she was involved with left her "high and dry" and she constantly cried and wanted everyone to feel sorry for her. I couldn't feel sorry for her because she knew what she was getting herself into. Now she is "head over heels" with this man and I am waiting to see what will happen. My answer is these women have self esteem issues and feel like they can't do any better especially if they go from one married man to another.

*Karma is a ____. What goes around comes around.

Answer 4

Since your friend does this, why not ask her? Is it because there are no strings? Is there a thrill or some sense of satisfaction in luring a man to cheat? Is it because she doesn't feel any single man would want her so she goes for guys who don't have a lot of time to spend with her and thus cannot really get to know her?

The reasons will vary...but she's building up some ugly karma for herself, not to mention by participating in cheating, she's okayed it to be done to her (that's pretty stupid...who really wants to be cheated on?).

What goes around, comes around...your friend will need you to be there to pick up the pieces when it comes around on her.

Answer 5

Most women who date married men are looking for a relationship with guarantees. Married men will most likely do what ever his mistress desires because he has too much to lose if she reveals her existence. "except leave his comfort zone"(his wife) So most women are looking to get all they can from him. Providing forbidden sex and a safe haven when his home is in chaos. It is a very beneficial position, however, it leaves room for a lot of lonely nights.

Answer 6

I think your best friend unconsciously goes after married men because she doesn't respect herself and has low self esteem. Also, she may be getting involved with a married man to avoid the expectations that a marriage brings.

Answer 7

She needs to realize that a lot if married men are just using her. Most married men still love they wives but they want to have a little fun, when they find a women who is willing to be with them even if they are married they take advantage of that. Tell your friend if she wants to have a serious relatioship she should date single men.

Answer 8

Cause they are dirty home wreckers who need to go get their own freakying man. They think the men would leave their wives but they never do. Thery're jsut a piece of a** and they fail to realize that.They usally stop when the wife catches them and woops their a** though.

Answer 9

It's wrong for the friend but the man too. I mean, he has a wife who loves him and is thinking he's hers... that's jacked up. And, I'm not going to knock the friend only, that man is a pig! How can he go home to his wife and make love to her? It's crazy.

Answer 10

i think because some women are selfish and self centered...
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they don't realize that their actions are not just affecting them and their man, it is also affecting and hurting the wife and the children.

i think that it might have to do with their self esteem... because any woman that thinks good about herself would never settle for being the mistress and getting sloppy seconds. all women deserve a man that loves them and just them! not a man, that is so selfish that only cares about his feelings and not the wife or the children.

if he cheated on her with you, he will also cheat on you with her.... or anyone else. it's called life. you reap what you sow!