Biologically, the best age to have kids is 19?

Question

Actually, that's not a question. That's the truth. I see lots of women on here saying things like, "I'm 35 and having trouble getting pregnant." It pains me to read because I want to answer, "You should have started 15 years ago!"

Of course, I would never say that; I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad. I feel bad for these poor women, because I know it's not their fault. Our society went from one where kids got married right of high school, and started having kids, to one in which we wait until 30 to get married and 40 to try to have kids.

It boggles my mind. As an intelligent woman I know women want to go to college, have careers, meet a nice man, get married, spend some time together, then have kids. But, as a Biologist, I know us girls are supposed to be having babies in our late teens/ early 20's. Truly, there wouldn't be this many women with fertility problems if they started trying to have kids earlier.

::sigh:: I have no solution. Anyone else?

Dalice... how is my post ignorant?

Jill, I have no solution for the young and infertile. I'm not a doctor, I'm more a zoologist.

Answer 1

So, what exactly boggles your mind? Women put off having kids to finish school, establish a career and a stable homelife. You said so yourself. I'm not sure I understand why you're confused here.

Also, my doctor told me that mid twenties is the perfect age biologically for a woman to have kids. There is a big difference between 19 and 25.

So, who do you expect these 35 year old women to have children with?? My sister met her husband at 30 and is having her first at 35. Should she have had sex with some random guy at 19 so she could have a child at the right biological age??

I really don't even know why you would post this.......its about quality of life. Being with the love of your life in a stable home with job(s) that can provide for your family. I know there was no way I could have supported a child at 19 without help from family and/or social services. Some can and do.......but many can not.

Answer 2

It is true that at early 20s your most fertile. But soooo glad girls aren't having babies that young. Your still perfectly fertile in your mid to late 20's. When I was 20, I was not stable enough to have a child and I am so relieved that I didn't. At age 26, I'm ready and trying. At 26, woman are still very fertile and more ready to take on the responsibility. In my opinion, woman in their 20's even early 30's can still have babies. Some without any troubles, some with. Whatever is meant to happen...will happen.

Answer 3

I am 19 and pregnant. I do agree with you but saying that I did not plan on getting pregnant at all. I have a stable job and a roof over my head. The thing that has gotten to me the most is so many people look down on you becasue your pregnant young. I am enjoying every step of the way. My docotr told me that although i am young my body will be able to heal and handle this pregnancy better than what it would in even 5 years time.

I am really over people judging me becasue i am going to be a young mum. I have been out of school for 2 years now and i have a stable job i rent my own house. So emotionally it is hard to be pregnant at this age because of society pointing fingers at young parents.

But saying this i have no problems with mums that are older. They have their reasons for not having children earlier. the only thing i don't agree with is a friend of mine who is 19 has parents that are 65 she doesn't feel comfortable speaking to them about things going on in todays society nor does she feel right inviting them out to dinner with other peoples parents as they are all so much younger than her parents and they aren't always on the same wave link.

I think it is your choice about when you have children as you personally know when you are ready and when your not. When you and your partner are ready to settle down and take that step then congrats but do keep in mind what the child is going to miss out on and that is wether you are yound or old

Answer 4

It's true that it is easier and maybe even healthier to have kids younger (early 20's). However, every woman and circumstance is different. What does it matter to you that women want a career first and then a family? Women are not stupid, I'm sure most know that it is harder to get pregnant when they are older, but it is their choice to wait. So why do you feel sorry for them?

It may be the right time physically at 19 years old to get pregnant, but is it the right time emotionally/financially/etc? For most young women, 19 is NOT the right time to get pregnant. It is ok that some women get pregnant young, and some wait until they are older, every one is different and everyone's situation is different.

Answer 5

well, since a woman's world doesn't have to revolve around being "barefoot and pregnant" at an early age anymore, i don't see any reason to feel sorry for anyone. we all grow and build families at our own pace and some never choose to have kids. this is all based on who we are and what we want to accomplish. i have to say, i have a 5 month old and am only 23. he was a suprise and as much as i love him, i wish i could've been a little older when he came along. i'm still in college and he and his dad struggle to make ends meet. i think that it's smarter to wait till you're prepared for a baby, no matter the age. 19 is not old enough to become a mommy; you would miss so much.

i understand what you're saying, but biologically acceptable and socially acceptable don't always go hand in hand.

Answer 6

There is no answer. I think it's better to risk a little declining fertility to get educated, establish a career, buy a home, get into a stable relationship rather than jumping into parenthood in the teens and early 20s when one is not financially or emotionally ready to be a parent.

I just became a mother for the first time at age 39, and I can give my daughter so much more now than I could have at 19, when I was in college and didn't have two dimes to rub together.

Answer 7

I understand where you're coming from all the way, and I'm planning to have my kids around 23. But by then, my life will be stable. Its a personal choice though, and I dunno, I think there's a correlation somewhat of these children who are given all these drugs for ADHD because the mothers can't really keep up with their 5 year old kids as much at 40 as they could if they were 25...but to each their own I suppose. And your 20s are meant to be your "party time" now-a-days...it seems to me that women more and more are less mature at the age of 25 than they used to be back in the day. Not to make generalizations, of course. But no one really needs to go out on fridays and get pissed drunk with the girls...at that point in my life I'd rather be taking care of my family.

The rest of you angry ladies, if you really read what she's saying, from a biological standpoint it makes perfect sense. I personally don't want to wait because A) I don't want to mess around with my body using fertility drugs, and B) I just really want kids, and I don't want to waste my time with that whole 20 something party it up mentality, thats not healthy either. If you want to wait until you're 30 something, thats your own choice, but thats just not for me. I'm too young to tell mothers what to do, and as long as the child is in a good home, then its perfectly alright with me.

Answer 8

I know when I was pregnant with my first child. I was 19. My doctor told me, "This is the best time to have a baby." I am backing you up on this. Yeah it sucks, for the women out there trying to Conceive. I hope the best for all of them. TTC #2 for 4 months

Answer 9

I didnt want to be a teenage unmarried mum that wasnt the path I wanted for me. I wanted to be married and have a stable home which you dont normally have at 19 before I started to have children. My opinion is that 19 is far too young to have children but hey thats my opinion. I dont think women should have children at 19 just in case later in life they may have some problems.

Your post doesnt really help anyone...........

Answer 10

"From a strictly biological perspective, the 20s is the best decade for conceiving and carrying a baby: Experts say the average woman's fertility peaks when she's 24."--http://www.babycenter.com/0_age-and-fertility-getting-pregnant-in-your-20s_1494692.bc

"Most experts agree that the best time - biologically speaking - for a woman to get pregnant is when she's in her mid-20's"--http://www.cnn.com/HEALTH/blogs/paging.dr.gupta/2007/07/should-older-pregnant-moms-get-genes.html

"fertility peaks during the mid 20s "--http://www.ngrguardiannews.com/science/article02


I started trying to get pregnant at the age of 22. Now, I am 25, still not pregnant, so what exactly do you suggest for those of us who have started early and still can't get pregnant?