how am i supposed 2bring a guy of a different race home n show him 2my traditional n some wat racist family?

Question

wow, i got about 25 responses in about 10 mnts. tnk u all. da thing is, im 22 yrs old, ive been w/this guy for 1yr n 8 mnts now. i love him alot n he feels da same way. da second month of us datin, he asked me 2 move in and then marry him n stuff. his family loves me n includes me in everything.(family trips, dinners, vacations, wedding, etc) he is such a nice guy, great job, great education, smart, drug free. and in training to go pro next year by participatin in da olypmics. i personally dont care about what they think anymore cause they want me 2b just how they r, racist n old school, but da thing is, i grew up w/not much of family members and i dont want my kids 2 have dat in da future. i am plannin on marryin this guy if everything goes well a year from now. he is 25 yr old independent guy who knows what he wants n goes 4 it. but i am da only granddaughter in da family and they all r rootin 4 me 2 find a nice man from our messed up race. i read all ur comments, so, thank you all.

Answer 1

racist ain't traditional. bring him home and tell 'em to shut their faces.

Answer 2

If you know they will not accept him and you are over eighteen and on your own do as you please and don't worry about bringing him home to meet them. Enjoy your life and when invited for family gatherings decline and tell them you and your bf will be having your own non racist gathering and they are welcome to attend. Eventually some of them will come around and the others can buzz off.
If you are still a minor, you need to follow the rules in your parents home and get through school and then get a job and move out and you can do as you like. Not get all dramatic and run away or quit school to be with this guy. If you two think you are in love than him waiting for you is nothing, he will gladly wait for you to be free from parents rule. Love is not just wanting to be with someone. It is wanting the best for them, even if you are inconvenienced. It is making sure the one you love gets that education and becomes someone and not pressuring them to blow everything for you.
Racism sucks big time but when you are a minor, short of throwing away your future like a two year' old having a tantrum over not getting a cookie, there isn't much you can do that will not be conterproductive to your future. And he won't want you to if he truly loves you.

Answer 3

That is a very interesting question. There are a few things that need to be addressed first though. One of them is... why would you want to bring him to your home and family? Another is... is he willing to meet you family with the prior knowledge of their personal racial views? And finally... should you decide to follow through with this effort what will you do with your friend if the family totally rejects the idea?

Now, the planned family journey should not be a surprise to anyone. Let your family know what you intend to do before you do it. You will get a good reading on how they feel about such a journey undertaken by you.

In conclusion... don't begin a project of this magnitude without intending to follow it to its natural conclusion. Sometimes people can be led to change by members of their family. Be true to yourself first of all though. Good luck.

Answer 4

Don't do it right away. Your best bet is to talk about him first. Not his race of course, but all the wonderful qualities about him. Then once you have introduced that...you can let them know he is of a different race. Don't just bring him home and wait for the eruption of emotions and tension. State your case and then if they don't accept it, go out with him, but don't force them to love the idea. I know, sounds like a lot of compromise, but life is complicated. If something doesn't work, you work around it. You keep happy while keeping them at bay.

Answer 5

Houstan we have a situation... You cant bring him home when you know wat the problem is. You have to talk to your parents and let them know he's a gentlemen and respects you. Tell them he really wanted to meet your family. You should only bring him home after u can sense that your family is more or less ok when u talk about him. Bringing him home when your family isnt ready is a bad idea coz i truly believe that 1st impressions stay for a long time... It might really sour their future relationship if things go bad...

Answer 6

I was in the same situation with my family. Im white, and my bf is mixed, one side of my family was always talking badly about blacks and saying vulgar language all my life, but the other, nicer side always taught me that everyone is God's children, it doesnt matter who you love, because you cant help it. My advice is to take it slow, one day at a time. You might mention it to them that your dating a man of another race, let them hear it first, tell them that your not interested in what they think about the fact of his color, that you are only interested if they want you to be happy. Eventually you will have to let them meet, that might be awkward at first but I think you will be fine. Make sure your bf is himself around them, let him talk for himself things like that. It might take some time but your family will either accept it or just deal with it if you make it clear that its what you want and you stand your ground.
Best of luck, God bless!

Answer 7

Don't put him or yourself through all of that unless you are really serious about the guy. If you are, tehn tell your parents that you would like for them to meet someone that you care for a lot. warn them that he is a different race, and ask them to be nice to him, and not hurt his feelings. Warn him that your family is racist, and that he may be somewhat uncomfortable when meeting them.

Answer 8

Just tell them ahead of time you are bringing him home and if they love you then they will respect him with the same respect they want themselves he is no different than they are except maybe a little better for not being racist himself.

Answer 9

If you really love him, then don't worry about what everyone
else has to say. After all, it's your life and it's your relationship.
I'm sure you would love to have the support of your family
with this relationship, but they might not be as "supportive"
as if he was from the same race. At first they might find it
akward, but eventually they'll get used to him. :p

Answer 10

Oh boy...that's a tough one! Sounds like my family...lol. Sit down & have a serious talk with them beforehand. Tell them that you really care for this guy & you expect them to give him the same respect they give you. If you like him then they should trust your judgement that he's a good person regardless of his race. Best of luck!

Answer 11

My dear, why would you do that to the guy? That is very rude and inconsiderate. If you are going to get engaged or married then that is different. To have such parents that feel that way I question why you want them to meet him...