My Marriage?

Question

I recently got remarried for the second time. Thinking that i found someone who finally who could relate to me. Because rust has always been an issue in my relationships, it took me a while to make the decision to get remarried. I am a good, faithful woman to him in EVERY way not only sexual. Lately I have been seeing him post things to different females on myspace that I feel is innappropriate. We both have pages but I tell all my guy friends upfront to respect my husband. Now i feel like if he will do it online he will do it in person if he had the chance. I feel like i should have stayed single. Am i over reacting?

He asked this one female for her number and she said what about your wife he said GIVE ME UR NUMBER she was like no need to get hostile ok and gave it to him. It was on our phone bill. You know he claimes it was a relative

All of my friends on my page are people i went to school with, family, or celebrities. I have talked to him about it, but it seems as though he is trying to hide things.

Answer 1

MY+SPACE = YOUR TROUBLE... There is no reason for married people to maintain myspace pages unless they are keeping their options open.

Answer 2

I have some online friends that are female, but this is through hobby oriented message boards only (photography.) They are NOT "chat" type forums. I would never ask for a woman's phone number. I have met one or two of these online friends while we were on family vacation, but I made sure they brought their husbands too and I introduced them to my wife. (They had some great outdoor photo tips for where they lived.) Your guy is well over the line IMO. I do think you have a real problem, and part of it is your husband isn't putting you first in his life, as he should.

Here's what I suggest. You both go to marriage counseling and discuss it with a trained professional, someone you don't know so they have no favorites. I think that you BOTH should give up the My Space thing. Aren't they mainly oriented to singles anyway? Maybe you could both have a family website.


Kent in SD

Answer 3

Nope, I do not think you are over reacting I would feel the same way. How long have yall been married? If he is in love, why would he be doing this? If you are the one, what he expecting from these other girls? Do they know he is married, is any of your pictures of you and him together on there? Have you told him how you feel about it? I would tell him and see what he says maybe he does not understand your feelings toward it, and if he knows that this is bothering you, then he should stop, if he doesnt then he doesnt care about your feelings. And this will cause alot of trust issues. Tell him how you feel, and see what happens, I honestly think that mayspace is just for hook ups... my thought toward that. Maybe I am wrong, but I really do not think it is any where married people should be,. Yall should be spending every moment together, and not on no myspace. that is just my thought. Anyway good luck, I know that these people are just on the internet, but I have heard alot of people that get involved in this internet thing, end up meeting people and goes DOWN HILL from there.

Answer 4

I am in my first marriage and I always feel like a do have some trust issues, basically though it is because it is how I was before I met him.

We have boundaries. He does not go anywhere with out me .like bars parties places where singer people congrate. I would never get a my space page just because I know it could probably cause some problems with my marriage. I also know he would not get one either. Point being set some boundaries with your hubby discuss this matter with him. If that is the way He felt ., Why did he propose?

Answer 5

ok... I read what you asked... I read answers you got. Im also marriend for the 2nd time. We both came from cheating ex's. Just a little about me. Now... I agree you need to let him know how you feel. Thow hes a man you might not get the responce that you would love to get, and you might. But every once in awhile a squral gets a nut... meaning... He should be able to leason now & then and see your hurt. As far as you 2 having myspace. I saw one that said... if your old enought to get marriend your to old to have myspace. WHAT ! Has she seen myspace? NOT FOR KIDS, but with that also said. Might be what gets your husbands attention. As one said he might be going thier for fanticy... maybe, but this is what you said that kinda pissed me off... If he got a woman number after she asked about you... what ever... now for him to lie and say it was a relative... if you know that is a lie... Id Wonder about him... sorry honey. My 1st devorce sucked so I really feel sorry if that is where this is headding for you. But truly if its a marriage wourth keeping he will respect you... and they are out their. I'll admit im a bit playful, but I keep nothing from my husband. I would never want to hurt my marriage. Thow thier is no reason why you or my husband has to be ok with that. Im just saying I can talk from both sides of the coin. If my husband was you and was having problems I would end myspace, and do what one person said as advice... give a kiss and lie in bed nacked... hee hee. Thow we do that. I flirt... but nothing ever in person, and if it did... my man would be with me. Couples means: working together... you marriend them, you stand with them. Im sure i sound like a two face person... I dont know how to put it maybe. Im a loving wife really I am. Good luck... I hope I was able to help you.

Answer 6

IMO it's not important what he posts or says online. So you don't have to worry about trying to watch and worry. Just keep your antenna up about your relationship with him. Do you feel like he's pulling away? Or are you two as good as ever? Talking, spending time together, ect.
If you're used to a close friendship with your SO, you will know if he is pulling away.
You should talk to him. And listen to what he's getting from his online play. Maybe he is 'looking around'. Or maybe he doesn't want to hurt you, has no intention of cheating and doesn't know you're upset. Find out which it is before you jump.

Answer 7

It may seem obvious, but have you talked to HIM about this?
Does he know how you feel about his postings, and that they are inappropriate? Because he might feel its a bit of harmless fun, and NOT know that it upsets you. Are perhaps your trust issues coloring your view of this? After all you do talk to your guy friends on the Net too.
Is he aware of your "Guy friends" and is maybe feeling a little threatened by them? Have you asked him how he feels about them? Would you be willing to stop talking to them if he felt threatened? (Because that may be what you want him to do). Have you told him that they are nothing in your life compared to him? Or is there a little tit for tat going on here?

Whatever the questions are, the only ones who can truly answer them are the two of you. Get it resolved NOW, before it eats away at your relationship.

Answer 8

the truth may hurt but here i go sometimes men need a little fantasy in life. just because he is on line doesnt mean he would cheat,join in and see what all he is saying now if phone numbers start popping up then you know what you need to do.he may want you to join in the fantasy with him but if hes hiding things from you do the same thing back two can play at that game see how he likes it but dont jump to any conclusions good luk

Answer 9

if you are worring about, then it needs to be adressed. i have a semi-open relationship and i will tell you that this will only lead to problems. it takes 2 to make a relationship work, he needs to be more honest with you about what he is doing. i never go behind my wifes back and do any thing, i talk to her first and boundries and limitations are set. he might be just getting a rise out of talking, nothing to worrie about.............but you should be much a part of it as he is, or there will be problems. i hope the best for you.

Answer 10

I don't think you are. Have you talked to him about it and how it bothers you.what does he say.You should if you haven't his reactions and actions from that point on will show you if you should stay in this.I am so sorry that you are having to go through crap in another marriage.if he is don't hesitate to get rid of him you don't need a fake person that doesn't care about your feelings or that is willing to hurt you.but don't give up on love there is someone out there that will love you the way you deserve.good luck

Answer 11

No I do not think that you are overreacting, however, i would suggest that you talk to him (not while you are mad) when you have a cool head and let him know how you feel. If he attempts to resolve this and make you feel secure in your marriage than you definitely have a winner. If he thinks that your feelings are not valid then just get clarity on what trust an fidelity means in your marriage.