How much stress can a woman handle?

Question

My daughter and granddaughter has moved in and she doesnt take care of my grandchild( my only piece of heaven) my teenage son is out of control and actually i had to contact defax to learn what i should do & they tell me to leave the home and my husband want work in a pie factory. What can i do? I have a full time job and i cant support everybody on what i make. i ask my daughter for $15.00 a week and she won't even do that. my husband told me i knew how he was and learn to live with it.

Answer 1

1. Give your dtr a time limit to get a job and start contributing to the family's household expenses or get out.
2. File for child support for your dtrs baby.
3. Send your teenage son to boot camp or something!
4. DO NOT LEAVE YOUR HOME! Kick some *** and take names later! It's your home after all!
5. Get into some counselling!
6. Take at least 30 mins each day to love your grandchild and play with her

Answer 2

You have a very messy situation to deal with, if you want to be involved as it stands. I personally would get out of dodge as the old saying goes. You need to know what you can control and what you can't. This a matter that you can't control by yourself, and what you say about your husband, your not going to control him period. It is a situation that you need to get out of, don't walk run. It seems everyone is against you, which means, now is the best time for you to go before you sink financially. Be Smart and move on. They only want you for what financial support you can give, They have no compassion, or feelings for you, and only want what money you can provide for their use. They are selfish, and only care about themselves. If you stay don't expect anything to change.
Don't waste the rest of your life on a family that treats you like dirt. You have handled enough stress, and don't need to take it anymore. File for a divorce, and find someone who will treat you like the dedicated and caring person that you are. Good Luck

Answer 3

tough love. I know it's hard but like you said, you can't do it all. It's really sad to hear your story because it just seems like they don't give a rats a** about your feelings. Tell them anti up or get out. That's the only answer. Otherwise, they will walk all over you as long as you let them. I know it's hard with it being your children and all but hey, you are their mother and the one who needs to teach them about life. It's a hard lesson but one that needs to be learned. I feel for you and hope that everything turns out good. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on you can e-mail me....I'm a good listener and have been through enough to understand what you're going through. Best wishes

Answer 4

Well, he is kind of right. EXCEPT.........you did know how he was. And I guess, up until now, you have accepted everything from him and everyone.....so they all think that what they do is okay.

Only now you have had enough and want to put an end to the foolishness. It is kind of late in the game........but it is really NEVER TOO LATE!!!

PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN. Demand, and COMMAND respect. Set limitations, and boundaries. If anyone in your life crosses those boundaries and breaks you 'rules' you have set for how you demand to be treated........then you have to enforce the consequences......whether or not that is asking your daughter to get it together or leave.

Or telling your husband that he better get it together and help you take care of the finances in the household you both share....

Limits-rules-structure. Every good home needs them.
And breaking them....leads to consequences. The glue that holds it all together is CONSISTENCY. Don't let up or give breaks. Up until now you have consistently let them get away with it....and it's bugging you now. So now reverse it, and consistently demand the respect and consideration that you deserve.

Answer 5

I have been conducting a long term ,non-scientific experiment on this very subject.
I have found that most women "fold" under very little pressure.
I am still, however compiling data. when I have more definitive results I'll get back to you.
I'm in the process of developing a scale with which to measure the precise point at which a woman will "cave".

Answer 6

Many of us women tend to take care of everyone else but neglect ourselves. Learn to be selfish, in a good way. A person doesn't have anything to give if they don't first take care of self. Give to yourself first, then what is left over you can give to others. This includes energy, time and money. If that means giving some people ultimatums to contribute or move on, then so be it. Know that giving to others, including family, is a choice. If you give, give freely with an open heart. If you can't do that, stop and give to self long enough to replenish your supply. Self care includes but is not limited to: daily Spiritual practice, whatever your beliefs, emotional pampering, receiving love from others, or if not forthcoming, giving love to yourself, mental stimulation, learn something new, and physical renewal, eating well, taking nutritional supplements, and daily physical exercise. No matter what others demand from you, if you will do that for yourself first, then you will have it to give to others when you choose.

I just read a quote that was very meaningful to me:
Loving ourselves is our gift to God
Gratitude for His Love to us.

May the Blessings Be.

Answer 7

It is time for tough love. This is the hardest thing to do because you will do anything for your children and you don't want to see them hurt or struggle. Speaking from experience, you are hindering their ablilty to work things out on their own. If they are having a hard time, they need to be giving the chance to get themselves out. I do understand you grandchild is a huge concern, but she can also use that as a guilt trip for you to help her. If she is there to get back on her feet, she should have to pay you rent and help pay for the groceries. You can't let her mooch off of you or you hinder her ability to make things work. What would she do if you and husband were to die today. Do you feel she would have the tools to make it in the world. TOUGH LOVE. GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 8

How much? Well, you're holding up so far.

Did you want advice? Kick husband, son and daughter out. Then get counseling for yourself and the grandchild. To be blunt, you didn't do such a good job with your own kids and need to learn how to do a better one with the granddaughter.

One useless kid, I'd be sympathetic. Two and obviously poor judgment in men, I gotta go with you've got problems of your own to fix.

Answer 9

Just hang in there and do the best you can to take care of yourself and the grandchild. All the others are old enough to pitch in and be helping with household chores and expenses. Unfortunately, you cannot force them to do what they will not do. Be responsible just for yourself and the grandchild. Try to get plenty of rest and avoid as much of the drama as possible. Peace and quiet and calmness in the house will help everyone. Take care and may God bless you. I hope things get better for you. Some day your son will be grown and out on his own. Your daughter may mature when she gets older.

Answer 10

It sounds like no one is giving you any respect.
Tell your husband to be a man and work.
Tell your son that if he doesn't straighten up then you'll call the cops on him.
Tell your daughter if she doesn't start taking care of HER daughter and pay you then she can LEAVE and you'll take care of the granddaughter.

But you have to follow through.