HELP ME! I have NEVER had an ORGASM!?

Question

I am 31 years old and have been sexually active for 6 years. I have never had an orgasm and I am beginning to go out of my mind with stress. I have been married three years and my husband has no clue that I fake orgasms. I am jealous of my friends who talk about what having an orgasm feels like. Please someone..somebody help me. Can I take some drug? I have tried relaxing and just enjoying the moment, I have even mentally prepared myself..nothing works! I cant tell my husband I dont enjoy sex at all. He comes in all of 5 minutes and I just roll over depressed!!!!!

Answer 1

Have you ever been able to make it happen on your own? If you haven't, then there may be something physically wrong and you really need to talk to you gynecologist. If you can do it yourself, though, and you just can't do it during sex, then you probably have a problem relaxing and clearing your mind. Either way, I think you need to talk to a physician. It's not something to be embarrassed about at all. It's a physical part of you just like everything else and if something is wrong, it needs to be treated.

Answer 2

Coming from a man's point of view I would rather my wife tell me that she is not having orgasm's and that I am not satisfying her then to live with thinking I am a good lover when actually I am not. You have to tell him. He will probably be hurt at first but if you talk to him and let him know this it will be better in the long run. I would suggest first off that you work on getting him to last longer then 5 minutes. It sounds like "wham bam thank you mam". He can learn to control himself better and thus increase the possibility of you having an orgasm. There are websites that give you exercises to control premature ejaculation. Have him do a search and try these out. Now on your side do you have him do oral sex on you? My wife can have multiply orgasms just by oral sex. (Either by rubbing or licking). Toys might help but its better for him if he can do it himself. I would also suggest you think about seeing a sex therapist (yes there is such a thing) and learn how to please each other and that person may also be able to help him with his problem as well as yours. A national directory is in the website I put below. I hope this helps and good luck!

Answer 3

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Answer 4

Some women's clitoris is hidden and it's difficult for them to have an orgasm. If this is your problem, your husband needs to know about it; so he can please you. It doesn't mean you don't enjoy sex with him at all. You just need more stimulation to reach a climax. Most women fake orgasms at times, so that's nothing new. When you're faking all of the time, it's time to deal with the problem. There are things your husband can do to bring you around; but he can't do this, if he doesn't know there's a problem. If the problem is that he comes too fast, he needs to know that, girlfriend. You're in bed with the man you love. Tell him what you need.

Answer 5

Hello! "he comes in all of 5 minutes"; no wonder you aren't having an orgasm. Talk to him about this; that you need more time. Survey says - most women need a good 15 - 20 minutes of foreplay and such to achieve an orgasm. Communicate; he probably doesn't even realize how frustrated you are.

Answer 6

From your other messages, I would not say it is you exactly. I would say that the stress you encounter on a day to day makes it hard for you to release pleasure. Yes you want to release, but the stress causes you not to.

Why didn't you leave your husband when you found out he was cheating. You also have a child, that adds to the stress you have. You have alot of stress in your life hun, the stress of a child and the stress of infidelity can make any woman not release.

He needs to take the time to let you orgasm anyway. You can go to a sex store and buy him something so he doesnt have as much sensation, or you can buy yourself and heightening cream, yes even after 5 minutes of sex, you will feel it, and have pleasure from it, possibly even orgasm.

If you forgave your spouse for cheating, then he needs to work on his duties in the bedroom.

Even you can get some stuff at walmart, its KY pleasure for women, Its easy to find.

Answer 7

You need to talk to your husband. That's ridiculous if you cant talk to him about something like that. I Tell my man when i dont get one and then he does his best to give me an orgasm because he wants to please me. You should not be ashamed to talk to your husband. I mean you married him so you should be able to talk to him about anything and that is including you not having an orgasm.

The only way you are gonna fix this is talking to him and letting him know cuz he wont unless you communicate. And besides that I am pretty sure he wants to please you all guys wanna please the women they love. Try talking, be confident in yourself and let him know!

Or it's never gonna happen and its a great feeling. Good Luck (and stop faking its ok to do it once and a while but not every time)

Answer 8

First off, you have GOT to tell your husband! it will be really hard but that is the first step, i was with my husband for two years before i told him and it was devastating to him (not to scare you) but some good did come out of it, he learned to work really hard to figure out what worked with me and what did not and even brought some toys in the mix to help me achieve an orgasm....remember an orgasm is mainly in your mind so stressing about not having one can actually make you not be able to have one, so relax and try not to think about it. Make sure you have Nothing on your mind, no stress, no kids, no work, Nothing! you need to completely clear your mind of everything including the fact that you are trying to get an orgasm, just enjoy everything. Even if it takes several attempts before you both figure it out, trust me it will be worth it, once you figure out what makes you tick, the orgasms will come none stop for you , but you have to communicate with your husband. use a vibrator on your self when he is not there to help you figure out your own body and that will help. good luck!

Answer 9

Maybe you should be on top more often; that's how I had my first. Sometimes you have to be stimulated at a certain angle. Try that for a clitoral orgasm cuz a vaginal one is harder to reach (it seems).

Good luck & Happy Sexin!

Answer 10

You really need some foreplay, oral stimulation. My husband is a minute man also so I never orgasm from sex, but I always do the other way!