Hi: this is a little long but read it anyway :) I gave birth naturally to my first baby daughter at a hospital (bed-birth) and I didn't like it at all. I was with my midwife and she was very helpful, but I didn't like the surroundings and during my labour which was moving very quickly (and soooo painfully) my husband couldn't really comfort me or rub in soothing oil or anything- he was just pushed to the side of the delivering room and I think he should have been there DOING more!!
I am going to deliver my second baby in 4 months through a home birth so my husband can get more involved with the birthing of our baby rather than just holding my hand- can I have any experiences please?? If you have had a homebirth please answer... how did you feel? What was labour like?
Thank you.
- Maddy x -
PS- Please tell me how your husband got involved with your birth home or hospital! Thanks alot xxx
2007-08-29 01:33:02 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
My hubby was great all throughout my pregnancy and did exactly what I told him without making any fuss. When it came to the birth he was really different and stayed in a corner of the room, found that quite strange after he was so close by all of the pregnancybut once the birth was over he was back to his usual self. May have been because we had a hard time and ended with an emergency c-section. You really cant compare what one man will be like to another as they are all individual, best thing to do is tell hubby HOW YOU WOULD LIKE HIM TO BE and then leave it to him to follow through on the day.
2007-08-29 01:40:55 · answer #1 · answered by googleymugley 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Had my first son in hospital which was a good experience as I arrived there at 9cm ! The second was an emergency unplanned c section a month early due to foetal distress !
The third was born at home which was not planned at all ! I think I felt relaxed and had been in labour for about four or five hours when I decided to have a bath. The contractions were still about fifteen twenty Min's apart at this time but as soon as i was in the bath,they started coming one on top of the other. We decided to go to the hospital but just as we were in the hall i felt the head crowning.....all went well and we had a beautiful baby boy.... My husbands participation in this birth was running the bath and helping me out....
I think when you are at home you can relax the way you want to. For me I think I was emotionally freer. I would say that you must have a back up plan and be ready to go to the hospital if things don't go to plan.
I wish you all the best with whatever you decide to do.
2007-08-29 07:34:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a home birth and it was absolutely BRILLIANT. Such a moving, positive experience. My husband was fully involved throughout. The midwife didn't even arrive until I was 9.5cm dilated because I happily laboured with just my husband until then. When the midwives did come, they really just observed and let me and my husband get on with it. Obviously I had some help at the last minute, but apart from that, they were just observing and there if I needed them.
Our baby was passed to us the second he arrived and my husband cut the cord.
Within 2 hours of the birth, the midwives had left and it was just me and my hubby and our beautiful baby tucked up in bed. And all the mess had been cleaned away!
I can highly recommend a home birth. Mine was a wonderful experience. It was my first baby and I had the best first labour of anyone I know.
2007-08-29 06:17:52 · answer #3 · answered by Ricecakes 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a hospital birth too.
My husband was great- he was there from my water's breaking to my 10cm dilation- mopping my brow, holding my hand, kissing me on the forehead, singing me songs and comforting me with soft words- he was amazing. He didn't come too close either but I understand how you feel.
If you ask the docs or midwifes about involving your husband more, they will allow your husband to cut the cord or maybe lie on the bed behind you like people have suggested.
Seeing as you are having a homebirth things will be better- your husband will definately be closer- you will be aloud to do whatever you like with your husband.
Good luck & good bless
- x Kimberly x -
2007-08-29 03:28:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 1 of 5 kids myself and also a mother..... ( I am 31 )
My youngest brother is now 11 and he was the only one of us born at home, although it wasn't planned that way!!! More of a poor time management thing!! lol
My mum swears that was her best birth, all us other kids where round her, my dad was there and she says she was more comfortable because she was in her own home. Once the ambulance men and the midwife were all happy that her and the baby were fine there was no need for her to even go to the hospital with the baby - we were just all left in the house as a family, it wa great!!
Also it's amazing for him to here how he came into the world as my mum still lives in the same house - He is fascinated by the storey!!
If you feel that you want to have your baby at home, provided there are no complications during the birth - go for it. It makes the experience all the more personal. Gud luck !
2007-08-29 01:46:42 · answer #5 · answered by EMA 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations on your baby and good luck with the second child...
I understand exactly how you feel Maddy, my birth was just like that- I totally wanted my husband to get closer and help deliver my baby with me and during my labour (through all my moaning and screaming!) he didn't get a chance to get close- one kiss before my first push and that seemed all. I am also expecting another baby and we have chosen still a hospital bed-birth, but this time my husband will be on the bed with his legs outstretched and I will sit in his legs and give birth like that- that way we are closer and he gets to see exactly whats happening. Good luck with your homebirth- great choice.
Baby Lilianna, 7lb exactly!, April 1st xxx
God bless you & your family- sounds like the baby will be in great hands.
Love Ash xx
2007-08-29 01:51:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I did mine at the hospital and they allowed my husband to do everything he wanted. You just have to voice your wants very clearly to the staff and not allow anyone to push him aside. You are the patient what you want goes above all else no matter what the staff try and get you to do. I wont do a home birth because too many things can go wrong. Its a very big risk giving birth at home even with a mid-wife because they dont have all the equipment to help the baby if they need it. There isn't too much someone other then the person giving birth can do. Massage, rub on lotion, brush hair, get ice chips or other things like that is about all other then holding their hand.
2007-08-29 01:48:01 · answer #7 · answered by Cowgirl 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I didn't have a homebirth but I had my son (first child) in a midwife led birth centre which was like a home from home.
It was a very different experience to what I imagine a hospital would be like. I was the only woman in there at the time (someone else came in just after I'd had my son), so I had the midwife all to myself and the other duty midwife, who had nothing to do, came in and was sitting on the other bed in the room chatting to the midwife who was delivering me about their Christmas lunch ("Shall we have the turkey this year? Sue said the Duck was really nice"!). It was a small, quiet homely sort of atmosphere, I had the TV on and my other half was sitting next to me drinking a cup of coffee! I had no pain releif at all!
To be honest being my first labour I did think at first that I wouldn't be able to do it without drugs - my waters had broken and the contractions came very hard, fast and very very painful but they kept telling me I wasn't dilated and sending me home. I was curled up in agony on the bed, thinking "I can't do this I can't take it". Anyway, after about 5 hours at home a kind midwife (who'd just had me screaming down the phone) agreed to let me come in as she "didn't think I was coping at home".
We went back down to the birth centre, whereupon the midwife put me to bed and sent my other half home so I could get some sleep. I kept teling her I was pushing and she said I "couldn't be" but she'd check me just to make sure. Well on checking she discovered that I was nearly 10cm! So she phoned my other half and got him back.
He was next to me the whole time, mopping my brow and encouraging me. I had intended to have a water birth but to be honest there wasn't really time to fill the pool as as soon as she realised I was 10cm it was time to start pushing and my son was born an hour later.
Afterwards I walked down the hallway, wrapped in a sheet, to my room (ah, bliss! My own room, no shared wards!) had a shower, some toast and a cup of tea, and spent the night watching telly as I was too wired to sleep (wanted to keep looking at my baby!)
I imagine that it wouldn't suit everyone - if you are at home or in a birth centre you obviously won't have the option of an epidural. Plus you will need to be transferred if anything does not go to plan and there are complications. But to be honest I am so glad I did it the way I did - I'm terrified of hospitals and could imagine that being in one would send my stress levels soaring. Plus I really don't like the side effects from drugs so wasn't too keen on having an epidural.
If I manage to have another baby I'm not sure if I would go for a home birth. I preferred being in the birth centre as it was sort of a neutral environment rather than all the stresses and distractions of home. But I might consider it - after having such an easy time of it the first time around I guess I would be a good candidate for homebirth.
Discuss it with your midwife and be very sure of the pros and cons before you decide.
2007-08-29 01:53:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
1st of all good luck. i had my baby in hospital and my husband rubbed my back held my hand gave me words of encouragement he sang to me to keep me calm when the doctor was coming at me with a needle to numb my lady parts!! he fetched me drinks of water or anything i needed but afterwards when we got home he did say he felt a bit helpless not being able to really do anything for the pain i was in and he felt a bit surplus to requirements, i told him he was the most important person in that room with me and i definately couldn't have done as well as i did without him there x
2007-08-29 02:25:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Good luck birthing at home - I hope everything goes well for you and you and your baby are healthy and happy with the experience!
My birth story is kind of funny (and long, sorry :-).
I was almost 2 weeks late and was scheduled for an induction on a Friday. On Tuesday I saw my OB and everything was fine - so that night a bunch of my husband's buddies called him to go for a "guys night out". I told him he should definitely go because it might be the last one he could do for awhile.
He stayed out until almost 2am (very unusual - never did it before and hasn't since ;-) and was dropped off by our neighbor - drunk as a skunk - also very very unusual!
At 4am I went into labor! I tried to wait as long as I could - took a shower, checked my hospital bag, loaded it in the car...Finally I had to wake him up at 5am - but he wouldn't believe me! Kept telling me to go back to bed, I wasn't in labor - I was being induced in 2 days, right? Finally, he woke up enough to see the pain I was in and got in the shower!
When we went to the car he asked if I could drive myself because he was feeling really bad - I just about lost it! I almost bit his head right off - but he ponied up and got behind the wheel - scariest ride of my entire life!!
At the hospital (where he works, by the way) I got great care from my nurses but my husband got even better care! All his buddies were stopping in all day to bring him coffee and take him for meals because they knew he was so hung over! They'd walk in, greet me, and then ask my husband how he was holding up! Typical men!!!
Finally, I had to have a c-section because of fetal distress. Another of my husband's buddies was taking care of me in the delivery suite - when they were delivering the baby I started getting really nauseous. But my hung over husband couldn't figure out how to work the camera - so his buddy hopped up and was helping him take photos - while I'm getting sicker and sicker by the second! Luckily, my nurses noticed how bad I was feeling and got my doc to help me with the nausea - but I keep thinking maybe I should have just thrown up all over him!
In the end everything was fine - we have a beautiful daughter -and I did recieve excellant care from the nurses and docs. My husband is a great dad - and has never stayed out that late since!
2007-08-29 02:00:21 · answer #10 · answered by Mirage 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋