Can anyone relate?

Question

I'm 16 and engaged (I'm aware I'm young, so please don't feel the need to tell me, we're not getting married for a few years!), and I've been with my fiance (19) for a long time, and I love him to pieces but sometimes I can't help but think I've kinda missed out on a phase of my life; the going out and having fun and not having a care in the world part - and I'm not talking about sexual stuff here, I just seem to be so much more grown up than the majority of my friends in some senses and sometimes I wish I could be more like them in some ways! I'm finding this hard to explain but did anyone go through a phase where they felt like this if they met someone when they were young? I've talked to him about it but he thinks I mean that I wanna be with other people and I don't! I just don't know who to talk to about it and wonder if anyone can relate? My fiance's mum got engaged at 16 and they're still together and so did my Mum's mate, did anyone else meet they're husbands/wives young?

Answer 1

Hey I went through the same thing i was engaged at 16 and now I'm 18 and I'm still with the same person and already have a child with him but I still feel like I did not enjoy my teenage phase i think it's natural to feel like this some people just need time to think about the commitment they are going to have if you feel that you need time let him know it's scary to know that you are going to be with the same person for the rest of you life. even if you love the person very much you need to do something that won't affect you emotionally do what's right and good luck (congrats!)

Answer 2

All girls mature faster then boys, that's a given, LOL. But just because some teenage marriages survive, better look at the statistics. More don't. There's no question that you two are in love, but as you say you are missing out on some of the best years of your life. Live a little. Have fun with your girlfriends.
Here's a thought, get yourself a better education so you can have a good paying job when you'll need it.
He should be doing the same thing. It isn't cheap to live on your own.
But, whatever you decide, good luck.

Answer 3

Well, you're contradicting yourself in your question, but the point is, that you ARE too young. And deep down you know this, but feel the need to defend this fact. I suggest you guys keep a long engagement and plan your lives in an age appropriate fashion, such as still go to college, go travelling (together) etc. If you two are soulmates this should not be a problem and you will grow even closer. And when your fiances mom got engaged that was a different time. We are living in a different world now. Good Luck

Answer 4

I was the same way. I got engaged when I was 18 didn't get married until I was 21, we had been together since I was 15. But even still we went out and partied together, but I couldn't help feeling like I missed out on something then. Now it doesn't really matter, unfortunately we didn't continue to grow together and ended up parting ways, I still love him very much. I've been remarried and divorced since. I've also spent some time on my own and none of those feelings of missing out matter to me now. As for the marriage with my first...I'd do it all over again. He was a very dear love in my life, and we've managed to stay friends throughout the years.
The love we shared will forever be bright, fresh, and untainted as I haven't known a love like that since. WOW...that seriously was just a revelation for me.

Answer 5

I was 18, when I met my husband. I had gone through the dating scene but mostly with an older man, so I too did not participate in the usual high school stuff. To be honest, in the long run, it really doesn't matter. You aren't going to care in 10 years. However, I don't understand why you can't participate in the "going out and having fun and not having a care in the world part". He may not want to hang out with a bunch of 16 year olds who aren't as mature as you are, but I'm sure he'd understand if you wanted to hang out with a bunch of girl friends. You should always maintain those relationships. Just make sure you reassure him often that you are not interested in other guys. I'm sure you'll find, if you do go spend a typical weekend with them, that the typical high school, carefree time, gets old real fast.

Answer 6

Met my husband at 17. Of course I graduated a couple months before I met him. As for going out and such, we did it together and with groups of friends. Had even more of a blast since I knew I had the eyes of the only one that mattered in the room on me and I also knew I was taking that stud home to our bed! We've been married for almost 6 years now (hes 26 and I'll be 25 on Sunday) so all I can say is, just take it one step at a time and enjoy that you found one another.

Answer 7

I have been with my husband since I was 16 now I am 23, we are happy and have 2 kids. We married when I was 19. I kinda feel like I missed out on having lot's of dates and going out with friends, I wouldn't trad my husband for any of those things though. Having a constant person in your life who loves you and is always there is better than a lot of guys you cant depend on. If you feel like you are missing something maybe your not ready for a commitment like that. 16 is young for such a commitment. I understand about being more mature than the rest of your friends, the reason I was more mature than my friends was because my mom died when I was 15, I had to take care of my brothers, so I was a little more grown up than the rest of my friends. Sounds like your not ready to grow up so fast.Which is fine.

Answer 8

yes, I met my husband at the age of 16 and we are still together, I am 42. I love him and totally believe we were meant to be together..but the road has not been easy. We were so young we really didnt know how to be unselfish partners..didnt know how to care for another before ourselves..a lot of just immature stuff went on. Then later he had an affair because he felt he missed out. We have been to counseling and we are happy and have worked it all out..but marriage is not easy..it has a lot of phases, stages, and curves in the road. So, I can relate..and the reason you feel the way you do, is because its true..you are missing out. You are choosing to grow up fast. Im not saying its not the right thing for you to do, but marriage is not easy at any age. Good luck hon!!!

Answer 9

I met my husband at a young age. He was a great man, but if I could have done all over again, I would have waited. You have your whole life ahead of you. I understand you're mature for your age, but you need to act your age. You will be an adult sooner than you think. Being an adult is hard and you're rushing to be one. You can be engage for as long as you want. Focus on YOUR future. What do YOU want to do when you get older? This is YOUR life, not his. Wait until you're are READY to get married. If you have to question getting married, you are not ready.

Answer 10

If you already feel like you're missing out part of life, imagine how you will feel once you're married and it's more difficult to do anything about it.

Do you and your fiance have friends outside of each other? Do you have friends together? Do you do things apart from each other?

I'm not suggesting that you break up, but I do think you should try to find some friends with whom you have more in common. Spend some time with them. Do things apart from your fiance.