What does it mean when your husband stares at other women?

Question

Should I be worried about this? He says it's just a bad habit.. I get nervous everytime he describes other women as sexy because it's like I have to compare myself with them. What's your experience?

Answer 1

Men look - we are visual creatures. Don't try and stop it. It would be like trying to stop women from gossiping with their friends and shoe shopping - its just a force of nature.

Is he checking the other women out - yes - probably. Does he think about what they'd look like naked? - Yes - probably.

Do you need to worry about this? NO. Its a throwback to cavman days, animanl instinct. I wish I could tell you that MOST men are more evolved than that, but the truth is we are not.

With that said - he should at least take your feelings into consideration in the matter. If you re offended, he should not do it with you around. Unless he is agreeable to letting you gouge out his eyes - you can't control what he does when he's not around you.

As long as he's with you, comes home to you, is faithful to you - then its really not worth making a big deal out of it, is it?

Answer 2

Staring at other women isn't always a bad thing. It's what he does or says after that can be bad. I've been married for 23 years and I still "look" My wife knows that I enjoy looking, but drooling or doing the whip the head around trick is a no-no.

She'll even point out gals that I might have missed.

The comparing isn't good, he should not be telling you that they are sexy. You should be the only one he describes that way

Answer 3

He's being honest with you, it's a bad habit. He's looking, he's a man, etc. He has eyes, and he's going to look. Look does not mean touch, got it?

However, this means what is good for the goose is good for the gander.

One particularly roaming eyes guy got his fill seeing me smile appreciatively at a few cute guys before he got defensive and ask what was my problem? You see, men have really sensitive egos and I was feeling that I'm alive, I'm a woman, by gum, I'm gonna look and appreciate what I'm seeing!

He learned his lesson. But it took a few times for him to get the idea and make it stick. He was a little too obvious in his lasciviousness and I felt disrespected. A quick look is one thing, a lingering leer, or openmouthed drool while craning the neck practically doing a 360 turn is quite another.

Men, boys if you are going to do it, don't be so damned obvious. Women are much more discreet, learn from them, sheesh. Because women and girls look, yes they do, but they are much classier about it and more discreet. Learn and get a clue.

Answer 4

Well men are naturally going to look even though they should refrain from checking out women. There's a sense of maturity when a man can keep their eyes only one their wife. My step-dad never looks at other women and almost turns his head when a commercial comes on of Victoria's Secret. lol. And I don't think he ought to be telling you how sexy another woman is b/c it feels as though he's comparing you to her and you as his wife should not feel as though you should be anything but yourself (the way he married you). You just need to talk to him about it. Maybe he doesn't realize he's doing it and that it's hurting your feeling and bothering you. Just sit him down and ask him how he'd feel if you were doing those things and see how he reacts. Communication is a big issue in this situation. Good Luck. Hope everything works out!

Answer 5

It means he is lusting after them...I do believe one thing he says, that it's a 'bad habit'...that is true and it's not entirely all his fault...When you look at our culture, everywhere you turn, whether it's on the TV or in the store, they use 'sex' to sell you everything, for a man it's difficult since we are by nature stimulated by sight. And that is percisely why they make commercials with half-naked women in them. I can tell you an excellent book to get for him, it's called "Every Man's Battle", you can pick it up on Alibris.com for a few bucks. There is also a companion book for women dealing with how to cope with him. I had a problem too but for me I was totally unaware that I had a problem...My wife would get upset for me for looking at a woman and I had absolutely no idea I was, it was such an engrained habit that I didn't even realize I was doing it. I asked her to let me know when I did it...She would at the very moment she saw me and I still had no idea...I wasn't looking out of lust, I wasn't even aware I was doing it at all.

This book I bought for myself and boy was it an eye opener for me in that battle, it made me aware of what was happening and gave me a lot of ways to combat it. The author(s) are quite frank and open in their battles and I can tell you that the title fits, "Every Man's Battle"...Buy it, give it to him and ask him to read it...as a matter of fact insist upon it and personally make sure that he does...You read it too, I promise it will make a difference...

What I don't understand is why he tells you that those women are sexy...all that does is hurt you...I think he also has some growing up to do in that area, perhaps he's just young and not fully mature. But if you love him as much as it sounds like you do, then do both of you a favor and get this book, it will make a big difference in your relationship...Take this from someone who's been there.... -- Good Luck!

Answer 6

Naw! Don't be worried about looking, just if it turns to touching than worry. Hon, he's a man, and men like to look. It's not that they don't love us, but they have a thing for looking. Just give him a taste of his own medicine. Take someone who you think is quite good looking and say how hot that person is. Maybe he'll get the message that it's not right to be like that around you. I'd rather him look while I'm there, than if I'm not. That's normal for men and women to look. Just make sure you live by the code, look, but don't touch.

Answer 7

All husbands and boyfriends stare at other women, it is the nature of the beast. However, I would make sure that I stared at other men in return, of if you do not want to do that just tell the jerk to knock it off with describing other women to you, you are not interested. Be proud of yourself, he is trying to run you down. It is almost a form of abuse and can only get worse.

Answer 8

All men have to think about other women, that's just how they are but he shouldn't let you know that!! He should make you feel like you are the prettiest girl in the world!! You shouldn't have to compare yourself to women he thinks are sexy. That lowers people's self esteem and is unhealthy in a relationship.

Express your concerns with him and tell him it makes you uncomfortable and self conscious. And that you would feel better if he stopped looking about other women and talking about their sexiness.

Be strong woman!! You deserve the best!

Answer 9

I just tell mine, It's OK to look, just don't touch. Because there are some great ones out there. Some or a lot better than me, but guess who has him in my bed and his ring on my finger. Sounds like you need a little bit of self confidence. Just remember you are probably one of those women that someone else's guy is looking at. So there is always a two way street.

Answer 10

No, it is nothing and you have nothing to worry about. You only compare yourself to them because of your own self-esteem issues, not because he looks at other women. Here is a tip for all ladies who think their man doesn't look.....HE DOES!!! Some of us just find ways to do it without you knowing it. The only thing is if he is putting you down comparing you to other women then there is a problem, but just because he looks doesn't mean he is a cheater, will cheat or has cheated. It just means that he is a warm blooded male homo-sapien. That is all.