More info....wanting topull my MIL's hair out?

Question

If you haven't read that question I would go back and read it.... The short story if that I caught my mother inlaw haveing breakfast with my hubbys ex. This is a person that he dated WAY before me, but this person broke into her house and did all kinds of bad things to that family. The main reason I can't beleive that she was having breakfast with the EX is because besides this girl breaking into her house....she has also threathed to kidnap my daughter (stateing to the police that this child was ment to be hers). She even went as far as to get a job at the day care that we placed my daughter in, until we place a protection order on her and they fired her. She has sent text messages and harrassed me to no end, she seems to think that I am the reasonthat he wouldn't go back to her. The fact is that she is nuts and that is the reason. I have police reports so WHY oh who would my mother in law go behind my back to even talk to this person who wants to hurt her grand baby

Andthe only reason that my sis in law allows contact is because she feels that it is better to know what she is up to then to be surprized.

Answer 1

Maybe she is trying to keep her enemies closer, that might help her to not hate you soo much. Maybe she is trying to befriend her so that she won't do anything to harm the baby.

Answer 2

Wow, I understand why you are so concerned. Keep in mind, she didn't invite her to the house but rather met in a neutral place. There are two possible causes I can think of. (1) She decided your sil had the right idea (2) The ex apologized either over the phone or via your sil and mil decided to sit down and talk to her. The only thing I can suggest is that you ask your mil directly and tell her how you feel. When you stopped tolerating her calling you the wrong name or talking about the ex, she responded. I'm sure she will understand your hurt and concerns this time as well. If she doesn't, talk to your husband and have him discuss it with her.

Answer 3

The mother in law has a point. Since she is close to the nutcase , you need to talk to her , and tell her to make it very clear that her son has moved on now, and has his own life , his own family. That she needs to stay out of his life, but she will still be her friend.. This way, she can keep tabs on her intentions and also keep you informed as well. If it gets out of hand , you should call the police and make them aware of her intent to kidnap , and her deluded vision of who`s baby it should be,the harassment you are getting from her .Maybe a hidden microphone that is recording the conversation so the authorities can have proof that there is something going on , If she was "watched" by the police with her knowledge, this may be enough to get her to stop, if she is aware there are legal ramifications she may snap out of her little world, and get back into the real one.

You may be able to have her charged with criminal harassment. Look into it now!

Answer 4

You should have your sil introduce her to someone you really dislike so she can move her focus from you and yours to the new guy. If only that would work.
I'd move and cut all contact with everyone, but thats just me....anyone who would even so much as think it was ok to have contact with someone who knowingly would harm my baby would never be allowed near my child. I'd pick up my daughter and leave, never to be heard from again.
Maybe take the hubby, but wouldn't ever tell the in-laws where we've moved to...they may accidentally tell psycho *****. Best thing they can do is lie to this girl and not tell her a damn thing. You never give psychotic people info about yourself and your family....THEY WILL USE IT AGAINST YOU SOME WAY SOME HOW.

Answer 5

Perhaps your mother-in-law couldn't refuse having breakfast with the ex. She could have been threatened into it just like you were.
Perhaps the more agitated and irritated you are with her presence is the exact motivation she needs to rile you.
If you have done all you can, police reports, ppo, fired her from her job, that is quite a lot, she is a goner by now, what else is there to do?
How about getting your husband to tell her to leave you people alone? Surely she will listen to him.

Answer 6

The strategy of "keep your friends close, but your enemies closer" is a bad strategy when children are at risk or when you're dealing with someone who is unstable. Remind your MIL that this woman is dangerous, unstable and determined to harm your family. To invite her in is to ask for catastrophy. If your MIL, or any other member of the family continues to have contact with this woman, consider moving far enough away to keep your family safe. BTW, where's the hubby in all this? Surely he has some influence with mom about the welfare and safety of his daughter?

Answer 7

Wow...what a true soap opera. Do you think your mother in law could be seeing the ex to make sure she knows what she is doing? and How supportive is your husband on this issue. It really is his place to talk to his mother about this situation. Until then I would live my life without the MIL in it. You have to protect your child.
Good luck!

Answer 8

Maybe they were discussing how to change your hubby's ex's behavior. Maybe they were reconciling. This woman may have realized what she has been doing is wrong and wants to patch things up with the family. Sometimes that happens, some people can change regardless of their past.

Answer 9

You need to tell your hubby and then both of you confront her about the ex.
Tell her that if she feels like she wants to be on "friendly" terms then she'll only be allowed supervised time with her granddaughter.

This ex is very dangerous and I hope you are keeping records on VERY thing.

Answer 10

You can't control what your MIL does. If you do not like her choice of friends, then do not speak to your MIL except for polite conversation for the sake of your child.

I understand your frustration about it, but there's nothing you can do. She knows how you feel about this other woman, but she does not care.