is 19 too young to have a baby?

Question

I'm soon going to be 19, my boyfriend is 22we have been talking (only talking!) about having a baby.

we own our own house, with a mortgage. we have been together since i was 17 and he was 20. we love and trust each other very much and plan to spend the rest of our lives together.

my bf has a really good job with good pay and we regularly get at least £100 left over from his wages at the end of every month (after bills, food etc)!

i'm going to university this september starting a 4 year course where i will be at uni for about 3 days each week (a few hours each day)!

before anyone says 'wait unitl you've finished uni'... i have already decided that i want a baby sooner than in 4 years time.

Do you think that next year (when i'm 19) will be too soon or too young to have a baby?

Answer 1

i had my first when i was 19, granted she was an "oops" (second was at 22, 3rd at 23) ... but i wouldn't change it for anything. Only you know when you are ready to have a baby, don't let anyone tell you anything else, however saying that, the chance of you finishing uni once you have a baby is drastically reduced, im not saying that no one finishes after having kids, but it does alter alot of things.

and if your trying to convince yourselves that you can do it on the money you have now, work out the budget... yes babies are small and dont eat alot, however... nappies are VERY expensive, as are wipes, ointments, toys, clothes, if for some reason you cant breast feed formula is very expensive. Will you work? how was your uni being paid for?? can you afford the extra expense and still do uni ??

I was very very very lucky in that despite the fact i was a single mum i had an awesome job and an amazing family and network of friends, i really couldn't have done it with out them, but alot of people don't have that,

But the age thing doesn't mean anything. I know people who are 16 who are better parents than people who are in their 30's :)

good luck with whatever you decide. :)


editing to add...

those who said that they felt their life would be over and they should get partying etc. out of the way...

thats a reallllllllllllllllllllyyyyyyy bad way to look at a kid... they actually make your life better ... i was still able to go out and have fun, didnt get wasted or anything, but i wasnt dead... and for travelling, my 21st birthday i got a trip around the world for me and my daughter... before she was 1 she had more stamps in her passport than many people ever get,

kids just add to your life, yeah things take a bit longer to do (even nipping out to the store) but to think they would stop you having fun is silly and you will end up regretting your child.. thats not good.

Answer 2

Honestly, I would go to school for a year and a half, maybe two, then start trying. You'd still be very young - 21 or so
I was 22 when I had my son and I'm 24 now, pregnant 22 weeks with our second baby.
I'm in school full time right now, and it's not easy. My little one grabs my pens and pencils while I'm working and runs off with them, tears my papers... constantly distracts me from my lessons (and he isn't being bad.. he's just being a toddler)
Just know, that as nice as it is to have children, it is stressful. And going to school with kids is hard. It makes finishing school even harder... its easy to say, "ok. this semester I'll stay home with the baby and next semester I'll go back... (and then child care is expensive and other things come up and you say...) "ok, I'll take a couple of online classes this semester and go back next fall..."
You see what I mean? Things become more demanding and money really does get tight, no matter how much you guys make.
Just realize these things and take them into consideration.
But still have your babies young if that's what you want to do - being a young mother is great! I love it. I really grew up a lot, which could be a good or bad thing depending on who you talk to, but it was good for me....
Just remember, everything's twice as stressful when the baby comes (even your love life can take a toll) so don't jump into anything.
You'll do okay!

Answer 3

Sounds like you can bring the baby into a stable loving home with financials in order. I always thought that I would have a baby when I was that young, I dreamed about it often... thinking I would take off one year halfway through to have the baby, and make it work from there. LOL, unfortunately I was not in a good position to do so (as you sound like you are) so I waited it out! I am now 24 and finally having my first!! The urge to have a baby slowly dwindled as time went by and I started a professional career... but with my surprising news I seem to get more excited everyday. I say go for it if you feel in your heart it's something you want to do. Best of luck!

Answer 4

its not too young, or too soon if you're ready. my husband and i got pregnant when i was 18 and had our baby 3 days after my 19th bday. he had turned 21 about 2 weeks before.

one thing you seriously need to consider is your relationship. my husband and i have been together since 15 and 17 and have lived together since 17 and 19. having a baby strengthens the bond you have, but also challenges it at the same time. we are encountering things we never did prior to having a baby and work through one issue at a time. but if one of you is not patient or completely devoted to each other, the relationship will go down the drain. babies change things, sometimes for the better and sometimes not. for example - my husband and i got into a fight and he came out and told me something that was very hurtful that was affecting him. i was hurt, but its something i needed to deal with. i started talking about well maybe we shouldnt stay together blah blah blah because i thought that was what HE wanted by saying that but he almost had a panic attack thinking he would lose me. you should feel that way about easch other - that no matter WHAT happens, you will be together and love each other and support this family you have created (UNLESS it involves abuse or infidelity - you dont have to deal with that nonsense!). all in all, coming from a young mother who was at one point at the sae spot in her life... is it worth it? MOST DEFINETLY. would i change anything? NO WAY! is it hard? WITHOUT A DOUBT. make sure you are prepared mentally, physically, emotionally, financially and as a STRONG UNITED couple

Answer 5

From personal experience i would wait until you are married and or have graduated with your degree. I got pregnant at 19 and had my son two wks after i turned 20. Because of this i was not able to go to college and get the degree i wanted and had dreamed of getting for many yrs. I was engaged to my first husband when i got pregnant and we moved the wedding up a few months. I am now 32 yrs old, re married and 35 wks preg with our planned baby girl. Looking back i so wish i had been able to get my degree back then because when you are older (and after having children) time flies by so fast you never know where it all went.
Please please get your degree and get married first, even though you have a house and good income do those two things first. It will make things more secure and permanant. I would suggest getting the degree then getting married. From what friends have told me about college, you meet so many different people. Maybe the guy you are with is not the one you are meant to be with. Go to the university first. Worry about babies later.

Answer 6

nobody can decide that except for you. i am 26 years old and have been with my husband since i was 19 years old. i KNOW that there is no way i was ready for a baby when i was 19. not because i wasn't "mature" enough but i just hadn't lived enough of my life alone. you and your boyfriend have only been together for 2 years. that is only two years for you to enjoy eachother's company and spend quality time together. my relationship with my husband has done tremendous growing (with some minor bumps here and there) over the past three years and i couldn't imagine doing that with a kid. we have now been married for five and a half years and still don't have kids. i don't know when we will but i am glad that at this point in my life i don't have a school aged kid to take care of, i'm just now coming to the point in my life where i can give up enough of my "me" time to care for someone else. i have two dogs and that has helped me a lot to learn about myself and caring for others.

in my personal opinion 19 is too young but i have friends that had kids at 16 and are married... not sure if they are truly happy but they seem to be. my friend's mom actually had her first child when she was 15 (it WAS a planned pregnancy) and ended up having 5 more kids and she had a lot of ups and downs but seems happy today.

Answer 7

100 Euros a month is not enough for a baby, plus trust me on this you are awfully young to tackle both school and a child. A child at 19 is hard enough but to go to college as well odds are one or both will suffer from your juggling. I would suggest that you wait and enjoy college and maybe travel some before having a child. I think 19 is to young to have a child.

Answer 8

I had a baby at 19 but I certainly was not as set as you are. It is completely up to you. My Bf at the time and myself also discussed having a baby. He assured me he wanted a baby as bad as I did and so did his mother. Apparently with them it was all a lie and once I was pregnant bad things happened. Honestly if I were you I would get married first, this way you know that your BF loves you and was willing to make a commitment to you. A baby is a big deal and without help it's very hard. Good luck!

Answer 9

I just had my first baby at age 33. I am soooo very thankful that I waited until I was older. There are many things you will not be able to do if you have a child this early. There is plenty of time for babies, enjoy your boyfriend, your freedom, your youth. Travel, go to school, get all that crap out of your system so when you have a baby you can concentrate on raising your child.

Answer 10

i think you should get engaged and work on a small wedding then think about kids im 19 now i don't think its to young but it kinda is i get told alot that i shouldn't be w/ my bf not that they don't like him but im to young to be tied now i have been w/ him since i was 16 almost 4 years now....i think you should get threw school you have alot of time to worry about kids
i really admire you for having a house already that's awesome i wish i could stay that we just moved in together

also my best friend who is 19 just had a baby and she thinks her life is over she complains she won't get to go out any more or have anything nice cuz she has to give it to her child she loves her daughter but still think about that we really don't talk to her any more cuz she to busy and we are always scared to call that she might wake up or we might wake the baby

don't listen to anyone that says bad things about being so young just think about everything b4 you make the next step good luck!!