am I wrong? my childs father claims he wants to see his daughter but everytime he comes to my house ........?

Question

he acts a fool. even once I had to call the police on him. he thinks he can tell me anything and i don't appreciate him disrespecting me in front of our daughter. I am not trying to keep her away from him but I think I at least deserve some respect. She shouldn't have to see him curse at me and call me names. I did nothing to deserve such treatment. when he disrespects me it makes me very unhappy and I don't want my child to sense that her mom is unhappy. I have filled child support on him and haven't heard back from them yet. Maybe the courts will decide something..but until then, I don't know what to do. Since he disrespects me, i feel like I have did enough and he doesn't appreciate what I have done for our child as a single parent. He does not acknowledge that and constantly has something negative to say to me. he just gets on my nerves...plz help! Also, he smokes weed and its disgusting when he wants to hold her smelling like weed and being high!!!!! I'm disgusted!

well like I said, I filled out the application for child support but I haven't recieved anything back yet. I sent the application where you have to send his photo with it.

Answer 1

First off, you are under no obligation to let him in your house.

Second, if his drug use is documented you need to present that when you go for your visitation hearing and ask for supervised visitation. You do not supervise. The court will appoint that person. You drive the child to and from. That's all.

Third, child support is retroactive to the day you filed, so hang on, it will come, if he is working. If not, then it has already begun to accrue.

I think if I was you I'd tell him to file for his visitation and that until that time he is not to come to your home anymore.

Answer 2

Well theres your problem solver right there he is a pot head so disrespect comes naturally to him , remind me again why your allowing your daughter near him without the visit's being supervised by a court appointed safety officer?

Put her 1st and get the visit's supervised my brother is a user and a dealer and I can not count the amount of time's I have received a phone call from my 13 year old niece since she was 7 to come get her and let her wait here for her mum because her dad has abused her over nothing , like 1 time they'd just moved house and hadnt unpacked (they'd been there 8 months) and my niece couldnt find clean underwear so he pushed her into a wall told her to grow up and just do what his speed using girlfriend does and wear none.

Your daughter doesnt need him and you dont need to feel guilty about keeping her away from him, Or would you prefer she see that it's totally normal to use weed?.Be the parent and get him gone.

Answer 3

Speaking as the former child of two divorced parents, having both parents in your child's life isn't always best. If he's out of hand and setting a bad example for your daughter, to the point where the police have been called, then it's probably better that you keep him away. Being raised by one parent alone is far better than being raised by 2 parents, where one's verbally abusive and out of control. If she grows up seeing her father treat her mother in such a way, chances are she's going to end up with a guy who treats her just as bad, if not worse than your child's father is doing to you right now. Do you have any other men in your life that can serve as a male figure for her? Do you have a father or brother?

Answer 4

There is so many things that I see wrong with your situation. First of all let me tell you some facts about my sister who has a baby daddy similar to yours. He only uses the kids to come around and argue and curse at her, he has taught the kids to disrespect her. She has had physical altercations with her son, who uses the most filthy language I have ever heard. You need to go back down to child support and ask to speak to a child support officer. Tell them your situation, if you are persistent enough they will take some action. Don't feel bad because you might have to keep her away from him. The school that my niece and nephew go to advised my sister to keep the kids away from their dad, he was that bad of an influence.

Answer 5

Child support....let the courts set up visitation, when she is old enough she can call him and you do not have to be involved.....she does not need to see a man disrespecting you, what kind of man will she end up with...we are not perfect but try to give her a good example.

Answer 6

keeping your child safe is also important i would not allow him around my child under the influence to start with,and secondly a child does not need to be around any type of abuse verbal, physical,or mental these things affect your child more than you know and may realize.i'd be going to court to make him have supervised visits through the courts

Answer 7

Get an attorney. I don't think you should expose your child to this jerk. If you can't afford one, call legal aid. They should be able to advise.
Kids do need their fathers but I'm having a hard time seeing what this man contributes to being a good example.

Answer 8

Why is he coming to your house to visit the child? You need to get a custody/visitation order with arrangements for him to have visitation at his mothers house, a friends house or his own. Visitation with the child doesn't mean you have to see or put up with him.

Answer 9

you can arrange with the courts to have "Supervised Visitation"... that is where he can visit with his daughter but is under the supervision of a court appointed officer, usually a cop. if he misbehaves during one of those meetings he will be denied the right to visit in the future

Answer 10

i wouldn't let him see her at all. if he's like this in front of you, imagine how he'll act if you aren't around to defend yourself. maybe, in order to allow visitation, you could meet on neutral territory like a restaurant or a crowded park.