Tomorrow My Mom Will Marry A Jerk- Help!!!?

Question

My mom wants me to be a witness at City Hall to marry a Free Loading Jerk 2morrow!! He's a liar, thief & a Complete Screwup.
My problem is that it's typical to not like your "Step-dad". He's about 12 years younger than her and only has a high school diploma.
My mom has a Master's in Nursing and is an established Homeowner, Self-Starter- Perfect Role Model type. She goes for what she wants and gets it.
She's a bombshell... HE IS A BUM!
But she loves him. They've been together for over 15 yrs had 2 kids & he's NEVER made effort to marry her.
Now she gave him an ultimatum and Tomorrow's the day.
He told HER to find a witness- and he'll do it. So- Lucky Me.
My thing is why wont he find a witness? My mom and I are the only ones in our family that live in this state. His whole fam is here. He says He doesnt want anyone in his Business. But I think he really doesnt want to marry her and its his way of saying if u want it, u do the work.
Do I tell my mom how I feel or not interfere?

Answer 1

I am sorry but if he makes your mum happy it's her life.
Just be ready to help her pick up the pieces if it does not work

Answer 2

Sweetie, you mom has sold herself short, but she has done that for 15 years, so it is pretty much her personality. To ask your mom to today, wake up and smell the roses is hopeless... she is who she is. And yup, I'd say she's indeed a bombshell, but she doesn't know it, and figures this is all she is worth.... It would be hopeless for you to tell her your feelings about her choices in men... It would be as if you told her that you thought she was too tall.... It isn't anything really that she can change... But learn something for yourself....

1. The most important decision you will ever make is who you marry, and who you have children with..... use your head as well as your heart.
2. Don't have kids you can't support yourself. She at least made sure she had a salable skill.... be sure you do that for yourself.... 'cuz, your education and kids are forever.... husbands lovers and promises are not... Stay in school, hon.
3. And as for your future, always have a stash of cash no one knows about, even after you are married, and even if you are sure you will never need it.... you will, and the more stashed, the better.

Be sure this lesson she is about to teach you gets branded into your brain, and the three little things above are from my mom, who hammered in these ideas since I was 13.

And he's no dummy, sweetie. They are already married if they have lived together for 8 years... it is called common law so legally it changes nothing and he undoubtedly knows it.
Accept your mom for the great, wonderful person she is... she must have taught you enough so that by looking at this guy, you will never be tempted to get preggers by such a guy, nor will you regard one like him as husband material.

So, no, don't tell her your feelings....I'm sure she knows them already...

Answer 3

In my opinion, I believe in truth. Your mom will NEVER know how you feel until you sit down and have a heart to heart. You must tell her how you feel, otherwise nothing you want will come of this.
Although whsat you want may be to late, considering the time they've had together. What I don't get is why is she making an ultimatum to marry him? I mean if not, she would leave? To me that doesn't sound like a stable love.
Maybe tell your mom that you are worried about her relationship considering that she made him marry her, and that he's not willing to do any of the work to provide for her. And that you have a problem with that. Good luck.

Answer 4

Yes of course you have to let her know how you feel. This is a big step not only in her life but it affects you too! Tell her what you feel about this "jerk" and just note that you have to respect her wishes. Even if this guy isn't the right one for her it's her decision whether it is right or wrong. She will learn later that he's not the one if that's what's in store for her. Sometimes people have to learn the hard way so definitely tell her your feelings and don't interfere too much. Be there for your mom and if she's happy then you should at least be happy for her as well.

Answer 5

Tell her, but don't expect it to make a difference. She sounds like a very intelligent woman who could figure this out if she were thinking with her head instead of her heart. You will learn, as an adult, you can't stop people from making mistakes. You already know this marriage will probably not end well, so just be there for your mom when she needs a shoulder to cry on. Wish her well, if this is what she is determined to do. She doesn't know it yet, but she is going to need your love more then ever in the coming years. Try to refrain from saying "I told you so" when the time comes.

Answer 6

i know this is gonna suck b ut here goes............
you cant do anything, she is blinded by love and when that happens u can throw anyone to the side just to be with the one that u love, even ur own daughter.
i know she is ur mother, but what ever u do, against her hubby she will feel like ur hurting her.
sad but true, all you can do is show up, be her witness, and sign the paper. tell her how u feel, but dont try to make her stop the wedding.
just be there, when this whole thing goes down, and shell always have a shoulder to cry on.

i wish u and ur mom the best of luck.

Answer 7

I'm sure your mom knows how you feel. My mom is a class act at marrying jerks. The last time she married she didn't even tell us. I've told her I don't want to hear anything about him & I don't want him around my children. So now when she comes to visit, she slips in a "my husband this, my husband that" comment. It's so sickening. Did I mention he's a murderer serving a life sentence? I've accepted that my mother is an idiot and will never have anything because of her dumb choices, but I don't allow it to affect my life. She chose him over her family. Good luck 2D

Answer 8

She's been with him for 15 years. Let her get married and be happy. He could have said no. It doesn't matter who gets the witness. You just don't like him. Your mom is smart and a good mother. She deserves to be happy. She can't make you love him but you shouldn't stand in her way. Talk to her, tell her how you feel. She would want to know.

Answer 9

I'm afraid I don't think there is anything you can do. Just be very, very supportive and be there for your mum, should things go wrong.

To be honest, you sound a little bit patronising and snobby, the high school diploma was a give away. He's been with her for fifteen years so he must like her. Give him some dues. Maybe he's just easy going.

Answer 10

If your mum is getting married tomorrow you're a wee bit late asking for help, are you not? Personally I think you'd be as well talking to yourself. She's been with him for 15 years, has two children with him and by the sounds of it, she's a very intelligent lady. Go figure, sweetheart.

Answer 11

Is this dude really makes you that uncomfortable I say tell your mom! My mom married an @$$ a few years back, who I hated, and I didn't say anything. I was her maid of honor. Any who, this guy, who happened to be 30 years OLDER then my blonde bombshell mom, ironically turned out to be a bit of a gold-digger and totally lied to my mom about his financial situation (he was in major debt.) They're divorced now, thank god, but my mom was ssooo upset when she found out. I was even more upset that that jerk hurt my mom. Tell her while you still have the chance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!