We have had marital problems for some time, only to me. He thinks all is well and good. No..I can't talk to him about the problem anymore than I already have. He can be a volital man and to tell you the truth, he just isn't very smart. He doesn't get it. He only lasts about 5 min (no kidding) in bed. I am not allowed to move while we are having sex because this only makes him *** faster. So.. what do you do? Time for an affair or divorce?
2007-08-29 04:42:37 · 15 answers · asked by goldpony2002 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You're talking about two separate issues. One issue is touch, which has mental, emotional, Spiritual meaning. The other issue is purely physical. The physical issue has several possible resolutions, which a good sex therapist could help you and your husband find. Or, frankly some sincere research on the Internet could lead to resolution. The touch issue is much more serious and indicates a breakdown of the essential components of relationship, mutual respect, caring, and affection. If you want to save the relationship, counseling could help rebuild the caring and respect. If you don't want to save the relationship, then I suggest a graceful exit. Cheating will only lead to more heartache. A clean break could mean leaving with respect and dignity and building another future.
2007-08-29 05:13:01 · answer #1 · answered by shine_radiantstar 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
From what you have written, your problem is not really marital related, other than your husband has ED. I feel very strongly that you have a mental problem relating to your husband having ED., and you haven't been closed mouth about it either. I know that he feels this resentment inside, and a man knows when a woman shows her true love when making love. You say you can't stand your husband touching you. Do you have any idea what that sounds like to a person who is reading this for the first time? Almost as bad as he was filthy and totally disgusting because he revolts you. That's a rotten thing to say about someone who probably adores you. You have put your personal sexual desires way above on the priority list. His ED problem should be up on top as well. Correct his problem and some of yours will be also corrected.Well anyway I think that statement is uncalled for. Why don't you get your husband to a doctor who specializes in ED. They have real wonder drugs that can help him tremendously. At least give this a try. As far as an affair, I would highly recommend that you don't have one. Get a divorce, then you can have all the men you want without destroying your husbands life, and maybe someone else's en-route. Have you ever thought of being involved in a w....house ? You will get all the men you can handle that's for sure. I don't mean to be vulgar, but the truth is the truth. Good Luck on your endeavors.
2007-08-29 08:52:30 · answer #2 · answered by Butch. 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
So you love your husband? Does he love you?
If you think having an affair is going to make you feel better then you are selfish. Do you have any children in this marriage? Think about your child. Staying married for the sake of the children isn't the solution that is for sure but if you don't love your husband enough to make your marriage work then what are you showing your family?
I agree that you need to be happy... everyone does. But you chose to make the commitment to this man for better or worse, If this is something that both of you are not willing to fix then it might be time to move on. He on his part needs to do something to make his wife happy. If he doesn't see that then you two really need to sit down and talk about your other options. If that doesn't work then try separation and see how the two of you feel being apart.
2007-08-29 04:59:33 · answer #3 · answered by Valentina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-04-01 00:39:32 · answer #4 · answered by Rosina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do an affair. He may flip out and want to physically hurt you or end your life. If you both have exhausted every resource, and his current state is permanent......
then......you do what you have to. I hate to say it, but maybe you have to leave. I just know for SURE you shouldn't cheat, because his anger/hurt/jealousy would probably make him want to take your life. Walk away and live free before you let him do that.
But, one thing.......have you and your guy thought about the penile implants? My grandmother's friend (I'm serious....I'm SO NOT JOKING!) got one. They have different kinds. They have ones that stay rigid, and that can be positioned (Facing down/flat or raised for "action") or ones that have an "inflatable" bulb in the scrotum area so that the implant within the penis can be pumped up to erection size. My grandmother's friend was REALLY happy with his.
She said that she wasn't interested in having sex anymore, but he had a few young women that swarmed around him and told us that he was (YUCK!!!!) pretty good with it. (He was the sugar daddy type.)
Anyway....all that to say, there is that last option. Or, you may need to leave.
2007-08-29 05:02:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Time for marriage counciling. That's what it's time for. But that would be too much work and effort. So by all means, cheat on your husband and ruin your marriage. Doesn't sound like you care anymore anyway.......
2007-08-29 04:47:03 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he's poor get a divorce you have nothing to loose, if he's doing well financially you might consider a discreet affair many people have affairs for many many years to fulfill what is lacking in their marriage it's very common and natural. ..
2007-08-29 04:57:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You could study tantra together. There are many techniques for longetivity such as breathing exercises. It would also bring you closer together as a couple. There are also books on male s*xuality that teach control. My husband had this problem and together we worked on it. I helped him by going through the exercises nightly. It not only greatly improved his PE, but it was fun too.
2007-08-29 06:15:29 · answer #8 · answered by jc 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think that you are a selfish person.
many guys last 5 minutes, and seriously, if he lasted 30 min, you'd still be complaining that he is going to long and boring you.
leave him, buy yourself a 2 foot hot pink dildo, and let him be with someone who will appreciate him, cause apparently, you don't.
2007-08-29 04:50:21 · answer #9 · answered by Kaja 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
if you are unhappy then you have to do whatever it is to change your own life.
apparently, you no longer respect your husband at all...
do what's best for YOU... look around, everyone else does!
2007-08-29 04:48:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋