My 16yr old was a nice kid. I'd sit w him late at night doing HW until I put him in private school for kids w learning disabilities. He was doing well until 8th grade were he just started bieng a total delinquent:he lies,steals, cusses his 2 younger sibs & more.Things get worse annually & he is in a school for kids w social problems (mostly autism). I have increased his thearapy time but he still throws vilolent screaming, crying tantrums (he is 6'2). He runs away when I try to ground him. I stopped spanking him around 14 years when he called the police on me. I'm scarred he is going to hurt his10 year old sis cause he says he wishes she were dead. He says I treat her and my middle son(13) like they are better and smarter. I so love my 1st born, but I dislike him. I now it's sounds crazy but my house is peacful until he wakes or comes home from school.He is spiteful, winy,never listens & talks non stop.The siblings & hubby r traumatized by the daily fights. I feel like running away!
2007-08-28 09:02:34 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
For Mama Carrie; the father and I have recently seperated. I was giving a summary of activity over the years.
2007-08-28 09:18:32 · update #1
I've been there, even the police part. My son has PDD which is on the more functional spectrum of autistic disorders. We sent him to Children's Hospital in Dallas for 6 weeks (8 years ago) for them to test him, train him, and figure out what meds would work best with his diagnosis (ADD/PDD/bipolar). It's been a lot of work with a psychiatrist, but Joel is a normal 17 yo kid now.
Talking non-stop is a big symptom of ADD. Is he receiving any medical therapy? He needs medicine from a PSYCHIATRIST. Therapy can only go so far if you haven't cured the underlying illness. You can try to talk a kid out of chicken pox, but unless he receives medical treatment, he'll still have chicken pox.
I spent many years disliking my son, because he was such a handful--crying, tantrums, threats, absolute non connection to the world around him. The better he did on the meds, his behavior has improved.
He still lies to us, we know. And his attitude about working in the house is only based on the reward to be earned. But I made him get a job this summer and he earned almost $1K, developed a much better work ethic, and quickly rose to the top of the student workers. He's a leader, a star in the Jazz Band at school, and an all-around good kid. Without the care from his psychiatrist, this would have been impossible.
Best wishes,
Debbie
e-mail if you like.
P.S. NAMI can find you drs., therapists, and is a source for tons of info on autism, learning problems, social problems, etc. www.nami.org (National Alliance for Mental Illness).
2007-08-28 09:23:35 · answer #1 · answered by TX Mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-20 02:28:25 · answer #2 · answered by jennifer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My heart goes out to you. I can't speak from experience but I know several really good people in your situation.
Here's my best advice: pray daily with your family, alone and especially with your spouse. There is such peace in seeking God's help when you just can't face another day. Perhaps the answer is something simple that you can start doing right away that will gradually make things better. Sometimes when life seems impossible and the problems just won't go away, all you can pray for is that God will strengthen you so that you can face it.
Make sure you have something to look forward to every week like dinner out or sending the kids to the movies together so you have an peaceful evening at home.
Take deep breaths and keep a prayer in your heart. You were sent here to do an important work and you will succeed.
2007-08-28 09:20:52 · answer #3 · answered by annie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not crazy at all. I've told my kids on a few occasions when they were acting up that I love them, but I didn't like them very much at that moment. They understand the difference.
Have you checked out boot camp type programs for people with the problems he is having?? Or some type of military school enviroment, a place where not only is there someone there to monitor him daily, but someone who can control him as well. Might be an option you need to consider so that everyone else in the home can feel safe.
2007-08-28 09:14:41 · answer #4 · answered by az_mommma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him and and counsellor together. Autism is very complicated and he probably feels like a looser if his other siblings are different. You need to find out where did yout go wrong maybe spoilt him too much , cos he has a disability and did not set the boundaries early on. And it is hard when he has reached his teenage as it can be a serious test for parents. TEll him you love him and just want him to respect you and cooperate!
2007-08-28 09:16:48 · answer #5 · answered by Lona 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
G'day. There really should be a place for people like this. There is nothing you can do until he wakes up to himself, and that depends on his personality. As soon as he is old enough, get him a job and cut him loose. Protect the rest of your family. There is nothing you can do for him until he is ready to admit he is in the wrong... and that is unlikely to happen while he is leading the easy life sponging off you. Yes, any kid (or adult) that treats his/her family that way IS sponging off them. Everyone has to earn there place in life and alow everyone else the right to a nice life. Cut him loose. He can always come back when he's ready to be a reasonable person. If not, concentrate on your other kids. Best of luck. Bruce
2007-08-28 09:33:57 · answer #6 · answered by tredbruce138 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think what you are feeling is normal for a parent raising a troubled child. It's not that you don't like HIM. You love him, you just don't like some of his behavior. Maybe the two of you could go to counseling together. See if you can work out some of the communication barriers that are keeping you from having a healthy relationship. Be patient and kind. Love him unconditionally and keep trying. Hopefully, it will get better.
2007-08-28 09:11:37 · answer #7 · answered by Becky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i drive for a school and do work between my runs for a school like ur describing dont feel like a bad parent its hard to deal with children like that i dont have one but im around them more than i am my own children keep ur head up n be there for them no matter what and if u feel ur other children r in danger there should be some place to call n get some help for him i assume hes on meds if hes in a school like that. Well hun good luck and i really hope something good will come from somewere for u n ur family
2007-08-28 09:12:43 · answer #8 · answered by Mandi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my son had mental disabilities and mental diorders...i had trouble with him since he was 6yrs.old but he was a straight a student and graduated...your problems are worse cause he is threatening the other kids and yes he could be dangerous.hes a delinquent and you need to find help for him before he does something...there are hotlines you can call and talk to someone about this there are also organizations and groups out there too look in you phone book or even ask the therapist hes see now to see if him/her can recomend someone,but do it soon
2007-08-28 09:15:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice is to start praying for him. Ask God to allow you to see him the way HE does. I know how it feels to love your child, but to not always like them. I have a sixteen year old too. Prayer helps a lot, also, I would suggest finding a counselor or a Psychologist to help him deal with his anger.
2007-08-28 09:36:29 · answer #10 · answered by guts_spunk_moxie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋