What's the general rule about family and money?

Question

I have a 35 y/o brother. (I'm 41). Last year he got himself into a very difficult financial situation. I felt really bad for him. He moved in my city cause there's a lot of jobs here. I forwarded the money for him to move and settle. He found a good job right away. At first it was hard for him (he said) so I would help with his month's end also. Now it's been 8 months since he works and he's still asking for money from time to time. I'm starting to feel like a bank machine! Needless to say I have my own responsibilities to face.

Did I do right by giving him the money or I should of let him fetch for himself even if he is my brother?

@ Bill: ...You do not have to answer every question on here. When one question does not inspire in you any useful advice you can abstain.

Carolina ma belle: Merci pour ton message, je pose des questions dans les deux langues...:)

Answer 1

It is always good to help for a good reason. He is your brother so you should help out. However helping out means when he really needs help down and out. If he does not need help and ask for help for the sake of asking, then if you continue to give him the money, then this is not called help. This will be term as spoiling him and feeding his urge to ask for more and more money.
You can help him by not giving in to his demand. If you think that is too much for you to handle. You can reduce the amount each time he ask.. and slowly reducing it until such a stage he will slowly adapt to stand on his own feet.

take care.

Answer 2

Seriously gone for himself. That would have been the best thing to do. I mean I know you are supposed to be there for family but I'm starting to believe that is only emotionally at times. Because the more we give something physical like money away to them they keep coming back for more, time and time again. And if you were to ask them for that kind of help I'm sure you wouldn't even find them around. Or they would complain that you are always begging them for stuff and not as independent as you said you were. So best never to open that door at all. Just leave it closed and left at that.

Answer 3

Help is one thing, enabling his irresponsibility with money is quite another. Eric's idea is a great one. But I suggest you also Buy him Dave Ramsey's book, "The Total Money Makeover". www.daveramsey.com

THis book changed how I look at money and should be a good start for him to get on his own.

Good Luck

Answer 4

You did right, but start asking him if you can borrow money from him .
PS never give some one money you expect to get back.
and if he asks for money say gee I was just going to ask if yu could lend me some money , but do not give any more to him

Answer 5

WEll its obvious your man hating skills are something to bedesired..all your attitude contributes to more people asking for money on freeway exits. Take a pill for the obvious ________ envy you have.

Answer 6

Jane je suis désolée, mais si tu parles en anglais je ne peux pas te répondre je ne parle pas anglais. bisous.

Answer 7

you did alright the first couple of times, but now it is time to cut him off, you are not his back up plan, its time he become responsible for managing his own financial affairs without your help

Answer 8

tell him that you dont want to keep on giving him money, That you are not a bank machine, also that you have responsibilities too.

I'm sure he'll understand

Answer 9

He's a big boy, he should take care of himself and stop mooching off of you! Shame on him. Cut him off! Good luck, you can do it!