Do you think this is a good rule of thumb for married people?

Question

Or really anyone in a serious relationship.

Each person should try to avoid doing things or going places alone with a member of the opposite sex.

I think it's just common sense and will help avoid tempting situations. Others think it's completely paranoid and based on jealousy.

But I know first hand, this type of thing can lead to trouble, no matter how much you love your spouse or how much you think you can control yourself. What's your opinion?

Are you all really that trusting of yourselves? I for one am human, and realize a happy marriage doesn't just happen. It requires work and sacrifice from both parties.

And I'm not even married btw.

lol, no one has cheated on me, but I am the one who was tempted.

I'm glad you are all confident enough to think you would never give into temptation.

I think this is a good reflection of the over 50% divorce rate in the US.

Answer 1

There's your answer. You aren't even married yet, so you have no idea what it takes to stay married. Keeping a marriage happy and healthy does take work, and most people (I know some are willing) don't want to just throw that out the window. And since you are the one that was tempted to cheat, you think everyone thinks that way. Obviously, if you can't even trust yourself, you will never trust anyone else either.
By the way, the number one cause of divorce is money, not infidelity. It's up there, but it's not the main reason for the high divorce rate.

Answer 2

I have to agree that the statement is based on jealousy, paranoia, and lack of self control.
It's too much of a blanket statement. I can go anywhere with any man, and not be tempted to cheat on my husband. I love him and our life together. I'm not saying I have never noticed an attractive man since I have been married, but I have self control and love and respect for myself and my marriage. I also trust my husband completely.
It would seem a person that makes a statement like that knows they aren't capable of staying faithful in certain circumstances, so this person assumes nobody is capable.

Answer 3

I disagree. If I didn't trust my husband's common sense, I would not have married him. If there was anything in his conduct that I felt was unacceptable, I would not have married him. The truth is, I wouldn't marry a man who had a strong propensity for going out with members of the opposite sex all the time, anyway. So in the rare situations when my husband does find himself "going places" with a member of the opposite sex, I understand that it made sense for him to do so, and have no problem with it.

I think it's only a good "rule of thumb" if you can't trust your spouse to begin with.

Answer 4

I disagree...I see no reason to be paranoid about being with someone of the opposite sex. People can avoid temptation if they choose to, but if their relationship is strong and they are really into their significant other, then someone else isn't going to be able to tempt them...

When they find themselves tempted, they need to evaluate what's missing from their relationship that another could get their attention in that way...

Answer 5

I just think it's a matter of respect for the other person's wishes. I wouldn't maintain a close friendship with a straight man and go do things with him without my husband being there. And why would you want to? That is tempting fate even if the person it just a "friend". I'm not a jealous person myself but I'm not sure I'd want my husband hanging out with a straight woman without me. I wouldn't worry about him but I would wonder what her intentions are. Have your friends, male or female, just don't put them before you husband/wife/significant other. Again, it's all about respect for your partner's feelings.

Answer 6

I think that it depends on the parameters of the couple.
My perfect relationship would be one where both parties have so much trust in the other that it wouldn't matter if they did go out with a member of the opposite sex - but they still choose to NOT out of respect for their partner.
Besides, there's nothing hard about inviting your spouse to join you! Then they know for sure there's nothing to hide.

Answer 7

I have lots of male friends, most of whom my husband knows because we all went to high school together. He also has friends that are women. He isn't really friends with my friends, and feels left out of our conversations, so he prefers I hang out with them alone.

I hear about these "tempting" situations from people on here all the time, but I really just don't understand it. If I didn't WANT to be with my husband, I just wouldn't be. Period. I have no qualms against divorce. My husband knows that every day I'm still here is a day that I want to be. I don't feel "tempted" by my guy friends. They are just friends. Same goes for him. I'm not afraid he's doing anything wrong or even thinking about it when he's out with a female friend.

Maybe we are just the exception to the rule.. I dunno.

Answer 8

No, you are wrong. Just because you are married or in a serious relationship is no reason to avoid being alone with people of the opposite sex.
Trust -commitment- honesty and a stable relationship, and you have nothing to worry about.

Answer 9

Temptation is everywhere. If you seriously cant trust someone if they are not with you, then its just not worth it! When a couple is ALWAYS together, I find they lose their individuality and become one....which is not good for long term purposes...the whole thing is a little out the box if you ask me.

Answer 10

It just depends on who the other person they are going with and what for. It also depends on how well you trust your partner. I know that I have my limits and boundaries and cheating does NOT come to my mind because that will just be in my conscious and is not the morally right thing to do especially in the name of love!