I tried this in a different section, but I didn't get any answers and thought to try my luck here..
My problem is that I never had closure with the last man I was in a relationship with, and it all has really left me confused.. to fill you in on it I haven't spoken/seen him for 3 months now. I called him the day after we had a disagreement and I didnt get an answer.
I think of him often, and sometimes I feel a bit melancholy, and I hate being this way. Now, I want to write him a letter, letting him know how I feel about the way things turned out. I don't feel the need for him to answer it, nor do I want to make him feel guilty about it. I just want to express my feelings place it in his mailbox and just walk away completely ..
I guess I have the idea in my head that maybe that would help me move on .. What do you think?
2007-08-28 15:08:08 · 7 answers · asked by Patty melt 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Firt off, it's not uncommon to feel this way after a relationship. The feelings you are getting are normal. Sad to say only time can heal this feeling. One way to go about this is the letter writing, but there is a better way. Write your letter, expressing everything your feeling. I mean everything! Date the letter, sign it, and even put it in the envelope. Address the envelope to him, and also put your return address the same way you will actually send out a real one. BUT DO NOT SEND IT... Instead, lite it on fire, and actually sit and watch it burn. You will get all those repressed feelings out, and you dont have to send it to him making him feel bad. I learned his in college, PSYC 250. It works, you'll feel the emotions extinguish as the letter burns.
2007-08-28 15:23:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whoa totally went through the same situation and 3 1/2 years later HE CALLED ME!! (left a message) I was in love with this guy and thought about him constantly. Once he left me the message I realized (1) I'm better off without him (2) he was a complete moron.
I was glad he called cause I knew he thought of me to but obviously it didn't work out the first time so why would it be any different this time. DON'T WRITE HIM A LETTER! If he broke it off then screw him.
But if you feel it is worth it just think... is he really worth your time??
2007-08-28 22:21:41 · answer #2 · answered by elims4ever 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We all need to put closure on things. If you think that letting him know how you feel will help you go on you should do it. But one advice do not put anything related to loving him or feeling bad about being away from him. Concentrate on the habits that drove him away from you that he did not acknowledge. But the real question that you should answer is that how much of your life is directly involved on his feeling towards you. The melancholy I think has to do with identifying him as a important part of your life. But be careful with that or else you will not have strength to go on.
2007-08-28 22:35:44 · answer #3 · answered by Dude.. 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Write the letter and then throw it in the fireplace or shredder. The next night, write another and do the same thing. Do this nightly until you are either tired of writing to him or you start seeing things in a different way. Get on with your life. Hearts are complicated. Especially good ones. You deserve closure. You can create it yourself. Be good to yourself.
2007-08-28 23:06:03 · answer #4 · answered by guitarrman45 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would probably help you feel better if you wrote the letter and didn't even give it to him.
Writing things down seems to help people get things straight in their mind, just seeing it on paper.
You could even write down all the things you don't like about him and why you split up.
Then keep the paper as long as you need to and refer to it if you need to.
I did that after a divorce and it helped a lot. Especially when he wanted the divorce and then wanted me back. I could go back to the paper and remember just what happened in the first place. Sometimes we forget.
2007-08-28 22:31:42 · answer #5 · answered by Tigger 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Holy Cow! Do I understand where your coming from. My ex left me on Valentine's day morning before I was awake! I wake up and all of his things were gone, no note, no nothing. It took me 2 weeks until I finally got him on the telephone to explain himself. He said that he got up and decided that the relationship was over. I said it would have been nice to inform me!
I was torn up to say the least. Yes, Yes , Yes write your letter, burn all the pics you have of him, just perge him from your life. No one deserves to be treated like that!
2007-08-28 22:48:36 · answer #6 · answered by Tam Tam 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Very few relationships have closure. sorry
2007-08-28 23:06:55 · answer #7 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋