I am married to my wife with one child for 11 years, but recently I have been having thoughts of having sexual relations with other men. What do I do? My wife is already suspicious because I do not make love to her. Do I seek therapy?
2007-08-29 00:41:17 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
If you are looking for therapy to help you come to terms with your feelings then go for it. Or you could try calling the local Lesbian and Gay Switchboard who will be able to help you out.
If you are looking for therapy to stop these feelings - it doesn't exist!!
Good luck - you have some hard decisions ahead!
2007-08-29 00:46:34 · answer #1 · answered by Fluffy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think therapy is going to be the answer. You just like men plain and simple. I'm sure you love your wife, but you just like men. Therapy can't change who you really are. You will just try to convince yourself otherwise if you go to therapy. It's almost like putting something under a pile of mess thinking that if you cover it up good enough it won't be a problem anymore. But, underneath everything it's still there. I suggest you come out and tell your wife. I know it's not what you want to do and it will hurt her, but it's better you be honest with her now and not hurt her later on down the road.
2007-08-29 00:50:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Firstly I think you should remember that it is not wrong for you to have those thoughts. I think the best thing is to ask yourself why you are not making love to your wife. This needs to be resolved as just having sex with a man will not necessarily sort out what may be the original problem. You need to ask yourself why you stopped finding your wife attractive. Perhaps you never got back to the way things were before the birth of your child. All of a sudden you are not your wife's number one priority and you take second place! Also, sex is usually the last thing your wife will be thinking about, having her hands full with her child. Speak to your wife about what you feel. You may even be brave enough to say you have gay thoughts. She may be sympathetic. It will not mean you have to fulfill your fantasy! You may end up having fantastic sex with your wife, especially when she knows you have another intersting side to your personality.
2007-08-29 03:38:09 · answer #3 · answered by Modern Man 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sort out how you feel and who you are. You also got to remeber that your wife and daughter are innocents in all of this. You need to face your feelings and sort them, may be a little professional help will be a good idea here, as unless you face and sort this it will not go away. Dont hang on for the sake of it, and make you your wife and daughtor unhappy, but dont destroy them either, not fair. Take some small steps, seek proffesional guidance, be honest open, and dont do anything foolish like cheat, remember not fair to hurt them anymore than you may have to, some times we have to have a little bad time to get to the good, the only way through is being honest and being true to you and those around you. It wont be easy hun and I wish you look x
2007-08-29 03:13:26 · answer #4 · answered by Maria S © 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow very difficult question...I believe your wife deserves to know the truth...And there are other questions that need to be asked...You are having thoughts but have you ever acted on those thoughts? do you want to act on these thoughts? I am not saying to deny who you are sexually...But please be honest with your wife...decide what it is you want and need before she gets hurt any worse than she will be already. Put yourself in your wifes position as you make these next few decisions and if you havent already dont cheat on her...That only makes things worse! from this day forward be 100% completely honest with her. And give her some emotional down time. You both can decide together if you want to continue your marriage & also what to do about your thoughts and desires...good luck
2007-08-29 01:08:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be honest with her and yourself and yes therapy might be the right answer if you truly still love her and want to stay with her, but not talking about it is just as bad
2007-08-29 00:48:46 · answer #6 · answered by Bee-Anne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes seek therapy. Don't cheat on your wife or withhold sex from her. If you have to, think about being with a guy while having sex with her. At least you both will enjoy the sex.
2007-08-29 09:04:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is a Troll on here insulting SPARKLES. I mean please enought of the bitchy hate. She is so beautiful in real life, you know. I swear this Sister should be a model.
Going back to the question I think you have some problems here that you need to address with your wife.
2007-08-29 01:13:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO NO NO Obliviously you are not gay, think of the consequences for your child let alone your wife, there is certainly a problem with your marriage, i would get help with that first, do not throw away what you already have on an experiment. good luck.
2007-08-29 00:57:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you should try couples therapy. But if you are feeling certain ways towards men, you have to be true to yourself, and her.
2007-08-29 01:33:17 · answer #10 · answered by {{...Ladi...}} 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋