My husband and I have been married for 5 years, in the beginning we had a great sex life, then our two boys came along and now we only have sex if I beg. And in truth, no, I have not gained weight or let myself go, I still attract men at work and when I go out. There was an incident when we seperated and during that seperation he quickly was in bed with another woman despite us not having sex, he always used the excuse he was tired or work stress etc. Now he has a new guy friend that he is very secretive about, they exchange texts (nothing sexual but kinda feminine) like putting smiley faces on the end of a sentence, or or just texting to say hi. I have heard this guy is having similar marriage problems. I've met him and he seems to avoid me. My husband is "homophobic", says it's a sickness, but yet he had a friend in his bachelor days that was very david bowie like, (had a girlfriend but had gay sex just for kicks), they spent a LOT Of time together. Am I right to worry.
2007-08-28 14:34:01 · 22 answers · asked by Apple 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
thankyou all for the helpful answers, i just wanna say that i have spoken to him about this, many times. he gets very defensive almost violent if i mention the gay thing. he tells me i'm paranoid and i need to grow up. when he talks to his friend on the phone he is very basic, i know that they talk more when i am not around. i;m am very unsatisfied, i thought it was the woman not wanting sex in the marriage, not the other way around!
2007-08-28 14:56:52 · update #1
Even if he's not gay, he's probably cheating. After all he had no problem sleeping with another woman when you were separated. You could hire a private investigator to follow him and find out for sure. If he *is* messing around you'll have evidence for divorce court and you'll get a better settlement if he's being unfaithful.
2007-08-28 14:44:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you were seperated and he was sleeping with women instead of men then he definately isn't gay. Straight men can have very strong bonds without being Gay. Liking David Bowie has nothing to to with being Gay. I'm Gay and don't even like David Bowie, except for the Movie he made with the Puppets, the Labrynth or something. Maybe you should spice up your sex life and take a 2nd honeymoon together. Good luck. p.s. stop reading his emails.
2007-08-28 14:44:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Harsh as this may sound, perhaps the problem really isn't whether he is gay or not, but a relationship issue in your marriage. This other man he's communicating with could just be someone that he just has something in common with...an unsettled marriage. The only way to really figure this out is to talk with him. Find out what is at the center of the relationship issue(s). That was my first step in a similar situation.
Hope this helps just a tad... Best wishes :-)
2007-08-28 14:51:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
You may have something to worry about but it is not whether your husband could possibly be gay. But your dissatisfaction with your sex life. This can cause serious rifts in relationships and be very hard to mend, if at all. You need to talk to him about that first. Deal with your relationship. It may be the reason that you are having these other doubts.
2007-08-28 14:40:49 · answer #4 · answered by realangst 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
ask if there is something he wants to tell you.tell him you need some answers.it may be health related many men suffer with e.d. but are ashamed to admit it.go with him to a doctor and make sure there are no underlying issues first.if he is gay you are better off without him and that's a fact no one should be lied to or used like that.if it were me i might have to kill him cause he knows the strong feelings i have about liars and homosexuals trying to force their own needs above others and using people without regard to what the lies will do to them.not to mention the sexually transmitted diseases such as HIV or AIDS!!!!even if he is not gay spending time with others instead of you is not helping your marriage,he needs to make you and the children his top priority and win back your trust.good luck.
2007-08-28 14:52:09 · answer #5 · answered by dixie58 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I you think somthing is wrong with your husband just ask him like 5ive times and look him in the eye and say are you gay are you cheating on me and if you still don't believe him just let it go and get a divorce.
2007-08-28 14:49:03 · answer #6 · answered by dee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like he is on the down low, i would confront him again and see what he says. You have to think about yourself in this situation and do what is right for you! Good luck!
2007-09-01 01:25:55 · answer #7 · answered by ziggy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably is. Remember men know what men want. But it is your marriage and you have to save it or let it go. If I was in your place I would let him go.
2007-08-28 15:44:26 · answer #8 · answered by evanesheaven1985 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why you have to beg...please...let him go...and you start a new life...enoy your self your friend and get a partner us many you want...dont push him to like you..if he is o not...is not the problem...the problem is that you have to start thinking about you....enjouy your sexual life...in or out of that married situation
2007-08-28 16:30:17 · answer #9 · answered by Gaby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may just be gay.. It's not good to jump to conclusions but i suggest going with your gut instinct.
2007-08-28 14:41:53 · answer #10 · answered by Nae 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋