How would you describe men who refuse to pay child support?

Question

My son's father has to be practically strong-armed by the Attorney General's office into paying his child support. They have threatened to revoke his driver's license, have put a lien on his home and have frozen a bank account of his to retrieve the monies owed to me. He owns his own business and is successful. He lives in a $200K home and has two practically new vehicles. His lifestyle is beyond your imagination. I have never withheld my son from him and have followed the custody order to a tee. He says "It's just a guideline we can follow if we want to."

What would you say to him about his refusal to pay child support and/or what do you think of this major lack of responsibilty? At one point he owed almost $10K!

Answer 1

Wow...it sucks to be in a situation like this, but you can't feel sorry for someone who refuses to help financially support a child he helped conceive. He can't have his cake and eat it too. I was the same way about 1yr ago, my girls dad didn't pay child support nor did he pick them up the way he should have and was out buying boats, cars and going on vacations while I'm the one who was providing total income for my girls. It was hard but I had to step up to the plate and play the game. I felt scared to say something to him or to take him back to court, but I did and now he pays faithfully without hesitation. I grew a backbone and now he is also paying back child-support as well. He tried to stop paying or a month and I took back to court and never had problems. What you need to do is talk to him about how you feel if you and he have that relationship, if not girl get with it and document everything that happens with you guys. Find out as much as you can, where he lives where works and what type of jobs, cars anything and everything you can show the judge and he'll have to pay....a judge will not show sympathy for a father like that.

Answer 2

only 10k? I met a guy the other day, this is what he told me. He owed 50K in back child support and he worked 2 jobs for 10 years and got it caught up.
Regardless, I've worked with guys that quit their jobs when they got there checks because of the amount money taken out for child support. When you have 5 kids you have to pay for it adds up.
I think there should be intervention into the women's lives that want to have kids with guys that already have a few kids they don't pay child support for. But, everybody has the right to ruin their own life and their childs so really, there isnt' much you can say about them!
I think they are people with very serious problems including lack of respect for themselves or their children.

Answer 3

two words:selfish and irresponsible.I have two children with my ex and he owes me $7,000.It sucks cuz my kids need a lot of things right now and i'm struggling to meet their needs without his financial help.I cover the health and dental and i am buying everything!! He is ordered to pay support through the Dept of revenue.I have only received $577.00 since Jan 07.Sick huh? He makes all kinds of excuses of why he isn't working,then when he does work he can't keep a job.Good role model for his children huh?He has visitation-every other weekend and every wednesday and like you I've never kept him from seeing his kids.A lawyer for the Dept of revenue is representing me without any charge in an upcoming court case.The Dor has already suspended his driver's license.If I was you I wouldn't tell him anything,just go to the court house,file some paperwork(or get a lawyer to do all this for you-you may be able to have a lawyer from the DOR represent you without any cost,like I have).Let the system do the work for you.He will pay for this!Men/women that don't pay child support face jail terms if they don't step up to the plate,after all it's the children that suffer the most.

Answer 4

I would tell him " Pay your child support and stop being a dead beat dad, I don't care how much money you make, you're still a dead beat dad." If he enjoys spending time with your son then say "well, if it's just a guideline then I guess you don't have to see your son either."

That just makes me so mad. My dad didn't pay his child support either. As a matter of fact he is still paying it and I'm almost 25 and my littlest sister is almost 21.

My Mom just told him "well, you can pay it now or when the kids are all gone and grown and don't need it anymore, and I will just take a much needed vacation with my Husband"

you could try this one. It didn't work on my Dad but I don't know maybe it will work on your son's father.

I'm sorry that you and your child have to deal with that.
Take care.

by the way I agree with Kenzie.

Answer 5

Any parent who doesn't pay his or her child support is a lowlife. But the courts are clearly biased against men getting primary custody of a kid. I had a friend whos wife abandon him and her kids to go have a fling with some druggie. When she decided to come back 6 months later the courts gave her primary custody! HTF is that right? After 3 more years of her continually screwing up he finally was awarded custody. The whole time he was paying her child support and she was using it for drugs.

I know someone who works in he county DA office who told me that in the rare circumstances were women are ordered to pay child support they are much less likely to be in compliance with the law, so this deadbeat dad stereotype only exists because men are ordered to pay child support much more often than women are.

How about we have some fair laws were men have an equal right to primary custody than women do? Is that asking to much?

Answer 6

A $200K home and 2 vehicles isn't a lot these days. Apparently his lifestyle is quite within the grasp of my imagination. It also paints a vivid picture of your situation.

I do not agree with the current system in this country. Depending on your individual history with this man, he may have just cause to question where his money is going. We don't know. I don't paint groups of people with wide brush strokes. We're only getting one side of the story here.

Answer 7

I have head it be said that a man who does not pay child support can lose his parental rights. I found this out from a lawyer several years back when I had some family law issues that needed to be addressed. This is to say that consulting a lawyer might be in order to find out some info. Some things could change that would keep him out of your life forever. Keep in mind thought that you child's welfare is important as well because he might not want to lose his dad. This man is definately a deadbeat loser who lets money rule everything in his life and appearantly cares nothing for his son's welfare. What a sorry excuse for a so called man.

Answer 8

What i would say to him cannot be posted here. He's a looser, a sperm donor, not fit to be called a Dad and a poor excuse of a man. You can vent by adding his name to ripoffreport.com, dead beat dads.com and put all of his business in the streets for all the world to see. Make him famous, post his picture and information and don't say a word! What he means is, there would be no skin off his hide if he did not see his own child. Make sure a paternity test is done so that he can't get out of paying his share of responsibility. Tell him: See you in court Mr Big Stuff

Answer 9

As a father paying child support, I am absolutely disgusted by this. I have paid every penny of support I agreed to since before there was ever a support order in place.

I am also someone who grew up without ever knowing my father and my father was a "dead beat dad". In fact, I received more from him after he died (in the form of social security death benefits) than I ever did when he was alive.

It's one thing when a support order leaves a father in a position where he can choose to pay his child support or choose to pay rent and buy food - I have known people in this position. But it's quite another when a father refuses to pay when he clearly has the means to do so.

Answer 10

when they can afford it they usually don't pay anything... but when they are too poor it is really difficult, and some women don't consider that the father their self never got any support from their father, and the single mother never got any from her father either. so that is why they are poor their selves and some women have hooked them into father hood,by lying that someone stole their pills or they lost them.So the guy has an even harder time trying to get a future going because they won't let them drive to get around and they take all their minimum wage away from them not allowing them to afford car or house.And some of those women have way more money in their families than the poor guy ,but won't help him to become a more productive father.