I hate being gay?

Question

I hate being like this. I dont know what to do. I think it might be best if I just lie and pretend to be a different person.
I dont want to be gay, i want to be straight.
I was so comfortable with my being gay until this year or so and I dont know what to do. Every day I feel like I die a little.
I dont want to lie and pretend to become straight, but Im left no other option. Its what Ive been doing and my friends are angry at me. They want me to stop confusing them. But I have to confuse them and go in and out of the closet because of...complicated religious convictions. My heart is divided. I want to choose god, but....my heart is breaking when I see other gay guys dating, and kissing, and I see shows like will and grace. Im so lonely right now..I need help. What do I do?

Answer 1

aw that just broke my heart to read that!

I just think you can only do the best you can do. Don't be pressured by friendships or even family. People will either forgive you once you have yourself all figured out or they won't and if they don't then screw them.

Life isn't about just growing up and knowing exactly who you are and what your life is meant to be, it's about learning, experiencing and making mistakes.... don't be so hard on yourself.

As for the religion aspect of it, I am catholic and I understand the way in which the Catholic Church views gays. However, the catholic church isn't who answers your prayers or who will meet you in heaven. God is.. you may be surprised with what you find if you read the bible. God forgave, theives, prostitutes and murderers.. be yourself and love others and you will be at peace with God.

Good Luck.
Light & Love!

Answer 2

Well it reads like you already made a decsion you are gay. And you have already decided on you spiritual belifes. But they don't have to be in conflict. There are churches that will accept you for who you are.

Now the question is--is it God you love and want to please, or a specific pasteur. I mean Jesus wasn't a Catholic or Protestant, etc. So its how you live your life -- certainly the commandants should guide you. But you aren't breaking these. And to be honest, there's no way to grade a sin. So what if you're gay, congraduations. Get over it and live your life with your own heart.

Now you may feel like you can't be gay for your religion...but you can't be divorced and remarried in the catholic church either. Every single divorced catholic who enters a church with a remarried spouse is living in the same degree of sin you are. Think about that... Ponder it! I mean it's a sin to have to husbands, and once married in the church...that's it until death (and a few exceptions).

My best advice to you is to talk to your pasteur/priest about this. I would ask the priest or pasteur in a private sitting and discuss this matter openly. If you are shy, go to another church and discuss this with a priest or pasteur you do not know.

Answer 3

Awe, my heart goes out to you. And don't let these jerks and there nasty comments in here get to you either. I see how hard it must be for you. Be yourself and step out of the closet and remain there. Talk to some people that are gay as well, sorry not familiar with where but discuss their beliefs on religion. I believe in God but also believe in the fact that God loves all of us as long as we accept him and believe in him. I am Christian and I know how strongly they believe that being gay is a choice and that it is against God's will. But I don't believe that and don't believe that God could be so cruel. Be yourself and be happy. God created us all individually no one of us is alike. It is also stated in the Bible the once married you are always married even after a divorce and you are still committing adultry after a divorce. But the Christian church doesn't shun people that have been divorced. Don't worry, live your life as you and you can still choose God.

Answer 4

If this is a real post and not just trolling, there are resources available to those who do not want to be homosexual. PFOX ( Parents and Friends of Exgays) Exodus ministries and Homosexuals Anonymous can all be discretely contacted through the Internet. ( they can be found via you search engine) and all of them offer resources for those who wish to remove themselves from the gay lifestyle. There are a lot of Exgays out there these days who assert that they can and have changed their sexual orientation. Ellen Degenderes' ex girlfriend left the lesbian relationship that she was in with Ellen and married a man and is now a happy , straight mother and wife.

Answer 5

It sounds like religion is the major source of your pain over your lifestyle. I just don't think you can pretend to be straight- and even if you do, you'll probably never really feel happy or fulfilled in your life. I know that there are churches out there that embrace different lifestyles while spreading the word of God. You don't have to cut religion entirely out of your life just to be true to who you are. Maybe you could just check into some of these alternative churches and groups. I know there's actually even a group for Catholics who are gay regardless of the religion's interpretation of homosexuality. Whatever you do, don't be ashamed of who you are. If life is truly God's greatest gift-and I feel that it is- don't you think He'd want you to live it in a way that brings you love and joy? Or do you think He'd want you to shroud yourself in lies and hypocrisy and be miserable because you thought that's what He wanted from you? You can have both love and God- there shouldn't have to be a choice. Good luck to you.

Answer 6

First off, anyone who tells you to kill yourself is an freaking jerk.

Second, pretending to be someone else is going to make you feel even worse because at the end of the day when you go to sleep, you'll know know you're not being true to yourself =/

You can't just stop being gay, it's better to accept yourself and live your life happily. I don't understand why you can't do that. Even if it takes time...just talk to some other gay people or very close friends.

Answer 7

The best thing that i find is to tell ALL guys that you are not. Why do they think you are? do you dress different or act different? Anyways just tell you best friends that ARE girls. But only do so one by one and never in a group. The problem with telling stright guys is that if other guys find out that you are gay/bi then your guy friends will stop hanging out with you because they dont want people to think there are also. Then you will only hang out with girls. Fun sometimes but not all the time. lol

Answer 8

The Bible may forbid being gay (or not; Jesus said we don't have to follow Old Testament rules anymore), but it also forbids the eating of shellfish. Check out www.godhatesshrimp.com for more. God may be more angry at you for not eating kosher than for being gay.

Even Paul's letter to the Corinthians only refers to "men committing indecent acts with other men;" sex in a commited relationship isn't indecent. There's also a lot of debate about whether or not the "clobber passages" against homosexuality are actually mistranslations, like those badly translated Japanese instruction manuals.

Answer 9

“You don’t need anybody to tell you who you are or what you are. You are what you are!.”
John Lennon
It is a famous saying when john was ask about his Friend Elton John who is gay. But listen we know we live in a str8 persons world and it would all be easyer if we could just turn str8 but we cant. You are what you are. You just have to expat that. You don't have to tell any one yet. If you did. they tell them to exept you the way you are and the god part. most gay people believe in god more the str8 people i think. And all those people that say look the bible says this about gay and gays it isn't true. Just be who you are not wont you wont.

If you ever wont to talke you can email me but clicking my profile and do all of that i hoped i help =)

Answer 10

I wish i could say i know how you feel but i honestly don't, if you like men be with men if its your religion that's holding you back from being your true self then just say to yourself "you only live once" and its true i know when I'm older my friend Louis will be gay you can kind of tell by the way he acts and when he does come out to be gay me and the rest of my friends will support him. Some of your Friends might support you and some wont in whatever decision you make, its your life live it the way you want to live it.

Good luck..!