my husband tells me he loves me and doesnt want a divorce. but he cheated on me twice. now he and i have decided to take a break. and i think once he realizes he does need me it will end. but i have decided to date. do you think even though he has done it to me, that he will care if i date other people? i dont want to ruin my marriage but i cant sit around forever.
2007-08-28 10:21:24 · 26 answers · asked by funnygalsc 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ok i havnt dated yet, but i have been asked out a few times. i am the type of person who believes marriage is sacred and that you should stick with it through better or worse, my marriage means everything to me. but i wonder if he needs a taste of his own medicine, but i dont think i could take it to a sexual level with anyone.
2007-08-28 11:06:38 · update #1
Honey he has showed you the future. He will continue to do this. You dating will piss him off but, you deserve to have fun too...
2007-08-28 10:27:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's entirely up the couple and their friends. Everyone has different boundaries. Some have strict no-friends-of-the-opposite-sex rules - they say it's a respect thing. Not even the appearance of impropriety. Other people swing and yet more have polyamorous relationship - a spouse /and/ a boyfriend/girlfriend (not cheating, no one is lying or concealing the truth.) A one-on-one meeting is a date. So if that's on the table and is OK, then you really need to be OK with what happens between two people when they date... kisses come next and then more if you keep at it. A spouse should *always* feel welcome to accompany their spouse. If their spouse can't attend, then the other spouse shouldn't go. A great error of judgment in companies today are these "employee retreats" where just the employees go but not their spouses. That is *begging* for work-affairs to happen. Stupid to the point of negligence. If you plan such a retreat, spouses are invited or you're an asshole.
2016-05-20 03:04:01 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By your thinking, you may as well just end it now. You aren't really that committed to him if you have to start dating already, and he obviously isn't that committed to you if he has already cheated.
edited:
He may care, or he may not, but if your main goal is to salvage your marriage, I don't see how dating other people will accomplish this goal. You want revenge, and that isn't a good start to solving the problem. It only compounds it. He may see this as you really aren't committed to him and say forget the whole thing, or it may downplay his infidelity, since you are doing it too (I know you say it wouldn't lead to sex, but he may think it did). The best way to play this is on the straight and narrow. You don't need to add any more fuel to this fire. If your belief is that marriage is sacred, then that's how you should be. Trying to give him a taste of his own medicine may very well back fire on you.
2007-08-28 10:41:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he cheated on you twice is because he thinks he can get away with it.Apparently you have allowed him to, by still staying with him. You should either leave him, or stay with him. However, doing the same back to him will only hurt your marriage more. It doesn't seem like he has respect for you or commitment. You should leave him and find a real man who will only have eyes for you.
2007-08-28 10:35:42 · answer #4 · answered by Yulia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Desi. Men have the ability to separate LOVE from SEX. To the majority of men, having sex with someone other than your own wife is like a really good masturbation session. When we make LOVE with our wives, feelings are involved, and yes, we still do "LOVE" our wives. It seems only a few women are able to separate the love and sex, otherwise there would be chaos with everybody jumping into each others bedrooms.
2007-08-28 10:31:43 · answer #5 · answered by K M 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your hubby has already successfully ruined your marriage for you. If a person cheats on you once, they will do it over and over again.
Personally, I find nothing wrong with you dating other men once you have divorced your hubby. If you don't want to divorce him, then you should come to terms with the fact that he has not/will not be faithful to you and your vows to one another.
You deserve to be with a man that wants to only be with you! Obviously, your hubby can not make that kind of committment. Leave him and move on.
2007-08-28 10:31:31 · answer #6 · answered by endo_chic 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He;s cheated on you TWICE!!!!! What makes you think he won't do it again, and what makes that ok??? Your marriage isn't looking like it's going to go too far. And you are worried about dating?
When you and he took your WEDDING VOWS you promised to love honor and obey each other FORSAKING ALL OTHERS. That means - you DON"T HAVE SEX WITH ANYONE ELSE ANYMORE! What part of that did he miss?
Are you really willing to continue to be treated like that and taken for granted? It's time for you to move on and find a guy that loves and respects you and wants to spend the reast of his life with you and ONLY you!
Good luck
2007-08-28 10:27:16 · answer #7 · answered by Lindsay G 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are a pushover…he cheated on you twice that you know of. Don't kid yourself. I have been married for 10 years, and I have never once cheated on my wife, and I have had opportunities to do so. Why do women put up with this stuff, it freakin baffles me. He clearly does not respect you, and you don't trust him. Trust and respect are the foundations of love, if you don't have those then when in the he77 are you married?? This question is making me lose my mind, am I alone on this???
2007-08-28 10:30:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
because we are wired that way. men may or may not understand this, but either way a men committing themselves to someone means just that, with the knowledge that they are wired that way.
as a man i can honestly tell you that it is almost impossible to be 100% true to your partner. what i mean by that is even if a man looks at a woman with no intention whatsoever of having sex with her, but has a fantasy of what a sexual encounter might be like...then he is no longer 100% and never will be again. no man is 100%.
I say this sincerely....i wish you could be a man for a day...you would be utterly amazed at what we have to go thru to keep our "true" percentage as close to 100% as possible.
2007-08-28 10:35:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am gonna answer this question to the best of my knowledge
sometimes they cheat just because they are men with no consequence at all. or either because they wife doesn't please them the way they want to be pleased. Because when you sneek around it can be exciting also who knows. Even if it is wrong. Now you have decided to take a break and date other people do you think he will mind of cause he will mine because he wants you and have his cake to. best of luck
2007-08-28 10:31:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The answer is that it is not ok to cheat. Why, after all this time are you not being more proactive? He has cheated on you twice! How many times are you gonna accept what he did? Up to you though.
2007-08-28 10:31:57 · answer #11 · answered by Qyllix 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋