Married women.......How would be handle this?

Question

Your husband's socks around the house, urine on the toilet, empty pop bottles left on the table?? Is it possible to be married and not live together because I have be thinking about it??? Tired of having to ask him to clean behind himself

elvlayarvvi ....are you saying that because you are a SAHM and your husband is working this automatically makes you maid service???

JadeyOz......perhaps this question was too much for your brain LOL I never said I nag him about it and I also never said I was leaving him

Happy-2 Maybe it was too much for your brain also. I DIDNT SAY I was leaving. ..........There are couples in the world that are MARRIED and don't live under the same roof. So no it don't imply that. Who said you have to live in the same household in order to be married. TRY READING A QUESTION BEFORE GIVING AN ANSWER AND I GUESS YOU ARE A "MARRIED WOMAN" BECAUSE I DID SAY MARRIED WOMEN HOW WOULD YOU HANDLE THIS

Answer 1

first of all, i cant believe the people saying that because they stay at home and their husband is the breadwinner they dont mind picking up after them!! that pisses me off that women think its ok to clean up after grown *** men! i have the same problem as you. im a stay at home mom of a 3 yr old and a 1 yr old. and by NO means should I have to pick up after a grown adult also. one time i tried not washing my husbands dirty clothes. you know what happened? NOTHING. so i finally ended up washing them. whatever you do, stick to it. Nag him to f*cking death if you need to. you are his WIFE not his maid.

Answer 2

When you find socks laying around the house, throw them in the trash. Yes, in the trash! He obviously doesn't want them, so throw them away. Leaving urine on the toilet is just plain nasty and you need to tell him, in no uncertain terms, to stop doing this. There's no room for compromise, in this respect. When he leaves empty pop bottles on the table, leave them there. That is, clean up your house as usual and leave the pop bottles where they are. If they pile up, so be it. If visitors ask you why they're on the table, simply say that they belong to your husband and they'll have to ask him.

You have an untidy, lazy husband and I can imagine how stressful it is to live with him. You have to start setting boundaries with this guy. Some things you will accept and others you will not. You will not accept urine on the toilet, under any circumstances; and he needs to understand this. Living with a slob is horrible. I have experienced it myself and I know how frustrating it is. You've got to set boundaries. That's the key to it. Best wishes!

Answer 3

Leave these things where they are; don't clean the toilet and see if he likes living this way. I had the same problem and husband didn't like it when he'd come into the mess. He soon realized how much easier it was if we each cleaned up after ourselves; and the urine on the toilet; well - he just needs to take better aim. In Germany, they painted a fly inside the toilet and found that men aimed for that fly; tis a universal problem.

Answer 4

Socks: get a box, and put them in it. When he runs out of socks, he'll ask where they are and then you tell him. Why did you do that? Because I didn't like to see them lying around. Why didn't you put them away? Because it's not my job to put your socks away.

Bottles: leave them there, they're not hurting anybody.

Urine: work out a schedule to take turns cleaning the bathroom. Figure out the frequency you like it to be cleaned, and then take turns.

I think it was totally uncall-for to say, "JadeyOz......perhaps this question was too much for your brain LOL I never said I nag him about it and I also never said I was leaving him."

At no point did she use the word "nag" in her answer! Furthermore, you did indeed imply that you were considering leaving him -- how else should we interpret, "Is it possible to be married and not live together"? Since you would have to physically move out of the house in order not to live together, then not living together = leaving!

Answer 5

I have the same problems...the same exact problems. One thing I had to remember is that marraige is a vow you make until death do you part, through sickness and health, forbetter or worse. It's an example of God's relationship with the church and how much crap he puts up with from his children. So - forget these other silly comments about leaving him. Do not leave him for something so trivial! If these are your only problems, just talk to him about it, and point it out when he does it (sometimes - don't nag) and he will come around. I've been married two years, and my husband is getting better already. It's not personal dear - it's just a lack of training. Much blessings.

Answer 6

What are you thinking?
You would leave for dirty socks and his not knowing about cleaning up with a tissue?

What about love and affection? Apparently that does not exist in your mind either.

You know it is very difficult to find that person who you can love and live with on an emotional level.
On the other hand, as a guy, he does not want to live with his mother. Living with a nag is even worse.

You are thinking about moving out because he leaves his mark on his own house and it intrudes on your mother hen instincts?
This seems a bit shallow and that you don't really love him.
In the big picture these "crimes" matter not.
Does he take care of the big things? Why don't you figure out how to affect positive change. It sounds like he has absolutely no reason to accomidate you.

Your acting like his mother is not helping you and it is driving a wedge between you. Stop It.

If this minor issue is getting in the way what happens with the big stuff?

I know this, no guy wants to be harped on about things which he views as inconsequential. I'm sure that this is coupled with an attitude that he is somehoe unworthy. You might as well take your shallow affection and leave because this stuff will prevent you from living with any guy.

Throwing away a marriage for dirty socks, Shame On You.

Answer 7

I would sit him down very nicely and tell him that it would mean a lot to you if he made more of an effort to pick up after himself. If he works full-time, he's probably too tired from work that he feels the need to let go and be lazy once in a while. I used to work full-time, and this bothered me too. However, once I scaled down to part-time to raise a family, it was our mutual understanding that I would take care of the household chores while he brought in the primary income outside the home. If you ask him in a non-defensive way to be a little more tidy, he should respond if he cares about your feelings. After all, taking care of a home and kids is the hardest job there is, and any little bit of help is appreciated!
But as for the urine on the toilet, I would give up asking him to clean it up. So many men do that, and no matter how clean they are, they won't clean that up! I finally gave in and thought to myself, "If I don't clean up the pee on the toilet, my luxury bathroom is really going to reek!"

P.S. The new lemon antibacterial Windex smells really good!

Answer 8

I am a stay at home mommy and my spouse works. I do not mind picking up after him because I know he works hard and plus, I am not the breadwinner, he is, so I feel that I have to pull my weight in the family. No point of hiring a maid when I can do it myself. When I do pick up after him and clean up and make dinner he always appreciates it so I don't have a problem.
I guess if cleaning up and picking up after your spouse is a problem, maybe you should tell him that you won't make dinner until he closes the toilet lid and wipes it or your not gonna make him his favorite dessert until he picks up his socks and put the pop bottles in the recycling bin. Maybe he just needs motivation.

Answer 9

Label a small basket for his socks and leave it next to the shoe rack or front door. He can't miss it.
Pop bottles left on the table, another basket right next to the table, labelled of course. He can't miss that either.
Urine on the toilet? Just put on your gloves and wipe it off.

Answer 10

Anything is possible.

I have the same problem. I moved away from my husband. We got back together 7 years later.

He's not perfect. Neither am I.

It's easier now. He has improved a little.

If you really love each other, it is worth trying to find a compromise.

Don't sweat the small stuff.