Do guys have to do dishes? AM I RIGHT OR IS HE WRONG?

Question

My mother constantly complains about how none of us do the dishes. and she says she's tired of doing everything and I understand her.. but i'm NEVER HOME... AND WHEN I GET HOME THE DISHES ARE ALWAYS PILED UP AND I HAVE TO DO THEM BECAUSE THATS WHEN SHE STARTS COMPLAINING. SHE SAYS I HAVE TO DO IT BECAUSE IM the only girl in the household. I have 2 other siblings both guys and she says THE BOYS WHO ARE 15 AND 11 DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING BECAUSE THEIR BOYS and guys don't do dishes. AND I DISAGREE. THERE SHOULD BE A RULE ABOUT EVERYONE CLEANING THEIR OWN MESS. NO MATTER WHAT SEX. Well what I started doing was washing everything that was cooked in BY MY MOTHER.. what my mother and myself used and leaving behind the dishes that the boys use. The 11 year old cleaned his.... and the 15 year old claims he's not doing any dishes because that's my job. AFTER YELLING AT HIM AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS FOR A FEW MINUTES... and feeling like clocking him over his head... THE DISHES STILL SIT IN THE SINK

Answer 1

Know your place woman!

Now go wash those dishes and make me a sandwich!!!!

Answer 2

This is going to be rough because your mother is treating the boys like they're little princes. Boys get dishes dirty and they're perfectly capable of doing dishes. Maybe you could suggest to your mother that you and the guys share duties. One night you do the dishes and the next one of the brothers and etc. I'm hoping they at least take out the trash or help to pick up around the house. It's not fair for you and your mother to wait on these boys. It doesnt send a good message that women will always take care of them. It's 2007. Even men can learn how to do dishes.

Answer 3

Please tell your mother from me - I raised six kids - that those boys SHOULD be helping around the house. Boys SHOULD do dishes. It is not "girl's work", it is FAMILY work. Your father should also get off his lard butt and take a turn in the kitchen.

Boys who do not share in the chores become lazy, self-centered and marginal citizens. There is nothing wrong with insisting they learn how to run the vacuum cleaner and using a broom, mop and dustpan. Boys need to know how to make their bed NEATLY and to do it EVERY DAY! They should place their soiled clothes in the clothes hamper, never drop 'em on the floor. And DAD can friggin' run the washer and dryer, and then HE can supervise the boys as they help fold and put the laundry away.

YOU, young lady, can also learn to run the lawn mower, use the lawn rake, pull weeds in the yard and garden and sweep out the driveway.

Hey, Mom: it's THEIR home too, and YOU and your DAUGHTER are NOT their slaves - Mister Lincoln done freed dem slaves a lo-oo-ong time ago! YOU need to insist that EVERYONE - male and female alike - in the family pitch in equally and SHARE the chores as well as the blessings of family life. I had three boys and three girls - and they all did chores - they rotated them now and then so nobody got stuck with the nastiest chore consistently. Hail, I even insisted the boys learn to cook!

And in case your hubby don't think that's "manly" - sir, I am a combat veteran of the Viet Nam war (AIRBORNE!!!!); I can shoot as straight as anybody, I led men and women most of my life, and I'm a proud FATHER! If I can do it, you sure can, dude! Treat those kids gently, but make 'em grow up responsible and respectable!

There y'go, young lady. Hope this gets through to the 'rents...

Answer 4

Man, I don't know why your mother plant such outrages seeds in their heads.
A person should be able and willing to share in all the house work. For one they eat/ate the food by themselves so why not clean up by themselves or share.
I consider it part of establishing self pride in work ethics and Independence. They should be considerate enough to help in the house and when they get married, their wives. I did and felt I wanted to learn and do everything in the house that a female does.
That way, if I have a maid (smile) that don't show up or a wife that is sick or not even have a wife, I would not be lost.
I agree with you. Don't give in to the boys. Let their plates pile up. In fact a good idea would be that they not be allowed to get another plate and have to use the same one clean or dirty.
If your mother backs you, I bet they start washing dishes. At least their own-smile.

Answer 5

Letting them sit won't work. My friend tried it. Her husband promised to do dishes for her b-day in January, but didn't. So she decided to see how long it would take. And now, 7 months later, they still sit.

Your mom is so wrong! She is teaching her boys to grow up being selfish, lazy, sexist pigs! And no woman will tolerate that, so guess what? Mom is going to have these guys in her house being babied until the day she dies! I mean, really, why move out and support yourself when mom will do the work and you don't have to do anything??? Maybe mention this to your mom....

I have a 17 y/o sister and 11 y/o brother. We all take turns doing dishes. Mom buys groceries and dad cooks them. With dishes, we usually have an assembly line. I'll wash, Nita will rinse and Erik will dry them and put them up. then we'll switch places the next time.

Someone mentioned fining them as a good idea. I agree. My friend Derek's dad started fining him to get him to clean his room. For every dirty dish in his room, Derek had to pay his dad $15. For any rotten food or garbage, it was $50. Each piece of dirty laundry was another $20. At first, it didn't work but after Derek started losing so much money that he couldn't afford to take his g/f out, he started cleaning his room better.

Answer 6

well, this is really your mom's fault. she is pampering these boys, which is only going to make them a pain in the @ss for some woman in the future. she's really not doing them any favors. i have one older brother and we had to wash dishes, so we took turns and did it every other day. there are 3 of you, so it will be even less work if you split it up.

now, if mom won't get on board and the older one is still being a jerk, just refuse to do any "boy" chores. no yard work, no car washing, no fixing anything. it will still be unfair (unless you do the lawn) since the "guy" work usually gets down WAY less often than "girl" work, which is done everyday. i think you should talk to your mom calmly. ask her if she would want a husband who doesn't do his share. ask her why it's fair for your brothers to use, but not clean up. ask if she thinks any woman will want to deal with the two slobs she's raising.

don't talk to her when you're mad. try to stay calm.

Answer 7

My husband does dishes sometimes...I believe that you should give everyone in the household specific chores, and rotate them so everyone will eventually have a chance to do everything. The days of boys/men not doing things because it's a "woman's job" are just about over I think.

Answer 8

I feel so sorry for the future wives of the "men" raised in your home. I hope your mother is planning on going to their homes when they are grown and cleaning up after them, since she is teaching them that they don't have to clean up after themselves.
You are absolutely right, everyone does dishes including boys/men, but for some strange reason your mother is teaching your brothers a terrible lesson.
I remember a time that my husband had a similar attitude about laundry; that it wasn't his job. When he ran out of underwear because I began washing only my clothes, his tune changed drastically. Maybe your brothers need a similar lesson--no dishes to eat off of until they wash them.

Answer 9

How to win this arguement.

"Mom, you know, boys who don't learn housework are at a serious disadvantage when they don't get married straight out of college.. Don't you want these boys to be able to not have to depend on a woman to keep themselves and thier homes clean? Plus its more attractive to intelligent, together women, when a man keeps a clean place and a clean appearance and if they don't have a woman in thier lives at all times they won't have those things"

Ask her if she ever dated a single guy who had a filthy house or apartment. Ask her did he get a second date. Then say "Well, that's because his mom believed housework was "woman's work" and he never learned how to take care of himself. "

My mom thought that way too until my grandmother pointed out to her that the main thing that irritated her about my dad was that he was no help around the house and its like having another child.

Your brothers will be on a rotating schedule of housework form then on.

Good Luck!

Answer 10

its a sense of responsibility and pride in a job well done. there must be other household chores the young men can be doing and lighten Mom's load. Have Mom fine him, yes, i said fine him the same way an athlete messes up and has to pay a penalty (fee) that way he might not think of doin' dishes as womens work. as you already said, yellin' ain't wrokin' so hit him where it hurts the most, in his wallet, every time he doesn't clean a dish, cup put it on his tab and soon nuff he'll come around

Answer 11

well that is unfair to you that the guys don't do the dishes everyone should share the chores. However if that is your only chore in the house try to do it and not complain too much. Try to think of it as you are helping out your mom. One day they are not going to always have you or your mom around to do things for them and then they will understand that importance of learning to do stuff for themselves. All the best.