Am I insane for being tired of this?

Question

I am 19, I have 2 children, and my husband is in Iraq. I love my children and I love my husband but I don't know if I can do this army thing any more. We've been married for two years. He joined the army a few months before we got married and he loves it. But it is not for me I just want a nice normal life as selfish as it sounds. But telling him not to reenlist makes me feel terrible. How can I make someone I love choose between a job he loves and the person he loves?

Answer 1

Your Husband should do whatever makes you and your family happier...

Write a letter to him trying him how you feel and that you need him back home...

♥

Answer 2

u married very early at a time when most women your age are jsut starting to find out what they want in life. yoru husband has been able to do that tho am wondering how old he is. when someone has a passion it makes life so much better. asking him to drop something he loves and that goves him a good income will turn him into a bitter person. what shoudl he come home to do? will he get the pay and the satisfaction he does from being in the army?

u need to look at your own life now. perhaps its not the army life u hate but the aloneness of your situation. u are a mother tied to the hoem while girls ur age are out there living life. what did u want to be before u got married? what can u stil be apart from mummy? sit down and honestly list your dreams and ambitions and start to do something about them. don't put your best years on hold for the day your husband MAY leave his job

Answer 3

I'm just amazed that you're 19, a year younger than me, and have two kids already! Anyway, my dad's currently working in Iraq and he has been for the past year. He has left my mom, me and 3 of my siblings to work there. It is tough on all of us, but it's something he has to do because it's the only job he could find after getting laid off from a car company. It all depends on your situation. If your husband has other options, maybe you SHOULD bring it up to him and help him consider his other options? You're still young and you just got married recently. Your children are still so young. This is the best time for the both of you to be spending together and watching your kids grow up. You don't want him to be missing out on their most precious years. If he truly loves you, he'll at least hear you out and take it into consideration that you're somewhat hurting and would prefer him to be home with you and the children.

Answer 4

The military provides a lot of very lucrative benefits for your family that other jobs may not provide. To reenlist, they give a huge bonus which would be a down payment on a nice home. If, however, it is too hard for you, you need to have a long talk with your hubby. Tell him how stressful it is for you, and try to get him to understand that you would not be asking him to give it up if you felt that you could survive it. Don't feel alone. there are many women in your position right now.

Answer 5

I was 20 when I married my husband. I had 1 son and I was pregnant with our daughter. He was in the airforce. I knew that he couldnt be deployed and was getting medically discharged. If he was deployable, I couldnt have married him. It would be too much stress for me having 2 kids by myself for 8-12 months at a time. Lots of our friends are still military and they say it gets easier with each deployment. I dont see how they do it, but they do. Probably because of the other wives. True that you have the benefits and blah blah, and I dont know about you, but all of our medical care we have gotten from the military SUCKED and pissed me off everytime we went to the pediatricians or ER or whatever. I'd rather not have their insurance. Anyways there are things you gotta weigh. I personally do not think you are wrong at all for wanting him to not reinlist. He should want to be there to see his kids grow up. He can always find another job that he loves. He will never get that time back away from his kids and you.

Answer 6

I'm a navy wife so I understand the situation. The military life is not easy especially the way things are right now.

I think that alot times women that get married young don't discuss these thing first. But neither here not there, now you two really need talk about things are important to you.

I think that as his wife and the woman who raising his child you have every right to ask him to reconsider reenlisting. Just tell him, I love you, I love our children, but I think that it's going to be really difficult for me to continue to live this military life.

Communicate.

I know that deployments are horrible, and tough and I know it's really easy to want to give up. I'm going through my second deployment and I would love to tell you that it gets easier but it doesn't.

Don't give up. You got married because you made the promise..."For better or for worse"

Answer 7

Sounds like you had sacrificed quite a fair bit this past years. You are one generous gal and mum. Definitely your hubby is quite selfish to think of his own interest first before the family. Now. don't get me wrong...there aint nothing wrong being a professional soldier, in fact its a great career.
But in your case, it sounds that the wife and children had been neglected.
The problem could be both of you had married too young. You are just 19 and already has 2 kids. Its quite difficult to move on with 2 kids in toll.
You got to make it clear to him.

Answer 8

you are still young. Give your husband time to do what he like. As you say he is your husband so you have to support him. As for you dont worry too much. Enjoy your life cause maybe someday you will regret it for not doing those things while you were still young. Im not telling you to go with other guys or make party every night. Every week take your kids out (like church, park or visit your relatives). Improve yourself more. Study, go to school again. Atleast if you are going to do this you will be less upset. Choose your career and work so both of you are working for your future. Then in due time if you have enough money then thats the time to talk to him about his job. Atleast you can give him other options before telling him to quit to his military works. Be strong and Pray! Good luck!

Answer 9

I'm 19 with 2 kids also. My hubby is in the Air Force and I really like it. You have to think about the Army lifestyle. Where else can your family get all the benefits and pay in the civilian world? If he loves it then you should stick by him. You could talk to him about switching branches or get involved in spouses clubs etc. on post. E-mail me if you need anyone to talk to I know how lonely it can get being by yourself with kids all the time.

Answer 10

Honey, you knew what you were getting into before you got married, right? I know you might not have thought it would be that hard... but you have to support your love one's choices. That is his choice, that is his life and you have to accept it. Making him choose is being selfish. On the other side, vote for Democrats and bring the soldiers home!

Answer 11

You're 19. You're married, with 2 kids.

I'm 19, and I'm just starting University. At the moment, your entire life has been dictated by circumstance. Maybe it's time to do something YOU want? At this point, it's SO much more important that you get what you want out of life, instead of living a dull, un-satisfactory existance just to make someone feel better.

not cool!!!