Should I quit or stay? What would you do?

Question

I have four years in with my current employer. I am senior with the benefits of being senior. It is a road job. I travel 95% of the year and I have four children under 15. I could match my income from home by taking two jobs even McDonald's and Pizza Delivery but that would destroy my career and it would, I fear hurt my family in the long run.

I love the job. I love what I do. I hate being away from the family.

Right now I daily pray for something that will allow me to work one job and be at home and I apply around and wait.

Answer 1

Do not quit your day job...IF you are not happy doing what you love to do, you will lose your interest in life and, more importantly, you will lose your self respect! Nothing can buy that one back once you have lost it! Don't even think about it! If you are not proud of what you do, and happy doing it, trust me, you will destroy YOU, along with your family's feelings toward you...not very wise to even consider it! Your family is doing just fine as conditions are...why would you even consider doing something so destructive? I can just see you now when asked "what do you do for a living?" "Oh, I work at McDonalds and Pizza Hut." Yea, that one works for me! Why not make sure that when you are home, it is quality time for the whole family? If you took two jobs, you wouldn't have more time with them, probably less! And let's face it, our kids take pride in us also...can you hear them telling their friends that their dad works at McDonalds????? No, I didn't think so. I mean no offense to those who work at McDonalds, but there it is in a nut shell. If you want more time at home, develope an on-line business in the field you love....nurse it along ..that one you can do with a notebook computer from motel rooms (almost all motels have wifi now), and within a few years, if you are lucky, it will be a very big business.!!!!! I was in the Event business (a long list of my careers), hated it, opened a small on-line shop thinking it would be fun and provide a night out once a month...within 5 months, I had 6 employees, had to move the business out of my house and into a bay, quit my Event job, and today, the business nets 2.5 million a year!!!!! and yes, I live, eat, breath my job because I absolutely love what I do! I can take however much time off as I like, I never get far from the business (my computer goes with me wherever I go), I keep tabs on what is going on at least 3 times a day when away, and I love life. You can do the same thing, without the drama and self loathing that you will encounter if you proceed down the path you are thinking about. I did all this without ever taking one client of my bosses, for the new business had NOTHING to do with Event planning or sales of events. Seek and ye shall find. Good luck and peace, Goldwing.

Answer 2

If you feel that kneeling and bowing is demeaning, then there is something probably wrong with you, it is an honour to be raised, you are being informed by a superior that you are worthy of being raised to your next rank. You should feel honoured that your hard work and dedication has been regonized. If you find this demeaning, then you obviously find yourself either your masters equal or better, and you should not defer to him. In all honestly i do not believe you are the right kind of person for a martial art, you can still do a martial study, but most likely stay away from the arts, try boxing, or kickboxing, something like that, roman greco wrestling, where there is no visible heirachy, and you only get what you put out, there is no real deference there, as long as you understand that many other people will know more than you, if not more, than different, always seek to expand yourself. But yes, drop Kung Fu.

Answer 3

You haven't told us what you do for a living? and why your
job takes you away from home so much?
Can you transfer your skills
to a local company? If you are a Senior? could you retire now and have enough income to live on? I assume with 3 kids, NO.
Some men think their job
defines who they are. Some
men think family does. I don't know what category you fit into but I feel you really want to stay home. If you go against that internal drive, you may be placing undue stress on yourself. Thinking realistically....you should get
a good physical and ask the
Dr. how many years he estimates you can fight the
rat race and survive? This
may give you a timetable
on where you want to spend
your future.
There is only one of you. You are cut in half betwixt
family and job...Either move
the family to the job, or vice
versa. OR find a way to support the family and stay near them. Being absolutely
realistic...Employers are not fond of hiring Senior men.
Yes, the Lord COULD dump
a miracle in your lap BUT
it looks like HE is leading you
out on that proverbial limb
again (which is where I've
been many times.)
One suggestion that has always helped me is the old
standby FASTING AND
PRAYER. Get serious and
mean business. I think you
will see the question marks
vanish.

Answer 4

Is there a position with your current employer that would allow you to travel less? If there isnt anything they could slot you into, is your employer willing to fund education or training that would make you eligible for such a position? I assume that when you travel you are of course in contact with people using your services or products, network and see if there is another company providing the same service or product that might be hiring. IE someone may say "Did you hear so and so is leaving Burns?" or whatever. Check trade papers to see if there are positions available.

How about contacting some head hunters in your area? Once you get further up the ladder these positions are usually not advertised the way others are - if you are management contact a head hunter who handles manaement positions.

When my exe wanted to change jobs there were none advertised anywhere, I called a head hunter and WOW they phoned back with SIX positions for him to choose from.

You do not want to interrupt your career as you said. It would be a good move to be home more with your family, an absent partner and parent can really wear on a marriage.

Start networking - search out companies on the internet in your area. Does your experience and skills transfer into another business for instance. Even middle level managers can often transfer based on experience with personnel supervision, a good sales record etc even if the new position isnt "in your field"

A few ideas, hope it helps good luck

Answer 5

Erik, you know the right answer. Search your heart. I understand that traveling can become mundane and you must get tired of having to stay away from home and spend a lot of time in motels or hotels, but you have already stated
"I love the job I love what I do. I hate being away from the family." "it would, I fear hurt my family in the long run."

I think you answered your own question.
Your prayers will be answered because you prayed, period. Anyway, at least you won't have to deal with "you know who"

Stay with your job. It's gets harder to find a job as we get older. You should try to stick it out and get more seniority.

Tough decision. You will be shown the way. You have many good suggestions from people who answered your question.

Answer 6

Eric, this is a tough question...you need the income to support your family, but in the other hand, what do your wife think of this?..money is not all in life but sure help..keep applying and wait before you take a drastic decision...you do not say what kind of job is that keep you away 95%of your time..maybe you need to talk to your employer and see what is what they can do for you...good luck and don't quit with out a job on the line

Answer 7

Does your company have any jobs that do not require so much traveling? If another position is available in your company then go after it. Or keep looking for another job you would be comfortable doing.

I have a relative who traveled constantly doing employee training for a company. She was very well paid. Her husband and children missed her and she wasn't there much to enjoy her family. She kept looking and found an new job where she can continue being an employee trainer but the company brings the "students" to her. She loves it, her family loves it and this job pays better than the previous job.

Good luck.

Answer 8

After a lot of soul searching and a good deal of prayer,
I stayed with and retired from the Navy. Lost a good number
of relatives to mortality during that period. Believe I did
what I was meant to do, and although there were negatives,
what was right for my family. It's a tough call between you
and the wife (God would like to be in there too), you've
just gotta do what you gotta do.

Answer 9

Can't you use your seniority in the company to apply for a desk job with limited or no travel, through the same company? I am sure that most companies want to hold on to their valuable senior staff, even if that means having to make concessions such as create a new position for you so you can cut back on your traveling. I know most of the companies I have worked for have always done whatever they could to keep their staff from having to look for a new job. One girl I knew was moving across the country with her new husband, so rather then let her quit, they simply secured her a job at the California branch of the company so she could just transfer. Talk to your boss or HR director to see what they could offer you. Believe me, if you quit and just get 2 jobs to equal the income of your current one, you'll never see your family anyway.

Answer 10

You missed so much of your kids lives already.

Why not discuss with your employer your desire to be home more and see what they can offer you. If might mean a reduction in pay - but you have a lot of benefits accumulated and it would be terrible to compromise those.

See if some of the work you do could be done from home.

Or perhaps work only half time or three-quarter time.

Or travel half as much and et more "desk work".

Before you start looking I would have a very serious discussion with your employer with lots of sugestions about how to restructure your job.