Ok so i get married in 3 weeks, i'm so nervous, happy & excited all rolled into one! except... i'm 26 and iv'e never had sex. He has though (my hubby to be) is that stupid? He knows i havn't done it before because iv'e always wanted to keep it till i get married. Weve bin together for 8 years.
Im actually quite scared! does it hurt?! do i sound geekish?
2007-08-28 11:54:49 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Women's Health
Don't be scared! It's something very special and emotional, and will probably make your relationship stronger. It might hurt a tiny bit, but not enough to make you want to stop. He loves you and should be plenty gentle and make your first time worth the wait. Congratulations to both of you!
2007-08-28 12:00:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 1⤋
awww no you don't sound 'geekish'!!
I think it's a lovely thing that you've waited til you get married, it makes it more special.
I think I'd also be worried if my hubby to be had sex before (but there is no hubby to be :( lol). You could try talking to him about it beforehand.
Try not to be nervous, otherwise you may not enjoy it as much. Yes it does hurt a little, and there may be a little blood (from breaking the hymen) but if he goes slowly and lets you adjust to his size, it will be pleasurable soon after. Remember the ky jelly.
To make you more comfortable, you may wish to have the lights off the first time, a lot of foreplay will help, make sure he goes at the speed you're comfortable with (by being on top, you can control that more) and closing your eyes amplifies the senses, making it a lot more pleasurable.
Hope this helped and hope it goes well.
2007-08-28 12:07:55 · answer #2 · answered by knoclars_oll 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It's natural to be scared, the first time can be painful but there's nothing to be scared of. The key is slow and steady. Make love not have sex. 90% of women do not enjoy the first sexual encounter. Hopefully you will be the other 10% who enjoys it. Either way try to relax and enjoy the love you both have for each other. You must really love and respect each other so much. Your love making will reflect this. Above all, communication is the key - don't be put off by other peoples stories, discuss your feelings with your fiance, be honest and open. Wishing you both happiness, All the best x
2007-08-28 12:06:41 · answer #3 · answered by Little Louise 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Kudos to you for saving yourself!
It is natural for you to have anxiety about having sex for the first time.
It probably will be uncomfortable the first time. The hymen is broken and torn away from the vaginal wall, this creates the discomfort, it may feel like a burning pain. (there may also be a bit of blood). Have your new husband take it slow with his rhythm and he can even apply some lubricant as he goes along (K-Y Jelly is great!). As time goes on, the discomfort will lessen and you will begin to experience something akin to pleasure...it is just reaching that peak, so if you focus on reaching that peak, you will get there.
Rest a while before you try again, but make sure to use the lubrication until the foreplay causes you to "tingle" more, this means you are creating a good amount of natural lubrication.
It will get to the point you will look forward to sex....because of the pleasure it can bring.
Good luck!
2007-08-28 12:16:19 · answer #4 · answered by ripsgracie 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
No you don't sound geekish. You sound normal. I bet your future husband is glad that he's going to be your first. Remind him to be gentle with you! Have fun , and laugh about it! If you're lucky, you'll have broken your hymen as a kid. I did. So did my mother. (I don't remember how, but my first time was wonderful. My mom broke hers riding a horse.) So have some KY Jelly on hand in case you're nervous and not lubricated enough. Hopefully, you'll be drunk and horny as hell!! He must really love you a lot, to have waited all these years for you. You're a lucky girl. I hope you're crazy about him too. There should be NO DOUBTS. I can tell you that from experience. You must be passionately in love with him, and visa versa. Don't be worried about the sex. It'll be wonderful. Best wishes to you both!! :)
2007-08-28 14:11:58 · answer #5 · answered by LadyLynn 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, you don't sound geekish. If you love each other you'll eventually discover what works for you both.
It can hurt somewhat at first, and unfortunately nervousness can make it hurt a little more because we're tense. But for me, it NEVER hurt me to the point where I would consider not doing it anymore :) Once I learned to relax, it was actually a great way to spend time.
I wish you a long and happy marriage.
2007-08-28 12:02:35 · answer #6 · answered by pufferoo 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
This is probably a concern of most virgins. Pain is an individual thing. What one may call pain another calls just uncomfortable. IF your ready at the time, meaning wet, relaxed, and feeling ready, it should be no problem. Use a jel if needed. [like ky] TRY TO BE RELAXED AND NOT TENSE. Ask him to wait until you are actually ready. It will be more enjoyable to you and likely him. Just relax, THAT IS THE MAIN THING AND USE KY. You'll be fine[meaning relax during penetration]
2007-08-28 12:15:52 · answer #7 · answered by Marcie H 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well done for waiting, your hubby is a lucky guy to have someone with so much self respect and high morals. Don't be nervous, If you take it slow it shouldn't be too painful (don't forget a baby can get out of there), and I'm sure you will be having plenty of fun by the end of your honeymoon.
2007-08-28 12:04:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You should be proud of yourself for waiting until your wedding night. There are very few virgins on their wedding day. He knows you are a virgin, he should be as gentle as possible, and go at a pace you are comfortable with. Congrats on getting married!
2007-08-28 12:00:46 · answer #9 · answered by auntie_dodo 2 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Bledd your heart God will reward you for waiting for your husband. You will do fine. It will hurt the first few times but nothing that you will want o stop in the process of. You are truly a blessing to the women who have questions like this you should really think about mentoring women no teens to wait for sex. Make sure you have librications with you. Thay new K-Y sensastions is real nice.
2007-08-28 12:03:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋