I’m 50, she 44, at first (for 6mths or so) we would do it every night or so. She was so HOT I mean really Crave this between us. At some point around a year she told me " this will slow down because we had no partners for 5 yrs and we "both" craved it because of the drought, 2 years later we now do it once every 2- 3 months, Well I crave it the same as before with her, I love everything about her and love doing all things together with her, Especially this very personal thing. I really dig her, Iv told how I feel, She’s said she on a skin med that causes low libido but sounds like a excuse, I’m really not pressuring her but I still want to be close in this way, Iv had this talk (about doing it more often) many times, Sometimes I said it perfectly sometimes not, after going to sleep for the 300th time in a sweat, well Its a problem. Today I overheard someone say "no need to bait the hook, fish is in the boat" is that what this is? Someone help me understand this, am i wrong?
2007-08-28
21:41:51
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19 answers
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asked by
john g
2
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Marriage & Divorce
providing you are both not too tired there is no reason that you cannot have it every night.
i would if i could get my 6 month old baby to bed before midnight,but even now i manage it 2 to 3 times a week and offer my husband extras on the nights i cant be bothered.
she could do with going to the doctors if her libido has diminished,it could be her meds,if so he will change them.
maybe she just isnt into it anymore.only she can tell you that.
bear in mind im only 30 so maybe your sex drive drops by the time you hit 45,but the way i feel about my husband,i doubt it will drop for me.sorry.
2007-08-28 21:50:35
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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Certain medications do cause a low libido so that may not just be an excuse. And frequency of sex as a relationship goes on does commonly slow down.
Since you are in a relationship and these are give and take, you both need to take each others needs into consideration. Once every 3 months or so is very little, but it may not be as good if your partner just "does it whether she wants to or not".
Have you slowed down romancing her? Maybe she doesn't get the attention she did when the 2 of you began?
As far as the fish comment, they mean she doesn't have to give you sex as often now that she has you. Don't listen to that. It's insensitive and very likely not true.
2007-08-29 04:54:10
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answer #2
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answered by wandknut1488 2
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craving for sex is a natural happening in all living beings I mean humane and animals. But initially the intensity will be definitely more. For years what you are looking for is reaching to your hand with a licence. After some time, conceiving a child and delivery it will be reduced to certain extent but then again you can experience new things when ur wife delivers a child. Here again controlled sex gives more pleasure. One should not show their craveness everytime. Like a bee is attracted to honey in the flower. You keep some thing special for your wife every time when you approach her for sexual activities. Many a people tried for sex only in the bedroom that too mostly on nights. Why can't you try in the morning if your wife is willing. I mean she will definitely willing to do all depends on your approach. Again every day sex is not advisable at this age. I am 47 and my wife 39 we go for sex most every three or four days. But I experiment with new new things but the same old tried and tired methods.
You must know like a child how to play with a toy of various types and makes - some need screwing, some need pushing.... that's what it means
2007-08-29 06:03:43
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answer #3
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answered by BLOWHOT 3
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It sounds like that may be the case, fish in the boat.
It also sounds like she made up her mind that this is how it was to be.
Its up to you to make it clear that you need that intimacy and may not be able to continue without it.
There may be a number of reasons for this including menopause. Eliminate the physical. Then work on the head.
Once every 2 months is not enough for any man I know of.
How about 2 or 3 per week? That may be more than is possible for her.
The biggest erotic zone is between the ears, it sounds like the problem is there.
2007-08-29 07:20:27
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answer #4
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answered by Flagger 6
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Every two to three months seems like a long time. I'm a 50-year-old woman and if my boyfriend wanted sex only once every 2-3 months I would feel that I must not be very sexy.
I don't understand the "fish is in the boat" analogy.
2007-08-29 04:58:14
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answer #5
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answered by Kittenpaw 3
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Sex in the beginning is what brings you too together and then eventually love. You know things happen that get in the way of sex. stress, bills, arguments, hormones but as long as you do it your okay. I would suggest taking a romantic approach once a week, do something different, run a bath with candles, a massage,, a sexy dance, and this way she will Not be able to turn you away. also If you do it once a week than each week she will be curious as to what your going to do next time and welcome you more.. also she might get creative and try to top what you did. in all else don't stop loving her it mught just be the medicine let her know youlove her still and it'll work out
2007-08-29 04:52:11
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answer #6
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answered by want-my-advice 2
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There is no "normal" and women don't crave the same as men. It's hormones, nature has a way to slow people down, especially women. If you really look into it, women slow down around forty, to forty five, fifty.
She can go to the doctor, he'll check her hormone level and maybe adjust it, that may help but, don't count on it.
Ask yourself, "did you marry your wife for sex or, you fell in love with her" then abide for her feelings and love her, adjust to her.
When you hit 60, you hold hands more, you hug more and cuddle.
Women also have changes, like drying and less feelings, that doesn't mean they don't love, it just changes for them, before you, mother nature can be cruel.
2007-08-29 06:41:29
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answer #7
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answered by cowboydoc 7
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yes it slows down about there.
3 years into your relationship? 50 years old?
3-4 times a month. I would try to establish a "date night" where you do something like watch cinemax together which is what I tried to do and worked well for a year.
2007-08-29 06:18:48
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answer #8
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answered by Dari-O 2
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The person who said 'no need to bait the hook, fish is in the hook' was definitely a fisherman/fisher woman but not a 'married spouse'. And these fishermen/fisher women weigh everything with flesh (physical sex) not with feeling (love). Hope you understand now.
Normal amount is 'that which makes both of you happy and satisfied, specially she i.e. wife'.
2007-08-29 04:52:38
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answer #9
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answered by sv 7
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To rekindle her fire you need a total new approach to
sex. I don't know from which country you are but they
train individually as well as for couples in USA, NEW
ZEALAND, AUSTRALIA & UK. Visit www.tantra@
tantra.co.nz or www.blisstantra.com or www.blisscoach.
com/Tried_coaching_session.html. If she doen't agree
to that then a visit to tantra-goddess who will really
teach you how to light her fire. You will never regret
the time and money spent there. Visit tantragoddess
unveiled.com. Happy learning and good luck.
2007-08-29 06:26:38
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answer #10
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answered by Sudhakar B 5
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