My husband and I are starting marriage counseling today, this afternoon. Right now I am so frustrated with him (as I am everyday) but literally almost feel as though I hate him at this point in time. I really want the counseling to work because it is our last resort before divorce. I REALLY do not want to go into the session and seem like I'm "attacking" him and listing all of the things I dislike about him because I believe that will cause more problems once we leave. Any suggestions on how I can approach the counseling session so that I do not appear to be attacking him?
2007-08-29 03:20:53 · 11 answers · asked by allie s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Listen to what is being said, then act accordingly.
2007-08-29 03:26:11 · answer #1 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If your m/c is any good you won't need to worry about this. They will work with both of you to get at the problem areas. Usually communication is the issue and not an easy one to solve. Go into it with a truly open mind the experience will help you greatly regardless of the outcome of your marital situation.
Should the first visit become hostile go to someone else it is very important to keep cool heads when a couple is willing to work on their issues.
I wish the best for you and your husband. Make the most of this opportunity and you will come out a better person for it.
2007-08-29 03:55:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For counseling to have a shot at being effective, you have to risk being honest. Whatever's wrong is already wrong, so you don't need to try to dress your feelings or the relationship up for the counselor's benefit. Consequently, the counseling session is the perfect place for your feelings of rage, because the counselor can more effectively address your concerns and help you find a way of dealing with them if he/she can see manifestations of them in concrete ways. Trust the process...good luck to you both.
2007-08-29 03:32:49 · answer #3 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to keep in mind when seeing a counselor to be nothing but honest. They can not help the both of you without all the issues out on the table. It is not an easy process and one of you or both of you will come out with hurt feelings. I know you do not want to make him feel like he is being attacked, but he and the counselor need to know what is going on. He also probably has issues with you that he will mention as well, this could hurt you. Both of you need to go in with an open mind knowing things will be said so they can be addressed and worked on. GOOD LUCK!!!
2007-08-29 03:37:03 · answer #4 · answered by D TRAIN 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to realize that you cannot change another person. You can only change yourself which will improve the relationship.
If I were you (I was years ago), I would buy 2 books:
The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands
The Surrendered Wife
You may see that some of the problems are related to your behavior . They did not save my marriage. I found them too late and he was lying about his affair. But I can tell you that I am in a wonderful relationship now. We are getting married next year.
Good Luck.
2007-08-29 03:30:39 · answer #5 · answered by Tadpoler 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
before you go to couseling make sure you both understand that you are gonna say something that might make the other one angry...so what needs to be said is ....what we say in counseling stays in counseling and if you have a problem with it wait until the next session to discuss it. and after counseling go out for dinner or for a walk...do something besides going home and arguing...someones got to give in and try to have the relationship move forward.
2007-08-29 03:47:48 · answer #6 · answered by $martA$$.com 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I are in counseling. One of the first things she asked us to look at was what attracted us to each other in the first place, what we used to do for fun. She also has encouraged us to use what she calls "I " statements, not "you" statements, such as "I feel like you don't listen when you walk off when I am talking" instead of " You never listen to me." It really does work though, because it addresses the problem, not places the blame.
2007-08-29 04:03:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go in with an open mind, just answer the questions honestly,
and don't come up with a "list" of reasons you don't like him.
And you have to take some of the responsibility too.
2007-08-29 03:27:10 · answer #8 · answered by doodlebug 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell the truth about how you feel and about what happens WITHOUT calling him names or yelling at him. Talk to the therapist, not to him, and you'll be less likely to say something that sounds like an attack.
2007-08-29 03:45:20 · answer #9 · answered by lady_phoenix39 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can talk all you want your cat might think he is a rabbit and he is not human,you can talk all you want tobut he wont listen . So either take him to a vet ,or get him a mate ,and hewill show you he is a cat if he is not fixed. God bless you and your cat.
2016-05-21 00:06:00 · answer #10 · answered by kylie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just remember to first and formost be 100% honest but also remember for every negative there HAS to be a possative. Remember what it is that you once loved about him. dont forget to tell him you still love him.
2007-08-29 03:28:40 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋