I'm not going to say who thinks what, because that would be pointless. But I was really upset when I heard his opinion of things. Could this ruin our relationship?
2007-08-28 17:21:27 · 10 answers · asked by LivingDeadKat 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
gadfly: So, I'm the one that's pro-choice? How did you come about that deduction? Is it because I'm a female, and as a female, I lack morals? That's very intelligent of you.
2007-08-28 17:44:51 · update #1
First, I wanted to comend you for not saying what side you or your boyfriend take on this issue I think it shows that you are being mature and fairly and evenly considering this situation.
Moral, religous, ethical, finacial questions aside the most important question you should ask is if you were to become pregnant would your boyfriend support you and your decision either way?
The issue of abortion is of course a heated one that is often split by gender. And alot of posters have said the decision is solely yours. I have to disagree. My father once told me "A man is there at the beginning he should be there at the end." That has always stuck with me.
If a man leaves he gives up his right to make decisions.
You need to sit down and frankly discuss with your boyfriend what he would do in the situation of you getting pregnant. He needs to respect your decision as it is your body and hopefully he will not force you either way.
If you were to become pregnant you both as a couple not as individuals should be prepared to deal with the life changes and responsiblities.
To be honest with you this disagreement could ruin your realtionship but only if you let it. Don't allow this discussion to affect other aspects of your realtionship. Don't break up with him or let him break up with you based solely on ths disagreement.
Unless you are not practicing safe sex and run the risk of getting pregnant this whole issue is hypothetical one anyway.
2007-08-28 18:00:19 · answer #1 · answered by Hist-Nerd1 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, the "abortion" for or against, debate will go on for ever. It's a personal and private matter that the person who is pregnant should have the final say in! The only strong view I have, is that abortion should not be used as a form of contraception; I do know a person that does! If your boyfriend cannot accept that you have a different opinion on any matter whatsoever, then chuck him! That is like telling you that you're stupid or can only do what he does, think what he thinks etc., There's a name for that "CONTROL FREAK". If you believe in anything that strongly, it does not matter what anyone else thinks - an opinion is like an ....hole - everyone has got one, but they're all different! Be proud to speak your mind, and make sure when you put your view across you know your facts and can do it in a polite, calm, intelligent manner. Many will agree, just as many will disagree, that's what debates are for.
2007-08-28 20:08:16 · answer #2 · answered by CHRISTINE O 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lets cut to the chase about the abortion issue. I think everyone can agree a mother killing a BORN baby is a horrible crime no matter how inconvenient the baby has made the mothers life. We can all agree a BORN baby has the right to life. What about 5 mins before it was born? 10 mins? an hour? a day? It all boils down to where you think a child has a right to live.
In our society we define the end of life as being when brain activity ceases (brain death). This is a clear and honest marker. So why do people try and make murky were life begins? Clearly if there is brain activity it is alive. Living humans have a right to not be harmed.
The problem comes when 2 humans rights collide as in the abortion issue. If a womans life is in danger, then it seems clear that a the abortion is saving a live (albeit at the unavoidable cost of another). However if it is just a matter of convenience, should one human die because another one found them inconvenience for 9 months?
I know women like to pretend all these issues don't exist and its a womans rights issue. And I know many men don't care about the life of a baby enough to say anything, or they are glad to not have to pay for raising the kid.
Obviously you don't want to say it, but your boyfriend is prolife. This offends you because of your simplistic view that its anti woman. Of course this is not true as half of aborted babies are women. Your boyfriend had enough strength in his morals to stand up for the lives of unborn babies, even knowing it might upset you.
You should be glad he is a man of morals and conviction! It is sad that "pro choice" people don't honestly look at the moral dilemma and somehow wrap it in the false sense of womans rights. What Andrea Yates did to her kid would have been welcomed by NOW if she only had killed them in the womb.
I know I will get flagged down many points by posting this, but like your boyfriend I am an honest person, perhaps something you dont like in people.
2007-08-28 17:41:30 · answer #3 · answered by gadfly 5 · 0⤊ 4⤋
It shouldn't ruin your relationship as long as you're both responsible and careful enough to make sure this remains only a political and philosophical debate....(and as long as you're both adult enough to recognize that people can have different points of view without it necessarily being divisive.) Where it will become a problem between you is if you're put in a real situation where you have to act on divergent points of view and convictions. The solution is simple: never let that happen (keep your birth control measures proactively in place).
2007-08-28 17:38:45 · answer #4 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is what dating is all about....To learn about that person. Likes, dislikes, etc. But flushing a baby down the drawn is a big issue, don't you think? Just like to have kids or no kids, to be a christian or atheist.
2007-08-28 17:36:45 · answer #5 · answered by Cinnamon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've seen more trivial things wreck a relationship. Sad but true.
If you can't both just agree to disagree, you're in trouble.
2007-08-28 17:52:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely. If you don't agree on an issue as important as abortion, you don't belong together.
2007-08-28 17:27:20 · answer #7 · answered by Jeff A 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only if you end up pregnant and can't agree on how to handle it.
2007-08-28 17:26:36 · answer #8 · answered by Jill R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you end up pregnant, just remember its YOUR decision what to do about it, not his. You're the one that's carrying it.
2007-08-28 17:28:02 · answer #9 · answered by Wolf Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It id YOUR body, abortion may damage your insides. Think about YOUR health. You can always put the baby up for adoption. Abortion is murder.
2007-08-28 17:27:18 · answer #10 · answered by Coll C 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋