I mliving with someone for yr now & he seems to be a million miles away lately. I am a mom of 2 and have also taken on his 2 boys & recently agreed they could move in with us 2. I am the "good girl" home everynight do the house, dinner, take care of everybody thing & consider myself a very attractive person. I cater to him as much as I can but when he went to get their things to bring them back to our home he dissapeared for a few days & came back without them. His ex & family said he has always been like this & did it to them 2 for yrs. He has lately not been working but tells me things will get better but I cant see past the hurt right now of him not doing right by me or the kids. He says he doesnt want to break up and he knows how to fix it but just wont. I feel as if I am being dragged. If you had someone at home to do all these things for you wouldn't you be inclined to treat them better? I do love him and want to try to see him through whatever this is hes dealing with but how
2007-08-29 05:48:58 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Ok so not a total bum he does do all the things I need when I am at work . He does take care of my he kids he takes them with him everywhere. He does things around the house for me & keeps things in check that way. But I am working two jobs to pay the bills and we are sinking fast financially. The other thing is he gets so upset when I cry. HE is black I am white and no offense to anyone...he told me maybe he is used to a black girl who will kick his @$$ and he doesnt know how to handle my hurt when I cry. Unfortnately we have had a rough road and some days its all I left in me. HE views emotion as childish behavior....UGHHHHHHH
2007-08-29 05:57:31 · update #1
ask him what he's dealing with, and if he doesn't agree to tell you, then break up. if he asks why, just tell him you think he's cheating on you. if he's the right guy for you, he will tell you what's wrong.
2007-08-29 05:55:05 · answer #1 · answered by muskapus 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first night he didn't come home you should have returned his kids to his family. They are not your responsibility and if he didn't care enough about them to be with them why should you? I'm sure you have feelings for his kids but it's not fair to any of you to be put in this position. He needs to find somewhere else to live and work out his issues on his own not bring them into your house. He doesn't want to break up because you are doing everything for him. Tell him he can come back when he's fixed it but you can't let him drag you down.
2007-08-29 12:59:18 · answer #2 · answered by rcButterfly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"If you had someone at home to do all these things for you wouldn't you be inclined to treat them better?
If you behaved as you are in this situation and I fit the description of your significant other, I would treat you the same as he does.
He may be a substance abuser and/or a cheater.
All he has brought into the relationship (based on what you say) are his kids. He doesn't have a home or a job.
It might be difficult to cut him loose, but it will be better in the long run. If for no one else, certainly for YOUR two children.
2007-08-29 13:03:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are being USED as his unpaid babysitter. he will always do the kind of things you said and you are in line for a lot of heartbreak if you don't get out of this situation at once. i don't know how you have taken it this long. you sound like a very nice person and you do not deserve this kind of treatment. GET OUT NOW!!!!
2007-08-29 13:02:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not working and disappears, I'd be worried clearly. You do everything for him and he just does whatever he wants. Talk to him about why he isn't working and let him know your concerned for him. If he doesn't seem to care about your concern for him, even if you love him you have to do what is best for you.
2007-08-29 12:54:21 · answer #5 · answered by Melmel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your first mistake was moving in with him. If he can't make you a wife don't expect him act responsible, loving, and devoted like a husband would.
Good luck!
2007-08-29 13:11:33 · answer #6 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
been there, done that .. I don't care how sincere he sounds and he may have good intentions but he will NEVER see them through.. DUMP HIS *** NOW.. before you get in deeper! He will take you down!
2007-08-29 12:57:27 · answer #7 · answered by jleigh70 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will only get hurt from this one-sided relationship. Get out while you still can.
2007-08-29 12:56:29 · answer #8 · answered by Isabel R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a user. I would dump him. Any self respecting man is going to have a job and be there for his children. He would also be there for you and yours.
2007-08-29 12:53:12 · answer #9 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
wow that is exactly why i am single. Time wil tell hon . just hang in there.
2007-08-29 12:53:29 · answer #10 · answered by nessa913 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋