I have been married for 8months now and it seems like My husband and I are having alot of arguements, He calls his mom everyday abotu everything, tells her about our fights and calls her everytime he goes to the doctor and it seems like she knows more then I do. I feel like I am last in his life. I told him How I felt he said it was stupid. Am I over exxagerating?
2007-08-29 04:06:06 · 20 answers · asked by jennyjenn518 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I wouldn't like that either. Buy him a drawer full of tee shirts if he doesn't knock this off that say "Mommas Boy".
2007-08-29 04:36:42 · answer #1 · answered by Rein 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you aren't over exagerating. You should be first now, not his mother. His mother should still be imortant to him, just not the #1.
Seems like he hasn't had the apron strings cut yet. Some men never do. My father was like that, and still is. Thank gosh my husband is not.
He should not be telling his mom, or anyone else, about your fights. Those are personal problems for the two of you to work out. It is no one else's business unless you have chosen to go to counseling. At that point it is your buisness and the councilors buisness only.
He should be more conciderate of you and how you feel. He should tell you about his life (when he goes to the doctor as you stated, ect.), and he should not tell his mother everything.
However, you married this man. Did you not know he was this way before the two of you married?
Like I said my dad is like this He is over 40 and still very much attached to his mother. Good luck.
2007-08-29 11:18:48 · answer #2 · answered by gorgeous 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. My husband did the same thing. It actually took three and a half years, and me basically walking out and telling him that he and his mom can have each other.......for him to cut the umbilical cord and change the dynamics of their relationship.
You unfortunately married a momma's boy (like my hubby) and it is just gonna take a little while for him to let go of the #1 woman in his life SINCE BIRTH, and totally attach to you. Give him some time. But DO in this time TELL HIM how you feel about it, and TELL HIM what you need from him while he eases into the transition.
Hopefully it won't be as dramatic and messy as it was for my husband and I.
2007-08-29 11:15:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, you're not over exaggerating. Your husband needs to grow up, and stop being a mommy's boy. If he wants to call and tell her when he's sick, or what the doctor said, that's one thing. But your personal life, including fights, is none of her business. Tell him that it even says in the bible that when a man marries, he leaves that mother behind and the wife comes first. If he continues this behavior I'd recommend a marriage counselor...if he refuses that I'd recommend a divorce attorney.
2007-08-29 11:16:25 · answer #4 · answered by mazey1967 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nope, you married a Mama's boy. It is unfortunate you didn't realize that before you made the commitment. The biggest thing for me in your statement is that he said how you felt was stupid. He should never tell you your feelings are stupid. He needs to be compassionate and reassuring, not critical. It is one thing for him to tell her about his medical issues, he probably values her judgement and experience. It is another for him to tell her about your fights. He may be looking for her experience there too, but he needs to remember that though he may forgive you, she will always remember and if she thinks you've wronged him, she will hold it against you for a very long time. I would suggest marriage counseling. Chances are the counselor will tell him that he needs to cut the apron strings and be an independant man. Perhaps he will listen, when it comes to a professional. If not, I hope you like your mother-in-law because she is going to be the 3rd person in your marriage. Good luck!
2007-08-29 11:17:18 · answer #5 · answered by nimat33 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a mamma's boy---MANY people are.
People who get married drag their families and emotional baggage into the marriage, and it's part of the experience.
If other factors in the marriage are working, the Mamma's boy problem might be tolerable. Some men are attached this way their entire lives, and have happy, normal marriages.
But you don't have to let this affect you---you don't have to react to this, if you don't want to.
But you might as well accept the fact he will never change---the love from his Mother might be a good, positive influence in his life, and you might end up being very grateful that she cares about him. Think of her as an ally in the job of caring for your husband.
He will not change.
2007-08-29 11:20:39 · answer #6 · answered by papyrusbtl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that's rough. It's kind of wimpy for him to let this happen when he's a grown man. But honestly, there's not much you can do in a situation like this. He has to make the decision to take control of his life.
Studies show that couples who agree on issues like money, kids, religion and in-laws have a great chance of making a strong, successful marriage that works. This doesn't mean that things can't change, though, and he doesn't have to ostracize his mom to do it. But he needs to cut the apron strings and understand that you want a relationship with him – not her.
2007-08-29 11:35:34 · answer #7 · answered by passion 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is part of the separation process when you get married. Make sure that he knows that you would like to hear these things. Also, realize that these feelings are normal, and they will pass. Try asking your husband what he did that day, and having a conversation about it, without any drama attached.
2007-08-29 11:13:42 · answer #8 · answered by Qyllix 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, but why on earth would you marry a momma's boy who can't cut the apron strings? Didn't you see this coming from the beginning? If he really loves and respect you...he will respect your marriage and will refrain from calling mommy every time there is a little spat.
2007-08-29 11:14:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a disaster waited to vomit. Your arguments should be between you two and not you two plus mommie. He needs to get off that tit and MAN UP. You are not wrong, he has not adjusted to wife first or at least telling you and then her. I'm not saying he can't talk to mom he just needs to talk with you resolve the problem. If he bad mouths you to her she will lose respect for you.
2007-08-29 11:14:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. I would feel the same way if it were my husband and I. He shouldn't be running to his mom with everything. When he got married he was supposed to have grown up and severed the apron strings of his mommy.
2007-08-29 11:16:15 · answer #11 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋